about Leafy; she’s stuck in my mind like a
song repeated on the radio for the millionth time.
My notebook will be with me wherever I go from now on. There’s one
note I stick to the front, making me remember that I have to open it every hour
of the day, to remind myself of my task.
When Jaret finally awakes, I tell him the news. I didn’t want to
wake him from his sleep last night, but the moment I say it he tells me he
already knew. The gang told him.
“I’m sorry about your brother, man,” he says, but he’s said this
five times now.
“Thanks, but that won’t make my brother come back. I want to join
the gang,” I say.
“What? Are you crazy?”
“I need to get my brother out.”
“There must be another way.”
“There isn’t. I already told you about the deal I made with the cop.
I have to join the gang. Period.”
“But they’re after your brother! Fuck, man, you could be in danger
too.”
“Well, we can tell them I’m there because I want to make up for him
being gone. We’ll tell them I’ll be better than he could ever be. Make them
think I don’t care about my brother.”
“And you think they’ll fall for that?”
“They have to. I will join them, no matter what.”
Jaret sighs and rubs his neck. “Dammit, Hunter. I promised your brother
I’d keep you out of this at all costs.”
“Screw that. He’s in jail. Anything goes. From now on, I’m going to
spend every waking minute figuring out what I can do to get to the top so I can
find out who the leader is.”
“Are you sure? There’s no going back on this. Once you’re in, you’re
in for life.”
“I know,” I say, speaking the words loud and clear so he knows I’m
serious.
“They could kill you.”
“I can fight.”
He sighs again. “Fine. I don’t think I can stop you either way.”
“Nope.”
“I’ll help you as long as you promise to listen to me.”
“Fine,” I snap.
“I’ll get a distributor to take you in, but it’s going to be hard
and painful. You should know.”
“You’re talking about the arena, right?”
Jaret swallows. “Yeah … I’m surprised your brother told you about
that. It’s fucking crazy.”
“I can handle crazy. Make the appointment. I’ll be there.”
“All right, all right,” he says, holding up his hands in defeat.
We settle on meeting after class and leave the dorm after agreeing.
When I finally find my way into class, it’s already started without
me. The teacher scolds me for being late. I don’t care about listening to him.
I’m already walking up the steps, avoiding everyone’s eyes because I know mine
are still red from yesterday. The moment I spot Leafy, I sit down right next to
her.
Somehow I feel like I can trust her. I hope she won’t ask me too
many questions about yesterday, or today for that matter. Plus, I should really
start focusing on my homework. She’s a nerd, so maybe I can help myself with
her work instead.
I know it’s wrong, but I don’t care. I need to succeed. This is the
only way.
But damn, I’m really tired. I yawn loudly before leaning on the
table and dropping my head between my arms. I feel so drowsy, I can’t even hear
the teacher anymore. All I hear is muffled noises that interrupt my attempt at
sleeping. It doesn’t matter, though. I’m already way into dreamland. Although
I’m vaguely aware of the snores my nose and mouth are producing, I don’t give a
rat’s ass.
Something pokes me in the side. Annoyed, I groan. Damn, why can’t I
just rest my head for a moment?
“Wake up.”
It’s Leafy. She’s whispering sweet words into my ears, and somehow
those two words get translated into ‘fuck me.’ Now my mind is really playing
tricks on me.
Air rushes through my mouth as I gulp in a breath. My head shoots up
from the table, and the first thing I see is her surprised face. She’s right in
front of me, frozen, her lips parted in a way that makes me want to kiss her.
She’s so fucking close I could. Holy
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