Read Online Bite Me (Devlin Haskell 3) by Mike Faricy - Free Book Online
Authors: Mike Faricy
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Spot?”
“Yeah, I might have popped in for a moment .”
“Big surprise.”
“Had you been drinking?”
“Come on Timmy, suddenly it’s against the law to have a beer?
“I’ll put that down as a yes.”
“Did you attempt to grab the mail out of her truck?”
“It was my God damned letter, I wrote the thing, I put the stamp on the damned envelope, I was just…”
“Jesus, you dumb ass. To tell you the truth Dev, you got off easy, she didn’t press charges. What the Post Office does is going to be another matter.”
“Post Office?”
“Hey jackass, her superiors are going to look at this thing. I’m mean we had to get involved, and the paramedics, too. You’ll be looking at a bill from the city for the paramedic run, by the way. I think it comes in right around eight-seventy-five.”
“I gotta pay almost ten bucks to the city after I was assaulted?”
“No, idiot, eight hundred and seventy-five bucks.”
“For what?”
“For being an absolute jerk and wasting the city’s time and money. The term budget cuts mean anything to you? Christ, we’re broke just like every other city in the country and you want the tax payers to pick up the cost so you can run around town playing grab ass with women picking up the mail. I don’t think you’re going to find a lot of folks arguing your side of the case in this deal.”
Timmy flicked on the siren.
“What the hell is that for? You chasing some guy?” My eyes remained closed, my head continued to bounce.
“No just alerting your neighbors that you’re in the area and about to arrive home, compliments of the city. Hey by the way, you’ll be getting a bill for the ride. Not much I can do about it, sorry, sort of.”
M y eyes were still closed but I could hear he was enjoying every minute of my misfortune.
We slowed to a stop, sat there a good few seconds with the siren blaring.
“You about done?” I asked.
“Almost, let me help you out.”
I heard him get out of the squad car a moment later he opened my door.
“Watch your head , Dev. I’ll help you to you inside maybe keep your eyes closed in this sunlight.”
“Can you at least take th ese damn handcuffs off? Not like I’m a criminal or something.”
“Tell that to the Post Office,” he laughed.
“Come on, Timmy.”
“Na, Shelia will enjoy this part. Plus, let’s go, it’s time for your perp walk.” Then he led me by the elbow across my boulevard and up the front steps.
“Grass could do with a cutting,” he snickered.
“Shut up.”
“Mommy, what’s w rong with that man?” It was a little kid’s voice, from somewhere behind us.
“He was bad, honey. He’s always bad,” a woman said in a slightly louder tone. We went up the three steps to my porch, walked across to the front door.
“Here , give me my cuffs back,” Timmy said, taking my wrists.
“You ’re sure, I’m dangerous you know.”
“I can leave ‘em on, Dev. I got a couple of spare sets in the trunk.”
“Get ‘em off.”
“There we go, hey thanks , it’s been a pleasure. Oh, listen buddy, sorry bout this, but I had to cite you. I didn’t mention the assault, but you got a disorderly, here,” he said and slipped a citation into my hands.
“Disorderly? You mean you’re citing me for disorderly conduct?”
“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been dicking around with you for the past forty-five minutes. You had a team of paramedics attending to you. My sergeant swung by to check up. We had a back up squad initially. All that shit, at city expense, and what? I’m supposed to pat you on the back and tell you to have a nice day? I don’t think so. You’re lucky you’re not being booked right now.”
“Shit ,” I shouted.
“Mommy he said a bad word,” the brat from the sidewalk called out.
“Dev, don’t you go postal , I’ve got spray, too,” Timmy laughed.
Chapter Sixteen
In between spells stretched out on the couch I stood in the shower with my face about four inches from the
“Yeah, I might have popped in for a moment .”
“Big surprise.”
“Had you been drinking?”
“Come on Timmy, suddenly it’s against the law to have a beer?
“I’ll put that down as a yes.”
“Did you attempt to grab the mail out of her truck?”
“It was my God damned letter, I wrote the thing, I put the stamp on the damned envelope, I was just…”
“Jesus, you dumb ass. To tell you the truth Dev, you got off easy, she didn’t press charges. What the Post Office does is going to be another matter.”
“Post Office?”
“Hey jackass, her superiors are going to look at this thing. I’m mean we had to get involved, and the paramedics, too. You’ll be looking at a bill from the city for the paramedic run, by the way. I think it comes in right around eight-seventy-five.”
“I gotta pay almost ten bucks to the city after I was assaulted?”
“No, idiot, eight hundred and seventy-five bucks.”
“For what?”
“For being an absolute jerk and wasting the city’s time and money. The term budget cuts mean anything to you? Christ, we’re broke just like every other city in the country and you want the tax payers to pick up the cost so you can run around town playing grab ass with women picking up the mail. I don’t think you’re going to find a lot of folks arguing your side of the case in this deal.”
Timmy flicked on the siren.
“What the hell is that for? You chasing some guy?” My eyes remained closed, my head continued to bounce.
“No just alerting your neighbors that you’re in the area and about to arrive home, compliments of the city. Hey by the way, you’ll be getting a bill for the ride. Not much I can do about it, sorry, sort of.”
M y eyes were still closed but I could hear he was enjoying every minute of my misfortune.
We slowed to a stop, sat there a good few seconds with the siren blaring.
“You about done?” I asked.
“Almost, let me help you out.”
I heard him get out of the squad car a moment later he opened my door.
“Watch your head , Dev. I’ll help you to you inside maybe keep your eyes closed in this sunlight.”
“Can you at least take th ese damn handcuffs off? Not like I’m a criminal or something.”
“Tell that to the Post Office,” he laughed.
“Come on, Timmy.”
“Na, Shelia will enjoy this part. Plus, let’s go, it’s time for your perp walk.” Then he led me by the elbow across my boulevard and up the front steps.
“Grass could do with a cutting,” he snickered.
“Shut up.”
“Mommy, what’s w rong with that man?” It was a little kid’s voice, from somewhere behind us.
“He was bad, honey. He’s always bad,” a woman said in a slightly louder tone. We went up the three steps to my porch, walked across to the front door.
“Here , give me my cuffs back,” Timmy said, taking my wrists.
“You ’re sure, I’m dangerous you know.”
“I can leave ‘em on, Dev. I got a couple of spare sets in the trunk.”
“Get ‘em off.”
“There we go, hey thanks , it’s been a pleasure. Oh, listen buddy, sorry bout this, but I had to cite you. I didn’t mention the assault, but you got a disorderly, here,” he said and slipped a citation into my hands.
“Disorderly? You mean you’re citing me for disorderly conduct?”
“Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been dicking around with you for the past forty-five minutes. You had a team of paramedics attending to you. My sergeant swung by to check up. We had a back up squad initially. All that shit, at city expense, and what? I’m supposed to pat you on the back and tell you to have a nice day? I don’t think so. You’re lucky you’re not being booked right now.”
“Shit ,” I shouted.
“Mommy he said a bad word,” the brat from the sidewalk called out.
“Dev, don’t you go postal , I’ve got spray, too,” Timmy laughed.
Chapter Sixteen
In between spells stretched out on the couch I stood in the shower with my face about four inches from the
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