Read Online Diary of a Mummy Misfit #1 by Amanda Egan - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Amanda Egan
Tags: Humor, Humorous, Literature & Fiction, Contemporary Fiction, Contemporary Women, Women's Fiction, General Humor, Humor & Satire
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was a good idea. Bet he’s only agreed to it because he’s terrified Max will decide he wants an expensive entertainer after all and, at least this way, it’s a cheap done deal.
He even went out into the shed looking for bits of old wood and paint to make the theatre!
Finally gave up on him when he sat at the computer and started working on our ‘scripts’ - really thinking he’s taking this a bit too far. Doesn’t he realise how much I have on my plate?
Fenella thinks it’s hilarious and ‘terribly sweet’.
“Oh, I do hope we’re invited. Can’t wait to see what you come up with. What fun! Can we book you for Charlotte’s?”
Cut her short, as I wanted her to side with me not Ned. And I don’t want to take advance bookings for a poxy puppet show I have no desire to be part off.
Going to sulk.
Friday 13 th June AM
OK Friday the 13 th … what can you throw at me today? Aside from some puppy crap on the stairs and stubbing my toe on the monstrosity of a part-built puppet theatre that now appears to live in our hall?
Managed to get to and from nursery safely, only to find that the postman was waiting on the doorstep with a parcel.
Knew I hadn’t ordered anything so rushed inside to open it.
Two bloody dog puppets, ordered from some wanky website by Ned on Wednesday night when he was in full puppeteer mode.
Checked email to find he’d also sent my first draft of our script for ‘Dog Saves the World’. I play the part of Delilah - Dog’s assistant. There are about three acts and, after a quick, reluctant scanning, lots of slapstick and appropriately silly jokes. Privately admitted it was really rather good but bugger me if I’ll let on to Ned.
Next email was another from Ned asking me to sort out ‘the attached list of props’.
Have to hand it to him for trying but I refuse to get roped into this any more than necessary. I will not spend my morning running around on assistant stage manager’s duties. I have other more important things to do.
Am now off to paint my nails a suitably whorish colour for tomorrow night and then pluck my wayward eyebrows - have noticed they’re in a permanent frown.
PM
Ned came home with some yummy wine from a client. He also suggested a take-away - sure sign of a guilty conscience.
Max went to bed early, very excited about the impending puppet show. Have to admit a five year old’s enthusiasm does start to rub off and I could feel the first stirrings of excitement about the idea. After all, it is original. No other parents have come up with anything similar and then executed it - successfully or otherwise.
Damn Max and his cuteness and damn Ned’s client’s wine - it’s clearly fuddling my brain.
Saturday 14 th June AM
Murder mystery tonight.
We took Max swimming this morning and, for once, I didn’t need to care what my hair looked like at the end of it because I knew that this afternoon I’d be transformed. (I can always dream).
Don’t think I looked quite as meaty in my swimming costume - maybe the temporary abstinence has worked. I’ll find out tonight anyway, as I haven’t had a chance to test out the basque again all week. Here’s hoping.
Max, as usual after a swim, was ravenous so we stopped off for a pizza on the way home. Even had one myself - surely the pounds don’t pile on that quickly and I’ll still be semi-svelte for tonight?
Left Max & Ned at home up to boy’s things - raiding the kitchen cupboards for smelly foodstuffs to make a potion that would turn all men into super-heroes. With my growing ‘TO DO’ lists, I only hope they come up with one for women too.
PM
Back from hairdressers and all I can say is, “Thank God I took the car!” Think I’ve now got used to the added tones of copper and auburn but praise the Lord that the style itself is only temporary and no
He even went out into the shed looking for bits of old wood and paint to make the theatre!
Finally gave up on him when he sat at the computer and started working on our ‘scripts’ - really thinking he’s taking this a bit too far. Doesn’t he realise how much I have on my plate?
Fenella thinks it’s hilarious and ‘terribly sweet’.
“Oh, I do hope we’re invited. Can’t wait to see what you come up with. What fun! Can we book you for Charlotte’s?”
Cut her short, as I wanted her to side with me not Ned. And I don’t want to take advance bookings for a poxy puppet show I have no desire to be part off.
Going to sulk.
Friday 13 th June AM
OK Friday the 13 th … what can you throw at me today? Aside from some puppy crap on the stairs and stubbing my toe on the monstrosity of a part-built puppet theatre that now appears to live in our hall?
Managed to get to and from nursery safely, only to find that the postman was waiting on the doorstep with a parcel.
Knew I hadn’t ordered anything so rushed inside to open it.
Two bloody dog puppets, ordered from some wanky website by Ned on Wednesday night when he was in full puppeteer mode.
Checked email to find he’d also sent my first draft of our script for ‘Dog Saves the World’. I play the part of Delilah - Dog’s assistant. There are about three acts and, after a quick, reluctant scanning, lots of slapstick and appropriately silly jokes. Privately admitted it was really rather good but bugger me if I’ll let on to Ned.
Next email was another from Ned asking me to sort out ‘the attached list of props’.
Have to hand it to him for trying but I refuse to get roped into this any more than necessary. I will not spend my morning running around on assistant stage manager’s duties. I have other more important things to do.
Am now off to paint my nails a suitably whorish colour for tomorrow night and then pluck my wayward eyebrows - have noticed they’re in a permanent frown.
PM
Ned came home with some yummy wine from a client. He also suggested a take-away - sure sign of a guilty conscience.
Max went to bed early, very excited about the impending puppet show. Have to admit a five year old’s enthusiasm does start to rub off and I could feel the first stirrings of excitement about the idea. After all, it is original. No other parents have come up with anything similar and then executed it - successfully or otherwise.
Damn Max and his cuteness and damn Ned’s client’s wine - it’s clearly fuddling my brain.
Saturday 14 th June AM
Murder mystery tonight.
We took Max swimming this morning and, for once, I didn’t need to care what my hair looked like at the end of it because I knew that this afternoon I’d be transformed. (I can always dream).
Don’t think I looked quite as meaty in my swimming costume - maybe the temporary abstinence has worked. I’ll find out tonight anyway, as I haven’t had a chance to test out the basque again all week. Here’s hoping.
Max, as usual after a swim, was ravenous so we stopped off for a pizza on the way home. Even had one myself - surely the pounds don’t pile on that quickly and I’ll still be semi-svelte for tonight?
Left Max & Ned at home up to boy’s things - raiding the kitchen cupboards for smelly foodstuffs to make a potion that would turn all men into super-heroes. With my growing ‘TO DO’ lists, I only hope they come up with one for women too.
PM
Back from hairdressers and all I can say is, “Thank God I took the car!” Think I’ve now got used to the added tones of copper and auburn but praise the Lord that the style itself is only temporary and no
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