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Book: Sex Tips for Straight Women From a Gay Man by Dan Anderson, Maggie Berman
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Authors: Dan Anderson, Maggie Berman
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video, right? We already told you that your VCR and monitor should be within prime viewing distance from the bed, and that a remote control is key. Prepare the videos in ascending order of sexiness. If it’s a guy you’ve known for a bit, just call him up, promise him beer or whatever, and tell him you want him to come over to watch some videos with you. If he asks what you’ve got, rattle off the list of titles. Be prepared for a moment of hesitation on the phone. Women don’t usually do this sort of thing. He may not believe you’re telling the truth, but tell him he’ll have to come over to find out for sure. He’ll be there before you can microwave the popcorn.
Suppose he’s a full-fledged boyfriend or husband. Get to a point in the evening where you’re both relaxed. You can have the videos all stacked up with one already in the VCR. Tell him you’ve prepared a surprise for the evening’s entertainment and ask him to join you on the bed. If you really want to make sure he gets the point and is having a good time, begin stroking Mr. Stiffy; he’ll be out to say hello before the opening credits are finished, and you won’t have to worry about another thing.
If the guy is someone you want to seduce after a date, your best bet is to have a naughty little video all queued up 126
Go for the Gold Ring!
and ready to go when you get home. Just invite him in for a drink and casually turn on the VCR, or better yet, hand him the remote. Things will fast-forward in no time, and you’ll scoop up one more gold ring while riding his carousel.
127
12
Hold the Action
Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man Granted, men are probably somewhat more adventurous when it comes to trying new sex things. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to seem wimpy, because they watch more videos, or because men just experiment more with their own bodies. Have you ever asked a guy if he’s tried to give himself a blow job?
We don’t know and we don’t care. But the fact is that from time to time, even the most willing and playful partners are confronted with frustrating situations, or with requests to participate in something that they’re just not into. No matter what, they don’t like it, they don’t want it and they’re just not going to do it. That’s what this chapter is all about.
GRACE UNDER PRESSURE
Recently, Philip, a very proper gay friend of ours, said that lots of guys in his crowd were getting into golden showers, and that he had actually tried it. For those uninitiated into the lingo, that means tinkling on your partner. We could no more imagine him doing this than visualize him walking down the street buck naked with a calla lily stuck up his rump. But our inquiring minds did want to know, so we asked him to tell us how he dealt with this request.
It seems as though, in the early throes of passion, Philip’s fashion-model partner asked him to pee on him. Our friend said that the guy was incredibly hot, and if it made him happy, it really turned Philip on to please someone else with something so simple. “How could you do that without cracking up?” we asked. While Danny couldn’t stop laughing, Maggie asked if they at least got into the tub first.
130
Hold the Action
But we had to grant Philip one thing. Even though we thought this maneuver mixed up form and function, it certainly didn’t hurt anyone. Moreover, our friend adhered to the cardinal rule: maintaining grace under pressure.
Being able to keep your wits about you, say no, and still be sexually alluring is one of the hardest things to do. Perhaps that’s why some gay men are pretty up-front about identifying themselves in personal ads as “tops” or “bottoms.” We generally don’t like the idea of categorizing oneself into some kind of posture from which you can never break free, but we do believe in setting your own limits. On the other hand, a lover’s request should be considered—at least for a split second.
Flexibility is
Suppose he’s a full-fledged boyfriend or husband. Get to a point in the evening where you’re both relaxed. You can have the videos all stacked up with one already in the VCR. Tell him you’ve prepared a surprise for the evening’s entertainment and ask him to join you on the bed. If you really want to make sure he gets the point and is having a good time, begin stroking Mr. Stiffy; he’ll be out to say hello before the opening credits are finished, and you won’t have to worry about another thing.
If the guy is someone you want to seduce after a date, your best bet is to have a naughty little video all queued up 126
Go for the Gold Ring!
and ready to go when you get home. Just invite him in for a drink and casually turn on the VCR, or better yet, hand him the remote. Things will fast-forward in no time, and you’ll scoop up one more gold ring while riding his carousel.
127
12
Hold the Action
Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man Granted, men are probably somewhat more adventurous when it comes to trying new sex things. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to seem wimpy, because they watch more videos, or because men just experiment more with their own bodies. Have you ever asked a guy if he’s tried to give himself a blow job?
We don’t know and we don’t care. But the fact is that from time to time, even the most willing and playful partners are confronted with frustrating situations, or with requests to participate in something that they’re just not into. No matter what, they don’t like it, they don’t want it and they’re just not going to do it. That’s what this chapter is all about.
GRACE UNDER PRESSURE
Recently, Philip, a very proper gay friend of ours, said that lots of guys in his crowd were getting into golden showers, and that he had actually tried it. For those uninitiated into the lingo, that means tinkling on your partner. We could no more imagine him doing this than visualize him walking down the street buck naked with a calla lily stuck up his rump. But our inquiring minds did want to know, so we asked him to tell us how he dealt with this request.
It seems as though, in the early throes of passion, Philip’s fashion-model partner asked him to pee on him. Our friend said that the guy was incredibly hot, and if it made him happy, it really turned Philip on to please someone else with something so simple. “How could you do that without cracking up?” we asked. While Danny couldn’t stop laughing, Maggie asked if they at least got into the tub first.
130
Hold the Action
But we had to grant Philip one thing. Even though we thought this maneuver mixed up form and function, it certainly didn’t hurt anyone. Moreover, our friend adhered to the cardinal rule: maintaining grace under pressure.
Being able to keep your wits about you, say no, and still be sexually alluring is one of the hardest things to do. Perhaps that’s why some gay men are pretty up-front about identifying themselves in personal ads as “tops” or “bottoms.” We generally don’t like the idea of categorizing oneself into some kind of posture from which you can never break free, but we do believe in setting your own limits. On the other hand, a lover’s request should be considered—at least for a split second.
Flexibility is
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