Read Online Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Wonderful World of Odd by Bathroom Readers’ Institute - Free Book Online
Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
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Elvis’s high-school ring. The price he wanted for everything: $80,000. Adams quietly called the cops, and then pretended to be interested until they arrived and arrested the man. Detective Kelli Hickle, who headed the investigation, gave Adams’s police work rave reviews: “I know a lot of Elvis fans who are going to be happy. I heard from a lot of them, and they were heartbroken.”
Adams was happy, too, crediting that incident with rejuvenating his crushed spirit. “I just believe my wife, God, and Elvis have got their hands in this. They set me up to do the right thing.”
ELVIS HAS ENTERED THE ELECTION
In the 2000 mayoral election in Phillips, Wisconsin (pop. 1,600), there were two names on the ballot: Keith Corcilius…and Elvis Aron Presley. Inspired by the political career of former pro wrestler Jesse Ventura, a 50-year-old bar owner (real name unknown) who used to perform as an Elvis impersonator had his name legally changed to Elvis Aron Presley and then decided to run for mayor. “Ventura and I have a lot in common,” “Presley” said. “He’s a wrestler, and I’m a performer. We’re both political outsiders. If the people of Minnesota can put a wrestler in the governor’s office, I don’t see what’s wrong with people in Wisconsin electing an Elvis impersonator as mayor.” The voters didn’t agree: “Presley” lost.
Jets launched from aircraft carriers go from zero to 165 mph in two seconds.
DIDN’T SEE
THAT COMING
Sometimes when you break into someone’s apartment to steal some power tools, you end up with a bunch of human heads instead. Go figure.
T HROUGH RAIN, SLEET, AND GRAVEYARDS
In 2006 Aurelia Cenusa of Severin, Romania, got a large package in the mail. Was it a present from a friend? Had she won a prize? No, it was her father’s remains, exhumed from the grave he had inhabited for the last 16 years. The cemetery where he had been buried was sold, and the church that owned it mailed Ms. Cenusa the remains so that she could bury them somewhere else. “You could still even see bits of his funeral suit,” she said, adding that she planned to sue the church.
IT’S JUST BATWASH
A 60-year-old woman from Woodbury County, Iowa, had been drinking from a mug of tea all day, when she got to the bottom of the cup…and found a dead bat in it. The woman—who asked to remain anonymous—put the bat in a plastic bag and took it to the health office in Sioux City. They sent it to a lab to test it for rabies which, fortunately, it didn’t have. “We test many bats,” said lab manager Mike Pentella, “but none that have drowned in a cup of tea before.” The woman was said to be “recovering from shock.”
YOU’RE UN-INVITED TO MY PARTY
Twenty-nine-year-old Jerry Rose of Jackson, Michigan, was at a party with some friends in the summer of 2006 when someone started a game of “What’s the stupidest thing you ever did?” The room suddenly went silent when Rose answered, “I shot a guy in the head.” For several months, police in the area had been looking for the killer of a 60-year-old man, and had no leads in the case until Rose’s girlfriend, who was also at the party, told the cops about the confession. Rose was arrested and charged with murder.
It would take you more than 200 years to spend a night in every hotel room in Las Vegas.
SPEEDY DELIVERY
Barbara and Johann Meyer were speeding down a street in their hometown of Wachtberg, Germany, in 2006 when police officers pulled them over: A surveillance camera had taken an image of them speeding through an intersection. The Meyers explained that they were on their way to the hospital, where Barbara was about to give birth. Not only did the officers cancel the ticket, they gave the couple a baby present—a plastic toy policeman with a speed gun in its hand. They also gave the couple the photo from the surveillance camera, suggesting they put it in the baby’s first photo album.
LET’S HEAD OUT
Thieves in Vienna, Austria, got
Adams was happy, too, crediting that incident with rejuvenating his crushed spirit. “I just believe my wife, God, and Elvis have got their hands in this. They set me up to do the right thing.”
ELVIS HAS ENTERED THE ELECTION
In the 2000 mayoral election in Phillips, Wisconsin (pop. 1,600), there were two names on the ballot: Keith Corcilius…and Elvis Aron Presley. Inspired by the political career of former pro wrestler Jesse Ventura, a 50-year-old bar owner (real name unknown) who used to perform as an Elvis impersonator had his name legally changed to Elvis Aron Presley and then decided to run for mayor. “Ventura and I have a lot in common,” “Presley” said. “He’s a wrestler, and I’m a performer. We’re both political outsiders. If the people of Minnesota can put a wrestler in the governor’s office, I don’t see what’s wrong with people in Wisconsin electing an Elvis impersonator as mayor.” The voters didn’t agree: “Presley” lost.
Jets launched from aircraft carriers go from zero to 165 mph in two seconds.
DIDN’T SEE
THAT COMING
Sometimes when you break into someone’s apartment to steal some power tools, you end up with a bunch of human heads instead. Go figure.
T HROUGH RAIN, SLEET, AND GRAVEYARDS
In 2006 Aurelia Cenusa of Severin, Romania, got a large package in the mail. Was it a present from a friend? Had she won a prize? No, it was her father’s remains, exhumed from the grave he had inhabited for the last 16 years. The cemetery where he had been buried was sold, and the church that owned it mailed Ms. Cenusa the remains so that she could bury them somewhere else. “You could still even see bits of his funeral suit,” she said, adding that she planned to sue the church.
IT’S JUST BATWASH
A 60-year-old woman from Woodbury County, Iowa, had been drinking from a mug of tea all day, when she got to the bottom of the cup…and found a dead bat in it. The woman—who asked to remain anonymous—put the bat in a plastic bag and took it to the health office in Sioux City. They sent it to a lab to test it for rabies which, fortunately, it didn’t have. “We test many bats,” said lab manager Mike Pentella, “but none that have drowned in a cup of tea before.” The woman was said to be “recovering from shock.”
YOU’RE UN-INVITED TO MY PARTY
Twenty-nine-year-old Jerry Rose of Jackson, Michigan, was at a party with some friends in the summer of 2006 when someone started a game of “What’s the stupidest thing you ever did?” The room suddenly went silent when Rose answered, “I shot a guy in the head.” For several months, police in the area had been looking for the killer of a 60-year-old man, and had no leads in the case until Rose’s girlfriend, who was also at the party, told the cops about the confession. Rose was arrested and charged with murder.
It would take you more than 200 years to spend a night in every hotel room in Las Vegas.
SPEEDY DELIVERY
Barbara and Johann Meyer were speeding down a street in their hometown of Wachtberg, Germany, in 2006 when police officers pulled them over: A surveillance camera had taken an image of them speeding through an intersection. The Meyers explained that they were on their way to the hospital, where Barbara was about to give birth. Not only did the officers cancel the ticket, they gave the couple a baby present—a plastic toy policeman with a speed gun in its hand. They also gave the couple the photo from the surveillance camera, suggesting they put it in the baby’s first photo album.
LET’S HEAD OUT
Thieves in Vienna, Austria, got
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