dealt me. It doesn’t mean I can’t be who I am and still be happy. If I continue down this path, I’m no better than them.
Pity then that the only man I can see myself happy with is still too afraid to be himself.
A fter pulling on my jeans and shirt, I reach for the knob, but the door opens and I find myself face to face with North. He looks surprised to see me dressed. My eyes rake over his naked torso, committing him to memory because I’m not sure I’ll ever get to see this sight again. And goddamn is it a sight. From head to toe this man is sex personified, and as he stands in the doorway, holding my gaze, I breathe in the cloying scent of come, sweat and aftershave, and I have to fight the urge to pull him to me and kiss those big beautiful lips.
Stupid.
So fucking stupid to think that this wouldn’t change anything between us, or that it could change us for the better.
“I’m gonna take off,” I say.
“Half-baked? Your dad’s gonna fucking kill you.” His minty breath washes over my face as he pushes me back from the doorway. “Friends don’t let friends walk home half-baked.”
Friends don’t fuck one another, either .
“It’s fine; obviously I can’t stay here.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because you just fucked me and ran off to the bathroom like a little bitch who was afraid she had cooties,” I snap, and North’s dad snorts in his sleep. We both hold our breath. He settles back into the same steady rhythm and North shoves me farther into the room. I have no choice but to go. He closes the door behind us and says, “You’re not going anywhere.”
“This was a dumb idea.”
“Why?”
“Why?” I ask. Is he really that fucking daft? “Jeez, North. I don’t know, maybe because you wouldn’t let me touch you.”
“It’s not my thing.” He shrugs. I close my eyes because that stung more than I’m willing to let him see. “That doesn’t mean anything has to change between us. We’re still exactly the same people we were an hour ago. Now come on, I need sleep. I’m stuffed.”
Is he really going to pretend like nothing happened?
You can’t just turn that shit off. Trust me, I’ve tried. He wanted it as badly as I did, so why the hell did he walk away?
“I’ll just take the floor,” I say. Arguing with him tonight won’t do any good.
“Stop being such a fucking pussy, Will, and get in here.” North sheds his jeans and climbs into bed. He’s not wearing boxers now, which surprises me. I can’t help but look. North wets his bottom lip and rolls over to face the window.
I shuck off my shoes and shirt, but I leave my jeans on and climb under the covers, despite the heat and the poor ventilation. Sweat prickles along the back of my neck and across my forehead.
North rolls over. Grabbing hold of my belt, he gives it a good hard tug that makes my stomach knot and my dick twitch. “Take your fucking jeans off or your nut sack is gonna be twisted up around your ears by morning.”
“You’re worried about my nut sack, now?”
“Dude, how many times have we slept in this bed in only our boxers?”
“You’re not wearing boxers, North,” I point out.
“So what?” he says, and leans over me to turn off the lamp. I take in a deep breath, inhaling his strong, masculine scent. “I just had my dick in your arse; somehow I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“True.” I unfasten my belt and jeans and tug them down my hips, kicking them off. I roll on my side, my back to his. All the blood rushes to my dick as I realise we’re both completely starkers.
“North?”
“What?” he groans, his voice husky. I love that he turns into a little kid when he’s tired. Big fucking sook .
“Was it …” I pause, not sure I really want to know the answer, but forging ahead anyway. “Was it disgusting to you?”
“Fucking you?”
“Yeah. I thought maybe because you ran off—”
“No, it wasn’t disgusting.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. His hot breath
Pity then that the only man I can see myself happy with is still too afraid to be himself.
A fter pulling on my jeans and shirt, I reach for the knob, but the door opens and I find myself face to face with North. He looks surprised to see me dressed. My eyes rake over his naked torso, committing him to memory because I’m not sure I’ll ever get to see this sight again. And goddamn is it a sight. From head to toe this man is sex personified, and as he stands in the doorway, holding my gaze, I breathe in the cloying scent of come, sweat and aftershave, and I have to fight the urge to pull him to me and kiss those big beautiful lips.
Stupid.
So fucking stupid to think that this wouldn’t change anything between us, or that it could change us for the better.
“I’m gonna take off,” I say.
“Half-baked? Your dad’s gonna fucking kill you.” His minty breath washes over my face as he pushes me back from the doorway. “Friends don’t let friends walk home half-baked.”
Friends don’t fuck one another, either .
“It’s fine; obviously I can’t stay here.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because you just fucked me and ran off to the bathroom like a little bitch who was afraid she had cooties,” I snap, and North’s dad snorts in his sleep. We both hold our breath. He settles back into the same steady rhythm and North shoves me farther into the room. I have no choice but to go. He closes the door behind us and says, “You’re not going anywhere.”
“This was a dumb idea.”
“Why?”
“Why?” I ask. Is he really that fucking daft? “Jeez, North. I don’t know, maybe because you wouldn’t let me touch you.”
“It’s not my thing.” He shrugs. I close my eyes because that stung more than I’m willing to let him see. “That doesn’t mean anything has to change between us. We’re still exactly the same people we were an hour ago. Now come on, I need sleep. I’m stuffed.”
Is he really going to pretend like nothing happened?
You can’t just turn that shit off. Trust me, I’ve tried. He wanted it as badly as I did, so why the hell did he walk away?
“I’ll just take the floor,” I say. Arguing with him tonight won’t do any good.
“Stop being such a fucking pussy, Will, and get in here.” North sheds his jeans and climbs into bed. He’s not wearing boxers now, which surprises me. I can’t help but look. North wets his bottom lip and rolls over to face the window.
I shuck off my shoes and shirt, but I leave my jeans on and climb under the covers, despite the heat and the poor ventilation. Sweat prickles along the back of my neck and across my forehead.
North rolls over. Grabbing hold of my belt, he gives it a good hard tug that makes my stomach knot and my dick twitch. “Take your fucking jeans off or your nut sack is gonna be twisted up around your ears by morning.”
“You’re worried about my nut sack, now?”
“Dude, how many times have we slept in this bed in only our boxers?”
“You’re not wearing boxers, North,” I point out.
“So what?” he says, and leans over me to turn off the lamp. I take in a deep breath, inhaling his strong, masculine scent. “I just had my dick in your arse; somehow I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“True.” I unfasten my belt and jeans and tug them down my hips, kicking them off. I roll on my side, my back to his. All the blood rushes to my dick as I realise we’re both completely starkers.
“North?”
“What?” he groans, his voice husky. I love that he turns into a little kid when he’s tired. Big fucking sook .
“Was it …” I pause, not sure I really want to know the answer, but forging ahead anyway. “Was it disgusting to you?”
“Fucking you?”
“Yeah. I thought maybe because you ran off—”
“No, it wasn’t disgusting.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. His hot breath
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