Read Online Finding North by Carmen Jenner - Free Book Online Page B

for anyone else. I mean, I’ve heard all the homophobic bullshit the steel workers sling back and forth down at the pub, especially now that I’m old enough to serve them drinks, but I guess I never felt like I was a part of something anyway, so it made no difference to me.
    But North’s words give me pause, and when I finally pluck up the courage to ask him what he meant, I know the snore isn’t faked. He really is asleep and just like I predicted, I’m wide awake wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do with myself. I should get up and walk home, but I won’t because I don’t know when I’ll have this again. North’s body is warm beside me, and despite the heat, I close my eyes and dream without sleep. I dream of a life where things are very different between us, and him wrapping his arms around me as we slept doesn’t have to be dirty or secret or shameful—it’s just love, comfort and companionship, and it’s beautiful.

    Around three a.m. North starts talking in his sleep. It’s indecipherable, but the moans are enough to let me know what’s what. His rigid length digs into the small of my back as he pushes against me, and my cock stiffens in response.
    I don’t think about it. My hands move involuntarily and grip his head, sliding my fist over his dick from base to tip. North pushes his hips into my hands and I turn on the bed. He’s still asleep, so I know I shouldn’t take this further, but he was lying earlier when he said this wasn’t his thing. Maybe it hadn’t been up until this point, but you don’t just fuck a guy because you’re bored, or it’s the nice thing to do for a friend whose options are limited in a small town. You do it because you want to.
    I lean up, ignoring the blood rushing to my cock making it feel like a lead weight between my legs. In the dark, I study his face and teeter on the edge of my decision. This could be the worst idea I’ve ever had, but it doesn’t feel like it, so I slide down the mattress, lower my head and take him in my mouth. He’s hot, and the taste of salt, sweat and man dances over my tongue. Losing all inhibition, I move my mouth vigorously up and down his shaft.
    North groans as his fingers slide into my hair. “Jesus.”
    If he wasn’t awake when I started, he is now .
    He grunts. His hand fists my hair as he pulls me off him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
    “I wanted to know what you tasted like,” I whisper, afraid to move, afraid he might beat the shit out of me, but he releases me instead, recoiling as though he’d just been burned.
    “I can’t …” He tries to scramble back but I skim my hand over his shaft, and he releases a ragged breath. “I can’t do this.”
    “Why?” I demand.
    “Because I’m not like you. I fuck women, a lot of women, I don’t … What I did before, I was curious, but I—”
    “You fucked me and you were rock hard the whole time,” I whisper, shoving down my anger because I know it will lead me nowhere with him. “Lying with me afterward, holding me? What the fuck was that?”
    “That was me not being an arsehole. I didn’t …” He sighs. “I didn’t want you to think I was a total douche.”
    “You are a total douche, but that’s okay because so am I.” I suck him again, taking his cock right to the very back of my throat. North gasps and rocks his hips towards me. I run my lips up and down his length, working him faster until his breath comes in harsh pants, and his fingers slide into my hair and tug.
    “Jesus Christ, Will. Fuck,” he groans.
    With one hand I reach between my legs and stroke myself, concentrating on the sensitive flesh of my head, matching my rhythm to the one I’m using on his shaft. When I think we’re both close I take him from my mouth and shift on the bed.
    “Fuck,” North hisses quietly. “I was almost there.”
    “I know.” I straddle his hips. North’s expression is somewhere between fearful and desperate, so when I rub my cock along his and use