it off, by ignoring the guy, but inwardly she felt embarrassed. She had no interest in Corry Murphy beyond friendship. Corry only ever shot the Freak displeased looks and became reserved during the class period. He appeared to share Claire's feelings about their relationship. It was
just
friendship.
During their short walks in the hall, Claire enjoyed Corry's company. His conversation was reasonably intelligent for a teenage boy, not the hormone-ridden sex on the brain thoughts of most boys. But he also seemed more distracted and depressed than he did earlier in the year. Sure, he was always a bit withdrawn, but was he always so dejected? Did she simply not realize it until he opened up? Or did he seem to be sinking slower and slower into some form of depression?
Their topics as they strolled along the hallways of Brickerton High were always about his past. He and his brother use to do this, or he and his family used to go there. Not that Claire was turned off by it. The boy could spin quite an enthralling anecdote. But the wistfulness in his voice and his eyes made Claire aware of his increasing unhappiness.
She didn't know how to behave or to cheer him. So she just walked with him. And that seemed to be enough for the moment.
Chapter Eleven
Lil had the tact (or was it simply resentment?) to stay away from our parent's house until Thanksgiving dinner was ready to be served. I spent the day in the kitchen, helping Mom with the turkey and the sweet potatoes. Jacob made himself scarce of our company. We assumed that he wandered out to the garage with Dad. I still had yet to receive a proper hello from him. Not even eye contact.
Mom made her usual small talk, asking me about my job, if I'd gotten the leaky water pump fixed in my car,
if my boss was single yet.
I wished I had never taken my parents to my workplace when they came for their visit. Mom hadn't ceased to mention Graham since I introduced them. Even during their short meeting she tried to interrogate him about his relationship status, bound and determined that he was perfect for me. At the time, he was engaged to a lovely young woman who worked in the marketing department at that same pharmaceuticals company. Now he was married to her, and Mom was disappointed.
She couldn't understand that I felt no love loss because I had no one in my life. It's not like I was incapable of attracting a man. Sure, I kept my hair tied back most of the time, didn't wear makeup and wouldn't be caught dead sporting high heals. Still, I managed to attract a guy or two on occasion. I just couldn't be attracted back.
Mom refused to understand that I felt uncomfortable and sometimes even defensive when approached by those of the opposite sex. I tried to explain to her once again, how I felt about men after I had been raped. Other then understanding that I had been violated and duped into letting my guard down to a complete fiend, I couldn't find the right words to explain to her the anxiety that could be brought on by a man who showed me even the slightest signs of attraction.
Mom just rubbed my shoulder and told me that not all men were like Luke. I knew that. But I wasn't going to take my chances that the next guy I let in wouldn't be like him. She just rolled her eyes at me.
* * *
As I set the gravy boat down on the brown linen covered table, I heard the front door open. Then, it closed forcefully. Lil.
Things became edgy after her entrance into the house. I had an involuntary urge to remain quiet and non-provoking. It was Thanksgiving, after all, and I didn't want to cause my parents distress. Lil seemed to have the same idea, too. Finally, we had something in common.
Mom just looked back and forth between us, feeling grief from our lack of conversation. At the dinner table she tried to initiate several topics – all congenial – but beyond a few words said to please her, we just kept
just
friendship.
During their short walks in the hall, Claire enjoyed Corry's company. His conversation was reasonably intelligent for a teenage boy, not the hormone-ridden sex on the brain thoughts of most boys. But he also seemed more distracted and depressed than he did earlier in the year. Sure, he was always a bit withdrawn, but was he always so dejected? Did she simply not realize it until he opened up? Or did he seem to be sinking slower and slower into some form of depression?
Their topics as they strolled along the hallways of Brickerton High were always about his past. He and his brother use to do this, or he and his family used to go there. Not that Claire was turned off by it. The boy could spin quite an enthralling anecdote. But the wistfulness in his voice and his eyes made Claire aware of his increasing unhappiness.
She didn't know how to behave or to cheer him. So she just walked with him. And that seemed to be enough for the moment.
Chapter Eleven
Lil had the tact (or was it simply resentment?) to stay away from our parent's house until Thanksgiving dinner was ready to be served. I spent the day in the kitchen, helping Mom with the turkey and the sweet potatoes. Jacob made himself scarce of our company. We assumed that he wandered out to the garage with Dad. I still had yet to receive a proper hello from him. Not even eye contact.
Mom made her usual small talk, asking me about my job, if I'd gotten the leaky water pump fixed in my car,
if my boss was single yet.
I wished I had never taken my parents to my workplace when they came for their visit. Mom hadn't ceased to mention Graham since I introduced them. Even during their short meeting she tried to interrogate him about his relationship status, bound and determined that he was perfect for me. At the time, he was engaged to a lovely young woman who worked in the marketing department at that same pharmaceuticals company. Now he was married to her, and Mom was disappointed.
She couldn't understand that I felt no love loss because I had no one in my life. It's not like I was incapable of attracting a man. Sure, I kept my hair tied back most of the time, didn't wear makeup and wouldn't be caught dead sporting high heals. Still, I managed to attract a guy or two on occasion. I just couldn't be attracted back.
Mom refused to understand that I felt uncomfortable and sometimes even defensive when approached by those of the opposite sex. I tried to explain to her once again, how I felt about men after I had been raped. Other then understanding that I had been violated and duped into letting my guard down to a complete fiend, I couldn't find the right words to explain to her the anxiety that could be brought on by a man who showed me even the slightest signs of attraction.
Mom just rubbed my shoulder and told me that not all men were like Luke. I knew that. But I wasn't going to take my chances that the next guy I let in wouldn't be like him. She just rolled her eyes at me.
* * *
As I set the gravy boat down on the brown linen covered table, I heard the front door open. Then, it closed forcefully. Lil.
Things became edgy after her entrance into the house. I had an involuntary urge to remain quiet and non-provoking. It was Thanksgiving, after all, and I didn't want to cause my parents distress. Lil seemed to have the same idea, too. Finally, we had something in common.
Mom just looked back and forth between us, feeling grief from our lack of conversation. At the dinner table she tried to initiate several topics – all congenial – but beyond a few words said to please her, we just kept
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