my whole right side was practically numb from me falling on it so many times. But neither girl was crying anymore, and the happy expression on Devyn’s face when she came back down made it all worth the pain of faking falling a hundred times.
Devyn
“I got Riley,” I told Brody as I opened the back door of the car.
I’d taken the girls to the zoo once before, only a few short months ago, for their first time because I’d been going stir-crazy in the house alone with them all the time. I’d needed people, even if I didn’t know who they were.
I figured Brody might need something similar. A chance to be among people, but not really part of them. Where he could people-watch to his heart’s extent, but know that he was invisible to them. Unlike his well-meaning family, who would be so far up his ass at this point, he wouldn’t be able to walk straight.
“Do we really need all that stuff?” Brody asked, opening the back hatch. “Seems like we packed for a month long trip.”
“Definitely,” I told him. Obviously, he’d never taken the girls anywhere. You never packed light where kids were concerned.
What Brody needed most in my opinion was he needed to see the girls happy. He needed time with them, to learn how to act like a father. He’d missed their entire lives, and I wanted him to have everything he’d missed back. At least, what I could give him. He’d missed first words, first smiles, first steps. Those wouldn’t come again, but I could give him other things. I needed his happiness like I needed to breathe.
We walked through the entrance to the zoo, passing a folk rock band. The band had drawn a crowd, leaving the entrance packed with people. The result was instant on Brody. His face turned green and his eyes darted all over the place. When I’d suggested the zoo, I hadn’t thought about the crowds having a bad effect on him.
“You all right?” I asked him as I hoisted Riley into my arms. Jackie had clung to Brody since my shower that morning. I wasn’t sure what Brody had done but he’d obviously won Jackie over. And she was loving his height. I was average height, but Brody towered at least a foot over me. She could see the world from her spot in his arms.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just more people than I’d thought would be here on a weekday.” Brody had one arm underneath Jackie’s butt, and the other holding her under her armpit. She wasn’t complaining, but his entire body was tight, ready to snap at any moment.
It was busy, even for a Friday. The effect on Brody was staggering. His eyes tracked every possible movement, every sound in the area. A kid screamed nearby, and he jumped and whirled around to find the noise. Jackie giggled, liking the way Daddy moved, but he was definitely on edge. He was on sensory overload.
“Brody?” I tried to get his attention, but his eyes didn’t stop. I touched his arm gently, so I didn’t startle him. “Look at me.”
“I’m fine.” The answer was short, and not to be argued. He was flipping again,into the stranger right before my eyes, and I didn’t like it. I wanted my Brody, the joker, the one that smiled and laughed.
“Raffes!” Jackie demanded, pointing the way. It amazed me that a two year old could remember the way to the giraffes when she hadn’t been there in weeks.
Brody looked at the bundle of energy in his arms. She was practically bouncing. He looked confused, like he didn’t know what to do with her.
I squeezed his arm to reassure him. His eyes settled on my hand and followed my arm up where he met my eyes. “The giraffes… She wants to see the giraffes.”
“Oh,” he replied, frowning. “Which way are those?” Another kid behind him screamed, a wailing sound that signaled an oncoming tantrum. Brody’s body wound tight. He was going to lose it. I could see it in his movements, in the way his eyes darted around. Tremendous energy built behind the wall of his body.
“They’re that way.” I pointed to the
Devyn
“I got Riley,” I told Brody as I opened the back door of the car.
I’d taken the girls to the zoo once before, only a few short months ago, for their first time because I’d been going stir-crazy in the house alone with them all the time. I’d needed people, even if I didn’t know who they were.
I figured Brody might need something similar. A chance to be among people, but not really part of them. Where he could people-watch to his heart’s extent, but know that he was invisible to them. Unlike his well-meaning family, who would be so far up his ass at this point, he wouldn’t be able to walk straight.
“Do we really need all that stuff?” Brody asked, opening the back hatch. “Seems like we packed for a month long trip.”
“Definitely,” I told him. Obviously, he’d never taken the girls anywhere. You never packed light where kids were concerned.
What Brody needed most in my opinion was he needed to see the girls happy. He needed time with them, to learn how to act like a father. He’d missed their entire lives, and I wanted him to have everything he’d missed back. At least, what I could give him. He’d missed first words, first smiles, first steps. Those wouldn’t come again, but I could give him other things. I needed his happiness like I needed to breathe.
We walked through the entrance to the zoo, passing a folk rock band. The band had drawn a crowd, leaving the entrance packed with people. The result was instant on Brody. His face turned green and his eyes darted all over the place. When I’d suggested the zoo, I hadn’t thought about the crowds having a bad effect on him.
“You all right?” I asked him as I hoisted Riley into my arms. Jackie had clung to Brody since my shower that morning. I wasn’t sure what Brody had done but he’d obviously won Jackie over. And she was loving his height. I was average height, but Brody towered at least a foot over me. She could see the world from her spot in his arms.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just more people than I’d thought would be here on a weekday.” Brody had one arm underneath Jackie’s butt, and the other holding her under her armpit. She wasn’t complaining, but his entire body was tight, ready to snap at any moment.
It was busy, even for a Friday. The effect on Brody was staggering. His eyes tracked every possible movement, every sound in the area. A kid screamed nearby, and he jumped and whirled around to find the noise. Jackie giggled, liking the way Daddy moved, but he was definitely on edge. He was on sensory overload.
“Brody?” I tried to get his attention, but his eyes didn’t stop. I touched his arm gently, so I didn’t startle him. “Look at me.”
“I’m fine.” The answer was short, and not to be argued. He was flipping again,into the stranger right before my eyes, and I didn’t like it. I wanted my Brody, the joker, the one that smiled and laughed.
“Raffes!” Jackie demanded, pointing the way. It amazed me that a two year old could remember the way to the giraffes when she hadn’t been there in weeks.
Brody looked at the bundle of energy in his arms. She was practically bouncing. He looked confused, like he didn’t know what to do with her.
I squeezed his arm to reassure him. His eyes settled on my hand and followed my arm up where he met my eyes. “The giraffes… She wants to see the giraffes.”
“Oh,” he replied, frowning. “Which way are those?” Another kid behind him screamed, a wailing sound that signaled an oncoming tantrum. Brody’s body wound tight. He was going to lose it. I could see it in his movements, in the way his eyes darted around. Tremendous energy built behind the wall of his body.
“They’re that way.” I pointed to the
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