bestseller? There will be a test. God” (that one in particular made him laugh), “Stop, drop, and roll does not work
in hell” (which he said was inspiring—giving warnings about impending fire and brimstone to an entire city), and then the
whole series of
God is like
… including the classic “GOD is like ALLSTATE.… You’re in good hands with Him.”
Even Lucy had laughed at some of the church signs. Dennis, meanwhile, just went off about them.
“Okay, so what’s that trying to say then?” he asked one day after passing a sign.
“Yes, I know.”
“You know what?” Dennis asked, smirking.
“That one was—interesting,” Lucy said.
“ ‘Interesting’?” Dennis had laughed at her. “ ‘Try Jesus. If you don’t like Him, the devil will always take you back.’ Well,
that’s comforting. I would love to know what they teach the kids in Sunday school.”
“Those signs are just meant to get people’s attention.”
“And tell us we’re on our way to hell. I already know that based on some of the things my book critics have said.”
“I picture some eighty-year-old janitor putting up those signs,” Lucy said with a gleam in her eyes. “One of those old-timers
who always has a saying and a quip.”
“Exactly,” Dennis said. “And I bet the pastors scratch their heads and go ‘Oh boy.’ But it’s Vernie’s job.”
“Vernie?” Lucy asked.
“Sure. Seems like he’d be a Vernie.”
Lucy shook her head. “No. I see him as a Walter.”
“This is why I don’t give you early drafts of my novels.”
She nudged him. “No, it’s because I don’t read your books. I don’t want nightmares.”
“‘You think it’s hot now.… God.’”
“Stop,” Lucy said.
“I think one morning the pastor should just read a list of all the church signs. I’d go to that service.”
Passing the church the morning after his online contact with Cillian, Dennis recalled a host of memories. And it felt like
brushing by a cactus.
This was how he grieved. He hadn’t wept bitterly after Lucy’s passing because they had known it was coming. He hadn’t been
prepared; one can never prepare to lose a loved one. But he had remained strong for Audrey. And he had immersed himself in
work. Or the illusion of work, however unproductive it might be.
But every now and then it came. The stinging barb of memory.
The way she laughed at his jokes, even if they were sometimes terrible. The way she talked. The way she lived her life.
Her name and her face and her touch and her life were all easily conjured up by the smallest or most simple or even the craziest
thing.
Like a church sign.
And today he remembered this as he passed. And he noted the sign: “God knows you well and loves you anyway.” Dennis thought
about that for a minute. So the implication was that God shouldn’t love him? Because what? Because he was such a sinner?
He suddenly wanted to punch whoever put up that sign. He didn’t want God’s love. In fact, he didn’t want anything to do with
God.
Just send her back to me if she happens to be around.
He looked over at the empty passenger seat in the large SUV. He wished Lucy were there. She would have said something uplifting
or encouraging. All he could think of right now were profanities.
Staring at the grooves outlined in the leather seat, Dennis sighed.
4.
It was three in the afternoon when Dennis saw him. The figure lurking behind his house.
He first saw the man by accident. Dennis was getting a glass of water in the kitchen and sorting through a stack of mail.
It seemed like Audrey’s mail was only increasing. The credit card companies sure wanted her. Occasionally a piece would come
for Lucy. He liked seeing mail come to her attention. It made it seem like she was still a part of his life in some way. Today
there was nothing but junk. And as he prepared a pile to throw into the garbage, he saw a towering block amble by his window.
Dennis ducked
Terry Spear
Rob Kitchin
Genaro González
Heather Long
Jennifer Crusie, Leah Wilson
Olympia Charbonneau
Angela Campbell
Gilbert L. Morris
Mark Bailey, Edward Hemingway
Crista McHugh