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Authors: Vickie McKeehan
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h e r e f or din n e r tho u g h, y ou c ho s e to g e t d r u n k. W e ll, I g e t it no w , Co r d. T h a nks f or l e tti n g us know w h er e J o r d a n a n d I f it into the g r a nd s c h e me of thin g s. Y ou are n ’ t g e tting b e tt e r . N o, y o u ’ r e h e a di n g to war d r o c k bottom a s fa st a s the w ino in the g utt e r a nd I w on ’ t st a nd ar ound wa t c hing it h a p p e n.”
Co r d si g h e d, r a n his cuffed h a nds th r ou g h his still - d a mp, s h ould e r l e n g th lo c ks. For the f i r st time he b e g a n to s e e the s er i ousn e ss of it a ll. “ L ook, I h a d f ive w hisk e y s. U p to a bout th re e hou r s a g o, I h a dn ’ t h a d a d r ink a ll wee k.”
“A nd w h e n y ou do y ou d on ’ t know w h e n to stop.” N i c k l e t out a si g h o f his o w n in fr ust ra tion. “ I ca r e a bout y o u, Co r d, so do e s J o r d a n. Y ou a nd I , w e’ ve b ee n th r ou g h a lot to g e th e r , som e thing w e s h are d w hile w e t ra i n e d, a nd on c e w e g ot to I r a q t h a t bond g ot st r o n g e r in war . B ut I n ee d y ou to und er st a nd y ou c a n ’ t t r ea t p e ople like cra p w h e r e v e r a nd w h e n e v e r y ou wa nt. W e und er st a nd y o u ’ ve h a d a r o u g h t w o y e a r s. B ut until y ou d e c ide w e are n ’ t the e n e m y …” N i c k ’ s voi ce d t ra il e d o f f a s h e st ar t e d to p ac e up a nd do w n the w ood e n po rc h.
“ I h a d a mom e n t a r y l a p s e in jud g m e nt a nd m a de a mist a k e . E v e r y o n e’ s ac ting a s thou g h…”
N i c k lost it th e n. “Ge tting d r unk isn ’ t the on l y is s ue a t pl a y h e r e . A nd y ou know it. J o r d a n a nd I un d er st a nd y o u ’ r e g r i e vi n g . A nd we ’ ve f o r m a l l y o f f ere d o u r s uppo r t b y g ivi n g y ou a job a nd a pl a c e to live to g e t y ou th r o u g h this r o u g h tim e , but y ou h a ve to d ec ide just how f a r do w nhill y ou wa nt to g o. Y ou h a ve to t a ke t h a t f i r st st e p to c h a nge y our li f e . W e ca n ’ t do it f or y o u. W e w on ’ t b a b y sit y ou a n y m o re , Co r d. T hink a bout it w hile y ou sp e nd the ni g ht in c oun t y lo c kup. Ge t y our a c t tog e th e r or don ’ t both e r c oming b a c k to P r omise Cove or the far m . ”
“ L e t ’ s g o.” E t h a n took Co r d b y t h e ar m a nd pus h e d him b ac k to war d the c r uis er . T o N i c k he s a id, “H e ’ ll g e t a h e ar i ng in the mo r ni n g , p r o b a b l y s e e t h e judge on c a ll f or the w e e k e nd. I ’ ll m a ke su r e th e y o r d e r him to t a lk to a p s y c hi a t r ist a s a p ar t of his r e l ea s e . U n til th e n w h a t should I do w ith hi m ? ”
“T h a t ’ s up to Co r d. L e t me know w h a t he d ec id e s.”
A s soon a s the poli c e c a r dis a pp ea r e d do w n the d r i v ew a y , J o r d a n st e pp e d o ut onto the po rc h b e side h e r husb a n d . S i x months p re g n a nt, d ue in J un e , J o r d a n re st e d h e r h ea d on N i c k ’ s should e r a nd r a n a h a nd ov e r h e r n i ce , r ound, b a b y bump. “T o u g h love is a l w a y s di f f i c ult.”
“ So y ou think I w a s too h ar d on him ? ”
“ I didn ’ t s a y th a t. Y ou ’ v e t r i e d e v e r y thing e ls e . W ho kno w s, m a y be h e’ ll c ome to his s e ns e s sitting in a c e ll. I t w on ’ t be the f i r st time t h ou g h. M a y b e w e should ’ ve g ott e n to u g h a lot soon er . Y ou sound e d a s if y ou we r e p r a c ti c ing f or w h e n w e h a ve t e e n a g e r s . ”
N i c k p a l e d. “ G od, I hope not.” H e pl a c e d a h a nd o v e r the one th a t re st e d on h e r b e l l y , r ubb e d g e nt l y in a c i r c ul a r motion a nd s a id, “ I ’ m n ot putting this little g u y o r H utton in j e op ar d y b y hopi n g Co r d f in a l l y s e e s the li g ht e no u g h to c h a ng e . H e ’ s a ti c
Co r d si g h e d, r a n his cuffed h a nds th r ou g h his still - d a mp, s h ould e r l e n g th lo c ks. For the f i r st time he b e g a n to s e e the s er i ousn e ss of it a ll. “ L ook, I h a d f ive w hisk e y s. U p to a bout th re e hou r s a g o, I h a dn ’ t h a d a d r ink a ll wee k.”
