back on all four legs there was a thud that jolted me.
What had just happened? Despite the claim that this act wouldn’t constitute sex in the slightest, I felt dirty and violated. Windsor was rocking gently and panting, lost in the throes of some primal post-orgasmia. I became aware of a warm wetness seeping into my pants. I ran my finger alongthe edge of the seat. A viscous liquid with an oceanic scent was seeping from Windsor’s grain. He was soaked in it. I lunged from the seat and threw open the door of the sitting room.
“Monty, wait!” cried Windsor, but I had no time for it. I felt tears welling in my eyes and wanted nothing else but escape. I heard him scraping his way toward me. I refused to look, instead I hastened my exit. The tears were starting to flow and my eyes were burning. I slapped my palm against the elevator button and slipped inside when the doors opened. As they closed behind me, I broke down into a wretched sob. Being on a floor that didn’t exist, there were no buttons anywhere in the elevator. I slumped against the wall in defeat and slowly slid to the ground where I curled in a ball and heaved my despair. The doors opened once more. I glanced toward them and, through tear-burned eyes, saw Windsor. I felt powerless.
“Oh dear! Monty! I’m so, so sorry. Please can we talk about this? I had no idea.”
He rushed toward me until there was nothing but him. I scrunched my eyes shut, trying not to acknowledge the situation. Vomit was climbing my gullet, which refused to swallow down.
“Please speak to me, Monty. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
The vomit gushed from my mouth, sullying my suit and pooling beneath me. I felt as though my foot was being tugged at, a feeling I kicked against to no avail. With my eyes toward the ceiling, I was dragged back into Windsor’s impossible apartment.
“Go away,” I sobbed. “I want to be alone.”
But the dragging continued until I was once more in the belly of the beast. Then, as if my violation weren’t complete enough, my soiled clothes were stripped off and replaced by a blanket. I clutched it close and buried my head beneath it, determined not to let Windsor see me. The blanket was a cave I could seek refuge in.
“It’s okay, Monty. Just rest. Allow yourself to understand what has happened between us.”
The brute, who only moments prior had soiled me, was now absent in Windsor’s voice. He sounded just like the enchanting chair I had enjoyed the greatest night of my life with. I wanted it to stop. The strings of my heart were being plucked against my wishes. How could Windsor exist as two vastly different things at the one time? Where was this sex beast lurking when we were discussing our myriad fancies over dinner? I had an intuitive sense that the Windsor who swept me off my feet wasthe real Windsor. But then again… wasn’t the pervert an equally valid expression of his true self? Perhaps I was too simple-minded in my approach to others. I’ve always been very quick to paint others with an unkind brush.
My eyes were losing the ability to remain open and I began to give in. From outside the cocoon of my blanket, Windsor was singing Warrant songs in a hushed lullaby tone. His androgynous voice tiptoed into my ears, caressing me in a deep, satisfying place. One-by-one I felt my anxieties collapsing in exhausted heaps. Each new collapse freed me a little more. It had been a long day. A day unlike any I had ever experienced. My eyes could no longer open. My brain activity was little more than a standby hum. I was asleep.
…
I was roused awake by trilling insects. Windsor was by my side, which was a comforting feeling. Windsor represented a conflict that I had to overcome, but he was still a great source of comfort and warmth.
“Go back to sleep, Monty. It’s still so early.”
“What time is it?”
“Autumn. Go back to sleep.”
He looked majestic in the dull lamp light. Without thought, I clasped my hand around
What had just happened? Despite the claim that this act wouldn’t constitute sex in the slightest, I felt dirty and violated. Windsor was rocking gently and panting, lost in the throes of some primal post-orgasmia. I became aware of a warm wetness seeping into my pants. I ran my finger alongthe edge of the seat. A viscous liquid with an oceanic scent was seeping from Windsor’s grain. He was soaked in it. I lunged from the seat and threw open the door of the sitting room.
“Monty, wait!” cried Windsor, but I had no time for it. I felt tears welling in my eyes and wanted nothing else but escape. I heard him scraping his way toward me. I refused to look, instead I hastened my exit. The tears were starting to flow and my eyes were burning. I slapped my palm against the elevator button and slipped inside when the doors opened. As they closed behind me, I broke down into a wretched sob. Being on a floor that didn’t exist, there were no buttons anywhere in the elevator. I slumped against the wall in defeat and slowly slid to the ground where I curled in a ball and heaved my despair. The doors opened once more. I glanced toward them and, through tear-burned eyes, saw Windsor. I felt powerless.
“Oh dear! Monty! I’m so, so sorry. Please can we talk about this? I had no idea.”
He rushed toward me until there was nothing but him. I scrunched my eyes shut, trying not to acknowledge the situation. Vomit was climbing my gullet, which refused to swallow down.
“Please speak to me, Monty. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
The vomit gushed from my mouth, sullying my suit and pooling beneath me. I felt as though my foot was being tugged at, a feeling I kicked against to no avail. With my eyes toward the ceiling, I was dragged back into Windsor’s impossible apartment.
“Go away,” I sobbed. “I want to be alone.”
But the dragging continued until I was once more in the belly of the beast. Then, as if my violation weren’t complete enough, my soiled clothes were stripped off and replaced by a blanket. I clutched it close and buried my head beneath it, determined not to let Windsor see me. The blanket was a cave I could seek refuge in.
“It’s okay, Monty. Just rest. Allow yourself to understand what has happened between us.”
The brute, who only moments prior had soiled me, was now absent in Windsor’s voice. He sounded just like the enchanting chair I had enjoyed the greatest night of my life with. I wanted it to stop. The strings of my heart were being plucked against my wishes. How could Windsor exist as two vastly different things at the one time? Where was this sex beast lurking when we were discussing our myriad fancies over dinner? I had an intuitive sense that the Windsor who swept me off my feet wasthe real Windsor. But then again… wasn’t the pervert an equally valid expression of his true self? Perhaps I was too simple-minded in my approach to others. I’ve always been very quick to paint others with an unkind brush.
My eyes were losing the ability to remain open and I began to give in. From outside the cocoon of my blanket, Windsor was singing Warrant songs in a hushed lullaby tone. His androgynous voice tiptoed into my ears, caressing me in a deep, satisfying place. One-by-one I felt my anxieties collapsing in exhausted heaps. Each new collapse freed me a little more. It had been a long day. A day unlike any I had ever experienced. My eyes could no longer open. My brain activity was little more than a standby hum. I was asleep.
…
I was roused awake by trilling insects. Windsor was by my side, which was a comforting feeling. Windsor represented a conflict that I had to overcome, but he was still a great source of comfort and warmth.
“Go back to sleep, Monty. It’s still so early.”
“What time is it?”
“Autumn. Go back to sleep.”
He looked majestic in the dull lamp light. Without thought, I clasped my hand around
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