Once Upon a Spy (Humorous Cozy Mystery)

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Authors: Nic Saint
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strained his neck to glance at Izzy. “We don’t usually get shot at, you know. Only very rarely so, in fact. Isn’t that right, Matt?”
    “Yeah. We’re more a cloak and dagger type of operation. Except for today and yesterday, I can count the number of times I’ve had to take out my gun on the fingers of one hand.”
    He sank back in his seat. He’d only known Yvonne Assenheimer two days, and already he’d been kicked, shot and pummeled more times than in the entire year before. The woman clearly loved living on the edge. And the strange thing? He kinda liked the surge of adrenaline she’d brought to his life. He hadn’t lied. Their work was more analyst than field agent. Surveillance. Collecting data. Drawing conclusions. The real action was farmed out to a team of field agents. The tactical guys, who acted upon the intelligence they’d gathered. For some reason, he had the distinct impression that ASS would quickly prove to be too boring for Yvonne and Izzy. Oh, hell. He needed an aspirin. Or two.
    Frank’s voice intruded upon his reverie. “Why weren’t you two at ASS? Did you tell them to meet you down at the alley, Matt?”
    “I didn’t.”
    “It’s the address we got. We thought the alley was the entrance to the ASS compound.”
    Matt frowned. Weird. “Who gave you that address?”
    “You did, remember?”
    “I remember giving you a note yesterday. I’m pretty sure it held the right directions.”
    “Yes, but then you sent us that email.”
    Alarmed, Matt looked up. “Email? I never sent you any email.”
    “You wrote that plans had changed, and to meet you downtown.”
    She held out her smartphone, and quickly brought up her email app. He blankly stared at the email, then tapped the screen to check the sender’s information. His email address. His jaw set. “I didn’t send this.”
    “Then who did?”
    He exchanged a glance of alarm with Frank. “Someone who wanted the op to go south.”

Chapter 13

    “I think it’s a conspiracy.”
    Izzy had it all worked out in her head. Someone—possibly this Fatik fellow, or perhaps this Grant guy—had infiltrated the ASS and was sabotaging the investigation from within.
    Yvonne stared at her, wide-eyed, over a cup of coffee. “You think so?”
    Izzy didn’t have to think long. “I know so.” She gestured at the small cafeteria Matt had led them to while he checked up on the email mystery. “This place? Has been compromised.”
    “Compromised.” Yvonne shook her long blond tresses. “Listening to you, Iz, I’d swear you’ve been doing this spy stuff for ages.”
    Izzy shrugged. “Spend enough time watching spy shows, and you pick up a couple of things.”
    “That’s what I get from watching soap operas. I don’t know anything about espionage.”
    “Just follow my lead, hon. I know all there is to know. Like…” She leaned closer, and dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “I just know this place is bugged! I bet there’s cameras and listening devices everywhere!” And to demonstrate the fact, she let her eyes roam the cafeteria, as if looking for hidden cameras and other bugging devices.
    “You think so?” Yvonne stared down at her cup of coffee, as if half expecting a complete camera crew to appear.
    “Every move we make, every word we say, it’s all being recorded for later analysis.”
    “But why? Why do they want to know what we have to say?”
    “Isn’t it obvious?”
    “Um. No?”
    “We’re the femme fatales of the operation, V. And femme fatales always know.”
    “Know? Know what?”
    Izzy threw up her arms. “Everything! Very soon now, Hottie Matt will spill his most intimate secrets to you, and Hottie Frank will do the same with me. And before we know it—or even want it—we’ll know more about this place than anyone alive.” She jabbed a finger at the robust coffee machine. “And they know this. That’s why they’re following us.”
    Yvonne squinted at the coffee machine. “I don’t know

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