shivered as he put it back down and quenched the handfire with an impatient closing of his fist.
âSo, thatâs merasha .â
He glanced uneasily at Dhugal, who looked even more apprehensive than he himself felt, then made his gaze continue on around the table to Duncan, solemn and sympathetic, no doubt remembering his own most recent brush with the drug, to Nigel, who was trying hard not to transmit his dry-throated fear to the rest of them, full of dread even though he was not being asked to endure the testing, past the inscrutable-looking Arilan, and on, at last, to Morgan.
âI think I would have preferred some time to get used to the idea, Alaric,â he said softly, managing to keep most of the reproach out of his voice. âYou could have told me.â
âForgive me,â Morgan murmured. âI misjudged. We did talk about the advisability of doing thisâone night late in the fall, as I recall. Dhugal, you were there. But I suppose you put it out of mind when I was unable to procure any merasha on my own. The need is no less important for having been postponed, however. Itâs vital that you know what you could come up against and how to deal with it.â
âWhatâs the urgency?â
âBecause you arenât a child any more, my prince,â Morgan said a little sharply. âBecause in three daysâ time, youâll be knighted. For those who will never wear a crown, thatâs the official seal of manhood. It makes you fair game for those who might have spared you before, because of your youthâespecially as your talents become more widely known. When you go on progress, and especially when you meet the Torenthi legates in Cardosa, youâll be particularly at risk.â
âImplying that I havenât been for the past four years?â
âYouâve been lucky. You canât be sure your luck will hold. If Brion had known what youâll know, he might not have died. Thatâs my fault. I knew what merasha could do, at least in theory. I should have made certain he did, too.â
âDonât flatter yourself, Alaric,â Arilan said. âIt would have done no good in Brionâs case. Brion was never really comfortable with what he was and he never learned to utilize his powers the way he might have done. That isnât your fault; you were only half-trained yourself. No, there was something in Brionâs own makeup that held him back, that made him just a little too reluctant to use what powers he had. I think I know, but I maynât speak of it. Remember that I was his confessor for the last six years of his life.â
âHe spoke of these things to you?â Kelson asked.
âOnly peripherally and very rarely, at that. But why do you think he never taught you anything about the Haldane potential? Think back. Alaric and Duncan were the only ones who even tried to expose you to magic and esoteric philosophy.â
Kelson swallowed uncomfortably and reached out to touch a hesitant fingertip to the side of the leather flask.
âIfâif my father had known how to minimize the effects of the merasha , would that have saved him?â
As all eyes turned to Arilan in question, the Deryni bishop slowly shook his head.
âI canât answer that, Kelson. It might have done so. If heâd knownâif heâd been fighting it when I realized what was happeningâitâs possible. But not knowing, he definitely didnât have a chance. That I can say without reservation.â
âI see.â
Kelson picked up the flask and tipped it from side to side, with an answering gurgle of liquid still inside.
âVery well. Is there enough in here to do the job, or has it gone bad in four years?â
Nigel paled, and Morgan and Duncan exchanged startled glances, but Arilan only smiled slightly.
âI fear the wine has gone a little sour, and the merasha has lost its potency after so long, but I
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