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n y th a t he kn e w he d e s er v e d it. So the minute N i c k op e n e d t he door a nd E th a n ca me ar ound to the b ac k a nd pull e d him out of the c a r , Co r d p re p are d to g o into a pol og y mod e .
    H e s a w N i c k st e p outside onto the po rc h a nd c lo s e the fr ont door b e hind h i m. “ So r r y , N i c k. I … ”
    B ut N i c k didn ’ t l e t him f inish. “ S a ve it. B e ca use w e t a lk e d a bout this a time or t w o a l rea d y I ’ ll t e ll y ou st r a ight out. Y ou n ee d h e lp, Co r d. A pp a r e nt l y it ’ s mo r e th a n w h a t J o r d a n a nd I ca n g ive y ou. I t ’ s obvious w e a r e n ’ t in a position to p r ovide y ou w ith w h a t y ou n e e d. W e’ ve t r i e d but y ou s e e m c ont e nt in wa llo w ing in y our o w n mis e r y . Y ou told me y o u w er e g oi n g into M c C rea d y ’ s f or a c ouple of d r inks not to g e t d r un k . I told y ou w h e n y ou c a me to w o r k f or us I ’ d put up w ith a lot but I w o uldn ’ t tol era te y ou d r unk ar ound H utton or J o r d a n, th a t ’ s bottom lin e .”
    Co r d shi f t e d his fee t list e ning to N i c k ’ s a ss e ssm e n t. H e kn e w N i c k w ould be dis a ppoint e d in him but t his wa s a n e w w a y to g o. G uilt. “ I wa sn ’ t d r unk a r ound H utton or J o r d a n a nd y ou know it,” Co r d put in.
    “E th a n pull e d me out of M c C rea d y ’ s, I a dmit to th a t. I we nt f or a w a lk on the b eac h, d ec id e d to g o f or a s w im a nd sob e r up, w a nd e r e d a little too fa r out in the su rf . P e ople a r e m a king a b i g d ea l out of nothin g .”
    N i c k point e d his f ing e r a nd st a t e d, “ Ri g ht th e r e is the p r obl e m. Y ou r e a l l y t hink I b u y th a t. Ke e g a n F a nni n g pu l l e d y our a ss out of the b a y not mo r e th a n h a lf a n h our a g o. W ith the r ip tide y ou both c ould ’ v e d r o w n e d. Y ou think she w a nt e d to t a ke a n imp r omptu s w im in free z ing wa t e r ton i g ht? O f c ou r se y o u don ’ t think of a n y o n e but y o u r s e lf a nd h o w mis era ble y ou a re . Y ou ’r e d a mn e d lu c k y s h e wa s a r ound.”
    Co r d mov e d his should e r ar ound to show N i c k his m a n ac l e d w r ists. “E th a n ’ s lo c king me up ! ”
    “ B e ca u s e y ou h a d a g u n ! Y ou t r i e d to e nd it a ll! Y ou s ee m to f o r g e t, not th a t long a g o, I wa lk e d in y our sho e s. B u t d e spite a ll m y g uilt I n e v e r on c e t r i e d to kill m y s e l f . D o som e thing a bout it, Co r d. A g r e e to c ouns e ling or f ind a noth e r job.”
    “Y ou don ’ t m ea n th a t . ”
    “Yea h, I do. I t p a ins me but y ou g e t into g r i e f c o u ns e ling a nd a p r o g r a m like AA , m a y be re h a b or so h e lp me w e ’ r e don e . Y ou h a v e to wa nt to h e lp y ou r s e l f . M a y be J o r d a n a nd I ca n ’ t m a ke y ou g o. B ut a s y o u r e mpl o y e r , I ca n, a nd w ill. A s the o w n e r of T a g g e r t F ar ms, w e ha v e a li a bili t y if y ou h a ve a d r inking p r obl e m on the job a nd now it s ee ms y ou ’ r e sui c id a l.”
    “ Come on, N i c k, I do not d r ink on the job a nd y ou know it. T he Mill e r b o y wa nt e d to m a ke a f e w e x t r a bu c ks t oni g ht to t a ke his g i r l o v e r to S a nta C r uz n e x t wee k e nd. I g a v e him w o r k, the e v e ning milking a nd so m e oth e r c h o re s. H e g a ve m e a little fr e e time toni g ht. I w o r k m y a ss o f f du r i n g the we e k. A g u y ’ s g ot a r i g ht to a n e v e ni n g out w h e r e he ca n blow o f f a little st ea m on c e in a w hil e . ”
    “A nd y ou h ea d e d st ra i g h t to M c C rea d y ’ s, g ot d r u nk a nd th e n d ec i d e d to w h a t? E nd it a l l ? J o r d a n invit e d y ou to di n n e r toni g ht. R e m e m b er ? Y ou didn ’ t h a ve to g o a n y w h er e e x ce pt r i g ht h ere . I nst e a d of h ea di n g ov e r