Read Online Vengeful Love: Black Diamonds by Laura Carter - Free Book Online
Authors: Laura Carter
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changed. Then he’d come looking for us, Elsa and me.”
He turns. “This is what you need to know about me, Scarlett. You know what I did when he came for me and my sister? I hid from him. I fucking hid!”
His barked words make me jump.
“I stood behind doors, in wardrobes, under beds. He went to Elsa and he didn’t just fucking beat her, Scarlett, he...”
His face is full of anguish as he drags both hands through his hair and holds them to the back of his head, his fingers interlaced, his knuckles white.
A silent tear streams down my face. “He abused her.”
He’s shaking his head, then nodding his head, all the while balling his hair in his fists. I’ve never seen him like this, losing control. “Over and fucking over. At first she’d fight and scream, then she used to take it. Silently. But I could hear it. The bed, the sound of him.”
I can’t move. I’m rooted to my chair, tears pouring down my face.
“It went on for months before I couldn’t sit back anymore. I would go to her. Christ, I can still see it in my head every day. What he did to her. The look in his eyes. He wasn’t bothered about me anymore. It was like he’d stepped up to a whole other level. I’d goad him, shout things and fight him. But he’d knock me down, lock me out of the room. I couldn’t help her and I’m the reason it fucking started.”
His hands move back over his face and he drops his head. Then his body jerks and he smacks a fist so hard into the wall that I’m surprised it doesn’t leave a hole. I move towards him, my legs leaden, desperate to help him, to touch him.
“No.” He turns and I see his red eyes, desperately fighting, unwilling to let go. “You need to hear it.” He takes a deep breath. “She went away for a while. I don’t know where. I was just relieved that my mother had seen sense. The beatings got worse for us but I didn’t care. By then, I wanted them to be worse. I wanted to die. I prayed every night but not for him to stop. I prayed for him to go too far and end it, end everything.”
My silent tears turn to sobs.
“She came back. Elsa. He made her come back. I don’t know how or why, I just remember coming home from school one day. I was ten. She was back, and it started again.”
I reach out to touch his arms but he backs away.
“The next day.” He pulls air through his teeth and rolls his tight jaw. “When I came home from school, the police were at the house. She slit her wrists. She killed herself and it was all my fault.” His eyes close, masking his pain. “I let him beat my mother and rape my sister. Do you hear me? My sister killed herself when she was fourteen years old because I didn’t help her. I stood by and I might as well have killed her myself.” He slams a flat palm against the window and holds it there. “I hurt people I love, Scarlett. And when I met you, it started all over again. I hurt you. I couldn’t protect you. You had to get out of London. You had to get away from me because I’m a monster, Scarlett.”
I’m stuck to the spot, unable to move or think, staring at the broken man in front of me. I don’t know what I expected but I didn’t expect this .
He turns, his eyes fixed on mine expectantly. “So now you know.”
My lungs have an overwhelming need to catch air and I realise I’ve been holding my breath.
“You should go,” he says softly.
I just keep staring at him, images and thoughts confused in my mind.
“It’s okay,” he whispers.
I move my head from side to side, slowly, then faster, then violently. “Gregory, this, all of this, it’s not your fault. Do you hear me? You didn’t ask for that sick bastard to be your father. You were a boy. A baby.”
“I let him rape her, Scarlett.”
“No!” I go to him now and throw my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. “No, you didn’t.”
He wraps his firm arms around my body, holding my head to his shoulder, and rests his chin on my scalp.
“You’re a good
He turns. “This is what you need to know about me, Scarlett. You know what I did when he came for me and my sister? I hid from him. I fucking hid!”
His barked words make me jump.
“I stood behind doors, in wardrobes, under beds. He went to Elsa and he didn’t just fucking beat her, Scarlett, he...”
His face is full of anguish as he drags both hands through his hair and holds them to the back of his head, his fingers interlaced, his knuckles white.
A silent tear streams down my face. “He abused her.”
He’s shaking his head, then nodding his head, all the while balling his hair in his fists. I’ve never seen him like this, losing control. “Over and fucking over. At first she’d fight and scream, then she used to take it. Silently. But I could hear it. The bed, the sound of him.”
I can’t move. I’m rooted to my chair, tears pouring down my face.
“It went on for months before I couldn’t sit back anymore. I would go to her. Christ, I can still see it in my head every day. What he did to her. The look in his eyes. He wasn’t bothered about me anymore. It was like he’d stepped up to a whole other level. I’d goad him, shout things and fight him. But he’d knock me down, lock me out of the room. I couldn’t help her and I’m the reason it fucking started.”
His hands move back over his face and he drops his head. Then his body jerks and he smacks a fist so hard into the wall that I’m surprised it doesn’t leave a hole. I move towards him, my legs leaden, desperate to help him, to touch him.
“No.” He turns and I see his red eyes, desperately fighting, unwilling to let go. “You need to hear it.” He takes a deep breath. “She went away for a while. I don’t know where. I was just relieved that my mother had seen sense. The beatings got worse for us but I didn’t care. By then, I wanted them to be worse. I wanted to die. I prayed every night but not for him to stop. I prayed for him to go too far and end it, end everything.”
My silent tears turn to sobs.
“She came back. Elsa. He made her come back. I don’t know how or why, I just remember coming home from school one day. I was ten. She was back, and it started again.”
I reach out to touch his arms but he backs away.
“The next day.” He pulls air through his teeth and rolls his tight jaw. “When I came home from school, the police were at the house. She slit her wrists. She killed herself and it was all my fault.” His eyes close, masking his pain. “I let him beat my mother and rape my sister. Do you hear me? My sister killed herself when she was fourteen years old because I didn’t help her. I stood by and I might as well have killed her myself.” He slams a flat palm against the window and holds it there. “I hurt people I love, Scarlett. And when I met you, it started all over again. I hurt you. I couldn’t protect you. You had to get out of London. You had to get away from me because I’m a monster, Scarlett.”
I’m stuck to the spot, unable to move or think, staring at the broken man in front of me. I don’t know what I expected but I didn’t expect this .
He turns, his eyes fixed on mine expectantly. “So now you know.”
My lungs have an overwhelming need to catch air and I realise I’ve been holding my breath.
“You should go,” he says softly.
I just keep staring at him, images and thoughts confused in my mind.
“It’s okay,” he whispers.
I move my head from side to side, slowly, then faster, then violently. “Gregory, this, all of this, it’s not your fault. Do you hear me? You didn’t ask for that sick bastard to be your father. You were a boy. A baby.”
“I let him rape her, Scarlett.”
“No!” I go to him now and throw my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. “No, you didn’t.”
He wraps his firm arms around my body, holding my head to his shoulder, and rests his chin on my scalp.
“You’re a good
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