Read Online Tortured: Book Three of the Jason and Azazel Trilogy by V. J. Chambers - Free Book Online
Authors: V. J. Chambers
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looked eerily like the one I'd
dreamed about last night.
Thoughts of the nightmare immediately quelled any possible good feelings I
might be having. I struggled under Jason, pushing at his shoulders.
He didn't seem to notice, and he didn't stop. It was no good pushing at him anyway,
because he was stronger than I was.
I thrashed beneath him. Jason just kept kissing me, his lips crushing mine with
his own.
Chapter Four
April 22, 1990
Ted (that's what Professor Weem wants me
to call him) has an idea about bringing the Rising Sun into the world. He says
it's about time that it happened. He says that it can be done. It's just a
matter of finding the right people to do it. I got in trouble with my dorm
mother for being late last night, but I told Ted about it, and he said he'd
take care of it.
Jason pulled back, propping himself up on his elbows. "Hey," he said
gently. "What's wrong?"
"Get off of me," I told him, pushing at his chest.
He looked hurt, but he did what I asked. As soon as he sat up, I jumped off the
bed and crossed to the other side of the room.
"Azazel, what's wrong?" Jason said, following me.
"No," I said, "don't come over here."
He stopped. We stared at each other across the dorm room.
"What did I do?" Jason asked.
"I don't like it like that, and you know it," I said. "It's like
that time in the hotel, our first time, when you tried to . . ." When he
tried to what? When he scared me with his intensity. He scared me so much lately. So much.
"I thought you wanted to," Jason said, staring at the floor.
"No you didn't," I said. "You didn't even stop to see if I
wanted to. You just started to do it. And you didn't pay any attention to what
I wanted."
"I thought . . ."
"You scared me."
He went back to the bed and sat down. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."
I advanced on him, trembling with anger. "After
everything that's happened to me. After Toby, and Sutherland, and
everything, you should know that you can't just try to make me do it, just
because you want to."
"Jesus, Azazel. You make it sound like I was trying to rape you or
something."
"That's how it felt," I said.
He shook his head. "Don't say things like that. You know I would never
hurt you."
"Do I?" I demanded. "Do I know that? How many times have I
watched you hurt someone, Jason? How many people have I seen you
kill
?
And I'm supposed to believe you'll never do that to me?"
He stood up. "Yes. You are. You are, because I love you, and you love me.
And I hate to point it out, Azazel, but if I hadn't killed those people, you'd
be dead."
"I can take care of myself now. I don't need you to—"
"Right," said Jason, "you can. And while we're on the subject of
how many people I've killed, let's not forget that you've killed people too. Your own brothers. And your best friend."
I shuddered. "I did that because of you, Jason."
"And I did what I did because of you."
"Michaela Weem said that you would turn on me."
"She also said that she thought both of us were evil and needed to
die."
"She said that being close to you made me evil!" I returned.
"And what if—" I didn't finish. What was I saying here? Was I truly
accusing Jason of turning me into something evil? Was I saying that Michaela
Weem was right, that Jason was an abomination that was destroying everything he
touched? I didn't believe that. I didn't.
I went to Jason and touched his forearm. "I'm sorry," I said softly.
"I'm so sorry."
He looked into my eyes. "It is my fault. If I'd never met you, none of
this would have happened."
"It's not your fault," I said. "If I'd never met you, I'd only
be half-alive. I love you."
"I love you," he said, drawing me into his arms. I buried my face in
this chest. He kissed the top of my head. "I'd never hurt you. Please
believe me. I'm so sorry I scared you."
I looked up at
dreamed about last night.
Thoughts of the nightmare immediately quelled any possible good feelings I
might be having. I struggled under Jason, pushing at his shoulders.
He didn't seem to notice, and he didn't stop. It was no good pushing at him anyway,
because he was stronger than I was.
I thrashed beneath him. Jason just kept kissing me, his lips crushing mine with
his own.
Chapter Four
April 22, 1990
Ted (that's what Professor Weem wants me
to call him) has an idea about bringing the Rising Sun into the world. He says
it's about time that it happened. He says that it can be done. It's just a
matter of finding the right people to do it. I got in trouble with my dorm
mother for being late last night, but I told Ted about it, and he said he'd
take care of it.
Jason pulled back, propping himself up on his elbows. "Hey," he said
gently. "What's wrong?"
"Get off of me," I told him, pushing at his chest.
He looked hurt, but he did what I asked. As soon as he sat up, I jumped off the
bed and crossed to the other side of the room.
"Azazel, what's wrong?" Jason said, following me.
"No," I said, "don't come over here."
He stopped. We stared at each other across the dorm room.
"What did I do?" Jason asked.
"I don't like it like that, and you know it," I said. "It's like
that time in the hotel, our first time, when you tried to . . ." When he
tried to what? When he scared me with his intensity. He scared me so much lately. So much.
"I thought you wanted to," Jason said, staring at the floor.
"No you didn't," I said. "You didn't even stop to see if I
wanted to. You just started to do it. And you didn't pay any attention to what
I wanted."
"I thought . . ."
"You scared me."
He went back to the bed and sat down. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."
I advanced on him, trembling with anger. "After
everything that's happened to me. After Toby, and Sutherland, and
everything, you should know that you can't just try to make me do it, just
because you want to."
"Jesus, Azazel. You make it sound like I was trying to rape you or
something."
"That's how it felt," I said.
He shook his head. "Don't say things like that. You know I would never
hurt you."
"Do I?" I demanded. "Do I know that? How many times have I
watched you hurt someone, Jason? How many people have I seen you
kill
?
And I'm supposed to believe you'll never do that to me?"
He stood up. "Yes. You are. You are, because I love you, and you love me.
And I hate to point it out, Azazel, but if I hadn't killed those people, you'd
be dead."
"I can take care of myself now. I don't need you to—"
"Right," said Jason, "you can. And while we're on the subject of
how many people I've killed, let's not forget that you've killed people too. Your own brothers. And your best friend."
I shuddered. "I did that because of you, Jason."
"And I did what I did because of you."
"Michaela Weem said that you would turn on me."
"She also said that she thought both of us were evil and needed to
die."
"She said that being close to you made me evil!" I returned.
"And what if—" I didn't finish. What was I saying here? Was I truly
accusing Jason of turning me into something evil? Was I saying that Michaela
Weem was right, that Jason was an abomination that was destroying everything he
touched? I didn't believe that. I didn't.
I went to Jason and touched his forearm. "I'm sorry," I said softly.
"I'm so sorry."
He looked into my eyes. "It is my fault. If I'd never met you, none of
this would have happened."
"It's not your fault," I said. "If I'd never met you, I'd only
be half-alive. I love you."
"I love you," he said, drawing me into his arms. I buried my face in
this chest. He kissed the top of my head. "I'd never hurt you. Please
believe me. I'm so sorry I scared you."
I looked up at
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