âYou could roll it, and we wouldnât be protected.â
She looked at him. âSomeoneâs got the shits.â
âTrucks have a high centre of gravity.â
She almost laughed. âWhat do you know about physics?â
He folded his arms and just stared at her without saying a word.
âYou told Mr Carter weâd pay him?â she asked.
âIt doesnât matter.â
âIt does.â
âYâ oughta see the photo of his place.â
âI donât care!â
She could handle having a local reputation as a stingy old misery guts whoâd driven her husband away, but when it came to music, to the Elder Conservatorium, to a world of hard-working no-nonsense Protestants (all of whom knew someone who knew someone who could make your life difficult; whose kids all went to one of four schools; who had strings of letters after their names, summer homes in the Hills and grand pianos that had been played by Rachmaninov), she didnât want any sort of reputation.
They drove on silently. Erwin started to grind his teeth and Madge could hear it above the engine. âStop it,â she said.
âI canât help it.â
âYou can. Dentists cost money.â
âSo what? Everything costs money â money, money, money.â
âWhich we havenât got.â
âWhy?â
She looked at him sternly. âYou know why.â
âI could leave school and get a job.â
âOver my dead body.â
âIt makes sense.â
âAnd where would you be in five yearsâ time?â
He didnât reply.
âGodâs Hill Road,â she whispered. âThe same little dump.â
âItâs not a dump. Dad worked hard â â
âWe could have a flat in London.â
âI donât want a flat in London. I want â¦â He trailed off.
âYouâre too young to know what you want,â Madge explained, slowing for an intersection.
âIâm fifteen.â
âA child. You have to trust me.â
âDad wouldâve let me decide.â
She stopped, depressed the clutch and fought with the gears. âExactly, thatâs why youâre better off â â
âStop it.â
He looked at her and decided. He took a wad of letters, done up with a piece of twine, and dumped them onto the dashboard.
âWhat are they?â Madge asked.
Erwin took a letter from the wad, opened it and started reading.
Dear Dad, Itâs been weekes and I miss you terrible â¦
He read until he got to the end of the letter.
Yours sincearlee, Declan Hergert.
Then he looked at her. âAnd you tell me to trust you.â
Madge bit her bottom lip. A car came up behind them and sounded its horn. She took a deep breath, found the gear and drove off. âWhere did you get them?â she asked.
âIn the shed, in a box.â
âI didnât know,â she replied.
âYou did.â
Silence. Galahs. A heavy thumping from the nearby cement works.
âI was protecting you from it,â she tried. âImagine what people would have said.â
âDo you care?â
âOf course.â
âHe couldâve been my brother. We couldâve â¦â
She pulled to the side of the road and braked hard. Then she turned to him and said, âIt couldâve ruined everything, and it will ⦠if you let it.â
He didnât respond.
âIs that what you want?â she asked. âEverything Iâve done for you? You want to be a grocer? Go on then, but donât blame me, later, when you hate your life.â
He sat thinking. He looked at the letter in his hand, the satchel, the crumpled Chopin sticking out of a corner.
âWeâll go see him shall we, now?â she asked.
Another long, empty silence.
âItâll all be down to you.â
She clenched her teeth.
âWell?â
Erwin bowed his
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