even know nothing about until this week. I looked at Nausy. She had a strange expression on her face. I couldn’t tell if she liked what was happening to her or not, but she definitely wasn’t fighting Dizzle off, either. All of a sudden, a thought popped in my head that made me panic. If I made Dizzle stop, would he treat me and Nausy differently? Would we be put back out on the street? What would happen to us next? Where would we go?
Suddenly his touching me didn’t seem so bad.
6
I felt strange cuz in a weird way I liked Dizzle. He was good to me and Nausynika, especially cuz we ain’t have nobody in our corner. Both of us ain’t have no family. Me, well, I ain’t know where mine was, and Nausy, well, her mother was in jail in North Carolina for lying to the welfare people about something and wasn’t getting out for three more years. Dizzle was the only person who been nice to me and who been taking care of me since Ms. Val looked so outraged a month ago at the school. I guess it was weird cuz deep down I knew what me and Nausynika was doing with him couldn’t be right, even though the way he made my body feel so good with his soft kisses and gentle touch. I was so confused. He made sure we had whatever we wanted. We ate whatever we wanted, and he still took us different places and bought us stuff.
Lately, I had noticed that Nausy was acting different around me. She said she ain’t like that Dizzle always wanted her to put his thing in her mouth and he ain’t never ask me to do it. I ain’t know why Dizzle never asked me to do it, but I really ain’t want to. I did notice that he never really touched Nausy the same soft way he ran his hands over me. He kissed me long with his tongue and only gave her kisses on the cheek or on her neck and forehead. But I mean, he took care of both of us the same. Buying us whatever food we wanted, letting us pick clothes out that I knew fit and that girls at our school would be jealous about when I got back, and even getting us makeup and cute earrings. Dizzle took care of everything—soap, deodorant, toothpaste, and all. I ain’t know why she had to be complaining. Shoot, as long as we ain’t have to live on the street, she needed to suck it up.
After spending twelve days with him, Dizzle said we had to leave the motel. Said he found a cheaper spot in Capitol Heights that had a kitchen and two queen-size beds. “Y’all gon’ like it,” he said. “It got closet space for both of y’all, too.”
I was happy. I mean, I wished we could’ve lived in our own house , but this was better than living by somebody else’s rules. After we grabbed all of our stuff and filled Dizzle’s car, we left and headed to Maryland. When we got to Central Avenue, he pulled up to a motel across the street from a 7-Eleven. Inside Dizzle was right. There was a little more space than the other motel. We ordered a pizza and watched TV. Dizzle poured us both a small cup of a strong coconut-tasting drink, before he gave us more shrooms that made us feel giddy. Next, Dizzle made us undress. After that he told Nausynika to suck on his thing. She sucked her teeth loud enough for Dizzle to hear her, and then she rolled her eyes as she picked it up slowly.
“What’s wrong, Nausy, baby?” Dizzle said, rubbing her cheek.
“Nothing,” she said, even though it was clear she was mad and that she wanted everybody to know she was.
“You don’t wanna do it?” Dizzle asked.
She shook her head.
“Why not?” he asked.
“How come you never ask her to do it?”
“Cuz you can do it better than KiKi,” he said. “I love the way you do it. I ain’t never had it done so good before I met you. Don’t you want me to feel good?”
She rolled her eyes. I knew she was still upset. “How you know she can’t do it better if you ain’t never ask her to do it?”
“Come on, Nausy. She tried before…once in the bathroom.” Dizzle was lying. I ain’t know why, and I ain’t speak up, either.
Suddenly his touching me didn’t seem so bad.
6
I felt strange cuz in a weird way I liked Dizzle. He was good to me and Nausynika, especially cuz we ain’t have nobody in our corner. Both of us ain’t have no family. Me, well, I ain’t know where mine was, and Nausy, well, her mother was in jail in North Carolina for lying to the welfare people about something and wasn’t getting out for three more years. Dizzle was the only person who been nice to me and who been taking care of me since Ms. Val looked so outraged a month ago at the school. I guess it was weird cuz deep down I knew what me and Nausynika was doing with him couldn’t be right, even though the way he made my body feel so good with his soft kisses and gentle touch. I was so confused. He made sure we had whatever we wanted. We ate whatever we wanted, and he still took us different places and bought us stuff.
Lately, I had noticed that Nausy was acting different around me. She said she ain’t like that Dizzle always wanted her to put his thing in her mouth and he ain’t never ask me to do it. I ain’t know why Dizzle never asked me to do it, but I really ain’t want to. I did notice that he never really touched Nausy the same soft way he ran his hands over me. He kissed me long with his tongue and only gave her kisses on the cheek or on her neck and forehead. But I mean, he took care of both of us the same. Buying us whatever food we wanted, letting us pick clothes out that I knew fit and that girls at our school would be jealous about when I got back, and even getting us makeup and cute earrings. Dizzle took care of everything—soap, deodorant, toothpaste, and all. I ain’t know why she had to be complaining. Shoot, as long as we ain’t have to live on the street, she needed to suck it up.
After spending twelve days with him, Dizzle said we had to leave the motel. Said he found a cheaper spot in Capitol Heights that had a kitchen and two queen-size beds. “Y’all gon’ like it,” he said. “It got closet space for both of y’all, too.”
I was happy. I mean, I wished we could’ve lived in our own house , but this was better than living by somebody else’s rules. After we grabbed all of our stuff and filled Dizzle’s car, we left and headed to Maryland. When we got to Central Avenue, he pulled up to a motel across the street from a 7-Eleven. Inside Dizzle was right. There was a little more space than the other motel. We ordered a pizza and watched TV. Dizzle poured us both a small cup of a strong coconut-tasting drink, before he gave us more shrooms that made us feel giddy. Next, Dizzle made us undress. After that he told Nausynika to suck on his thing. She sucked her teeth loud enough for Dizzle to hear her, and then she rolled her eyes as she picked it up slowly.
“What’s wrong, Nausy, baby?” Dizzle said, rubbing her cheek.
“Nothing,” she said, even though it was clear she was mad and that she wanted everybody to know she was.
“You don’t wanna do it?” Dizzle asked.
She shook her head.
“Why not?” he asked.
“How come you never ask her to do it?”
“Cuz you can do it better than KiKi,” he said. “I love the way you do it. I ain’t never had it done so good before I met you. Don’t you want me to feel good?”
She rolled her eyes. I knew she was still upset. “How you know she can’t do it better if you ain’t never ask her to do it?”
“Come on, Nausy. She tried before…once in the bathroom.” Dizzle was lying. I ain’t know why, and I ain’t speak up, either.
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