“A nd w h e n y ou do y ou d on ’ t know w h e n to stop.” N i c k l e t out a si g h o f his o w n in fr ust ra tion. “ I ca r e a bout y o u, Co r d, so do e s J o r d a n. Y ou a nd I , w e’ ve b ee n th r ou g h a lot to g e th e r , som e thing w e s h are d w hile w e t ra i n e d, a nd on c e w e g ot to I r a q t h a t bond g ot st r o n g e r in war . B ut I n ee d y ou to und er st a nd y ou c a n ’ t t r ea t p e ople like cra p w h e r e v e r a nd w h e n e v e r y ou wa nt. W e und er st a nd y o u ’ ve h a d a r o u g h t w o y e a r s. B ut until y ou d e c ide w e are n ’ t the e n e m y …” N i c k ’ s voi ce d t ra il e d o f f a s h e st ar t e d to p ac e up a nd do w n the w ood e n po rc h.
“ I h a d a mom e n t a r y l a p s e in jud g m e nt a nd m a de a mist a k e . E v e r y o n e’ s ac ting a s thou g h…”
N i c k lost it th e n. “Ge tting d r unk isn ’ t the on l y is s ue a t pl a y h e r e . A nd y ou know it. J o r d a n a nd I un d er st a nd y o u ’ r e g r i e vi n g . A nd we ’ ve f o r m a l l y o f f ere d o u r s uppo r t b y g ivi n g y ou a job a nd a pl a c e to live to g e t y ou th r o u g h this r o u g h tim e , but y ou h a ve to d ec ide just how f a r do w nhill y ou wa nt to g o. Y ou h a ve to t a ke t h a t f i r st st e p to c h a nge y our li f e . W e ca n ’ t do it f or y o u. W e w on ’ t b a b y sit y ou a n y m o re , Co r d. T hink a bout it w hile y ou sp e nd the ni g ht in c oun t y lo c kup. Ge t y our a c t tog e th e r or don ’ t both e r c oming b a c k to P r omise Cove or the far m . ”
“ L e t ’ s g o.” E t h a n took Co r d b y t h e ar m a nd pus h e d him b ac k to war d the c r uis er . T o N i c k he s a id, “H e ’ ll g e t a h e ar i ng in the mo r ni n g , p r o b a b l y s e e t h e judge on c a ll f or the w e e k e nd. I ’ ll m a ke su r e th e y o r d e r him to t a lk to a p s y c hi a t r ist a s a p ar t of his r e l ea s e . U n til th e n w h a t should I do w ith hi m ? ”
“T h a t ’ s up to Co r d. L e t me know w h a t he d ec id e s.”
A s soon a s the poli c e c a r dis a pp ea r e d do w n the d r i v ew a y , J o r d a n st e pp e d o ut onto the po rc h b e side h e r husb a n d . S i x months p re g n a nt, d ue in J un e , J o r d a n re st e d h e r h ea d on N i c k ’ s should e r a nd r a n a h a nd ov e r h e r n i ce , r ound, b a b y bump. “T o u g h love is a l w a y s di f f i c ult.”
“ So y ou think I w a s too h ar d on him ? ”
“ I didn ’ t s a y th a t. Y ou ’ v e t r i e d e v e r y thing e ls e . W ho kno w s, m a y be h e’ ll c ome to his s e ns e s sitting in a c e ll. I t w on ’ t be the f i r st time t h ou g h. M a y b e w e should ’ ve g ott e n to u g h a lot soon er . Y ou sound e d a s if y ou we r e p r a c ti c ing f or w h e n w e h a ve t e e n a g e r s . ”
N i c k p a l e d. “ G od, I hope not.” H e pl a c e d a h a nd o v e r the one th a t re st e d on h e r b e l l y , r ubb e d g e nt l y in a c i r c ul a r motion a nd s a id, “ I ’ m n ot putting this little g u y o r H utton in j e op ar d y b y hopi n g Co r d f in a l l y s e e s the li g ht e no u g h to c h a ng e . H e ’ s a ti c
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