intensely drawn to a Dominant said things
about me that I didn’t want to believe. No matter how calmly and rationally Reed
presented them to me. If anything, that made it worse.
“I just… I can’t,” I forced out. “Not now. Not tonight.”
Not ever.
Chapter 5
“Why do you want to be a Dominatrix? Yesterday, you told me you want power. Why?”
Those golden eyes were regarding me seriously. Derek’s playful side was nowhere to
be found; the serious Dom was talking to me, and he was all business.
The sinking sensation in my stomach told me I didn’t like it when he turned that stern
stare on me. I felt as though I was sitting in judgment, and I didn’t want to be
found wanting. My damn penchant for perfection made me eager to provide an answer
that would win his approval.
People pleasing.
I shook off the thought. Dwelling on the confusing revelations about myself that
had arisen during my conversation with Reed the night before was too much to bear.
If I allowed myself to focus on that, I would fall apart. I would fail.
I wasn’t about to let that happen.
“Well, I have a high-stress job in a male-dominated profession. I feel like I have
to fight every day to be seen as an equal.” My admission was an honest one, even
if I was lying about being interested in becoming a Domme. “That’s why I want power
sexually.”
Derek raised his chin, his eyes slanting down at me where I stood beside him at the
bar. He considered me for a long moment, and I feared my answer hadn’t satisfied
him.
“Do you want power, or do you want release?” He finally asked.
My brow furrowed. “What do you mean? Wouldn’t stress release come from having power?”
His lips thinned, and I fought the urge to take a step back. He wasn’t angry, exactly.
Just… disappointed.
“Maybe,” he equivocated. “We’ll see.”
What the hell does that mean?
“Did I say something wrong?” The self-conscious question popped out before I could
stop it.
His lids narrowed infinitesimally before his lips quirked up at the corners. He had
obviously read something in my demeanor that pleased him.
“We’re good.” The serious mask that had so intimidated me melted away with his grin.
“Does this mean you want to train with me?”
His eyes flared gold at the mention of training. It sparked an answering flare of heat deep within me.
“Okay.” My response was soft, almost timid.
“ Okay? ” Derek repeated, his expression turning reproving. “I’m going to need a more firm
answer than that. If we start this, you have to be committed. Of course, you can
stop at any time if you’re truly uncomfortable, but know that I won’t give up easily.
I know you feel like you’re making yourself vulnerable by putting yourself in my hands,
and to an extent, that’s true.”
He touched his fingertips to my shoulder. When I didn’t pull away, he trailed them
inward, tracing the line of my delicate collarbone. My breath hitched in my throat,
and his smile twisted into something knowing and far too sexy for my own good.
“But I’ll be making myself vulnerable, too, in a way.” His lecturing tone turned
rougher, colored by lust. I wasn’t the only one affected by our physical contact.
“This won’t be a D/s relationship, but it will be more than a simple Top/bottom scene
in the club. It can be difficult to separate the physical from the emotional when
engaging in that kind of power exchange.” His smile turned lopsided. “Since I’m
not sure if you even like me as a person, I think we’re safe enough.”
“I… Um…” My brain was a fuzzy mess. All I could focus on was the intensity of his
remarkable eyes, the masculine perfection of the strong lines of his face, and the
scorching heat of his fingertips at the hollow of my throat. “I like you.”
It wasn’t a
about me that I didn’t want to believe. No matter how calmly and rationally Reed
presented them to me. If anything, that made it worse.
“I just… I can’t,” I forced out. “Not now. Not tonight.”
Not ever.
Chapter 5
“Why do you want to be a Dominatrix? Yesterday, you told me you want power. Why?”
Those golden eyes were regarding me seriously. Derek’s playful side was nowhere to
be found; the serious Dom was talking to me, and he was all business.
The sinking sensation in my stomach told me I didn’t like it when he turned that stern
stare on me. I felt as though I was sitting in judgment, and I didn’t want to be
found wanting. My damn penchant for perfection made me eager to provide an answer
that would win his approval.
People pleasing.
I shook off the thought. Dwelling on the confusing revelations about myself that
had arisen during my conversation with Reed the night before was too much to bear.
If I allowed myself to focus on that, I would fall apart. I would fail.
I wasn’t about to let that happen.
“Well, I have a high-stress job in a male-dominated profession. I feel like I have
to fight every day to be seen as an equal.” My admission was an honest one, even
if I was lying about being interested in becoming a Domme. “That’s why I want power
sexually.”
Derek raised his chin, his eyes slanting down at me where I stood beside him at the
bar. He considered me for a long moment, and I feared my answer hadn’t satisfied
him.
“Do you want power, or do you want release?” He finally asked.
My brow furrowed. “What do you mean? Wouldn’t stress release come from having power?”
His lips thinned, and I fought the urge to take a step back. He wasn’t angry, exactly.
Just… disappointed.
“Maybe,” he equivocated. “We’ll see.”
What the hell does that mean?
“Did I say something wrong?” The self-conscious question popped out before I could
stop it.
His lids narrowed infinitesimally before his lips quirked up at the corners. He had
obviously read something in my demeanor that pleased him.
“We’re good.” The serious mask that had so intimidated me melted away with his grin.
“Does this mean you want to train with me?”
His eyes flared gold at the mention of training. It sparked an answering flare of heat deep within me.
“Okay.” My response was soft, almost timid.
“ Okay? ” Derek repeated, his expression turning reproving. “I’m going to need a more firm
answer than that. If we start this, you have to be committed. Of course, you can
stop at any time if you’re truly uncomfortable, but know that I won’t give up easily.
I know you feel like you’re making yourself vulnerable by putting yourself in my hands,
and to an extent, that’s true.”
He touched his fingertips to my shoulder. When I didn’t pull away, he trailed them
inward, tracing the line of my delicate collarbone. My breath hitched in my throat,
and his smile twisted into something knowing and far too sexy for my own good.
“But I’ll be making myself vulnerable, too, in a way.” His lecturing tone turned
rougher, colored by lust. I wasn’t the only one affected by our physical contact.
“This won’t be a D/s relationship, but it will be more than a simple Top/bottom scene
in the club. It can be difficult to separate the physical from the emotional when
engaging in that kind of power exchange.” His smile turned lopsided. “Since I’m
not sure if you even like me as a person, I think we’re safe enough.”
“I… Um…” My brain was a fuzzy mess. All I could focus on was the intensity of his
remarkable eyes, the masculine perfection of the strong lines of his face, and the
scorching heat of his fingertips at the hollow of my throat. “I like you.”
It wasn’t a
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