thought I saw a tear in the corner of her eye. Finally, she sighed, and said: âBut he did see it again. One morning, it suddenly broke through; and the doctor and I got him into the wheelchair, and pushed him here to the window, so that it could shine full on his face; and an hour later, as if he was satisfied at last, he died, without a murmur, with his head against my shoulder.â
Her voice did not quaver. And yet something in the way she spoke, bringing the thoughts from the depths of her own being, and then gently replacing them there, as if they were her most cherished possessions, told me, beyond doubt, that this was a woman who had not merely served Turner, but had loved him in every sense. And I knew â however hard it might be to believe â that the man described by Lady Eastlake as the foremost genius of the day had lived and died in this mean little house, under an assumed name, as his housekeeperâs husband.
If I am honest, I have to say this realization prompted in me no other feeling for Mrs. Booth than deep pity, mingled with a genuine admiration. But what, I wondered, would Walter make of it? For the old widow, I was sure, he would share my sympathy and compassion; but would he view Turner himself in the same liberal spirit? Might the discovery of his subjectâs eccentricities (to put it as charitably as I can) make him lose interest in writing the
Life,
even before he has begun it?
It was therefore with some trepidation that I said:
âYou have been very helpful, Mrs. Booth. Would it be possible for me to call again with my brother, who, I know, would like to talk to you himself?â
And it was with relief, as well as disappointment, that I heard her reply:
âI mean no offence, Miss Halcombe, but Mr. Turnerâs memory is sacred to me. I do not like to talk about him; and, to speak plain, I have already said more than I meant to. So, while I shall always be pleased to see you, if you pass this way, I must ask thatyou do not bring your brother here; for I could tell him nothing more than I have told you today.â
VIII
Letter from Walter Hartright to Laura Hartright,
11th August, 185â
Brompton Grove,
Friday
My dearest love,
Your letter is by me as I write â I glance over, and read âI am so proud of you, Walterâ; and the words sting me like a slap, for I am sure that had you seen me today you would have been anything but proud. I am just returned from Ruskin, you see, and know not what to make of him, or of what he told me â but I fear
he
has made a fool of me, and I of myself, and the result is that I am cast down, and quite confused.
The start of my perplexity is the man himself. Strange, is it not, how a famous name may produce an image in our minds, composed of who knows what scraps and trifles and odds and ends, yet strong enough, in the absence of personal experience, to
be
that person for us? Before today, without in the least reflecting on it, I saw Ruskin as a wild shaggy creature lurking in the dark somewhere (his natural abode has always seemed a cave, or a dungeon), waiting to rush out without warning and impale some poor unsuspecting painter. Perhaps this idea arises partly from my own dread, whenever I exhibit, that he will single out something of mine for particular scorn; and partly from â do you remember it? â that verse in
Punch:
I paints and paints, and no complaints;
I sells before Iâm dry;
Then savage Ruskin sticks his tusk in
And nobody will buy.
And just think â had I had no occasion to meet him, this fancy might, through sheer force of habit, have finally established itself in my mind as the truth; and so been passed on by our grandchildren to their grandchildren as a lifelike portrait of the great man!
At all events, they, and I, will be spared that; for the revolution of the last twelve hours has entirely deposed all my preconceptions, and despatched them to an exile from which they will
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