said goodbye. I enjoyed meeting her.â
Bear said, âOh, she said she wanted to come and say goodbye. She should be here in a minute. Well, weâll see you. You come and visit us. We mean it now.â Ruby put her arms around Jesse and said, âWe love youâ¦you and Damien will be in our prayers.â She felt so small in his arms. He thought he mustnât hug too tight or risk cracking a rib. But when she looked up into his eyes, he saw the power and strength. She smiled at him and walked after Bear who turned to take her hand.
Jesse waved. âAdios.â He turned back and started to load the horses. As he stepped out of the trailer to get the second horse, she was standing there.
A spine-thrill of delight went through him and then the thud of a brick hitting him in the chest. She stood hip-cocked in a Zack stance and then shifted her weight just exactly as he would. Then she made a totally girlish move completely her own as he walked up to her. He imagined her pale breasts behind the fresh white shirt below that apricot triangle of neck and tried to still the tremor he was sure she could see. Her lips shone like licked red candy and he wished she would just say goodbye and leave. No, he didnât. He wished she would stay forever. He wished he could grasp her hand and put her in the truck and take her home to Texas. The intoxicating brown fragrance of her mesmerized him. She reached out her hand. He took it. In that formal, extremely polite way that she had, she thanked him for the riding lesson and said how nice it was to have met him. She hadnât seen him poking a pistol barrel into the hollow of his cheek. She didnât know he had visualized his brain like a flung pizza splattered on a wall.
She stood there for a moment in silence, as fair as a lily, those smoky blue-gray eyes scanning his soul. A breeze lifted her hair and caressed her neck. He wished heâd been that breeze.
Her eyes fell to his hands that could uproot a tree, hands thatcould caress a womanâs softness.
Feeling like an oaf in a ballet class, he managed to tell her to âget out there and ride those horses yâall have. Youâve got a real good feel.â Of all the things in the world a person could say, this is what I come up with. Good. Real good. You shouldâve pulled the trigger.
The next thing he knew he was watching her walk away again, only this time he wouldnât be seeing her tomorrow.
20
A Long Ride Home
H e drove clean through Colorado and saw nothing. An oppressive melancholy had closed in like a dense fog. He ached with a crushing desire he had never felt before. The more he realized it was never to be satisfied, the deeper he despaired.
The more he tried to push her out of his mind, the more insistent she became. He imagined himself picking up the cell phone, telling her he loved her, turning around to go back and get her and taking her home to Texas to spend the rest of his life with her.
The polished brightness of twenty-four-hour fuel dispensing paraphernalia gleamed under the lights as he tended to the needs of the truck. He bought a bag of pretzels, a chocolate bar, a Coke, a coffee, and a ready-made sandwich purporting to be turkey.
He stopped at Dalhart to let the horses out and shut his eyes. A little after three in the morning, he pulled out of the rodeo grounds and aimed for Lubbock. He reached into the glove box and took out a small, antique leather box. Embossed in silver, its lid bore apastoral scene of lovers on a hillside near a castle. Jesseâs mother, Francis, had told him it was her motherâs, made in England. Now it was skimming over a Texas highway and carrying in it a pure white wing feather from a Texas angel. Jesse flipped the lid and set the box on the seat, took out the feather and held it up to his cheek. It was the softest, most delicate thing, lighter than a breeze and soft as a flower scent. He moved it slowly over his face to tickle
Bear said, âOh, she said she wanted to come and say goodbye. She should be here in a minute. Well, weâll see you. You come and visit us. We mean it now.â Ruby put her arms around Jesse and said, âWe love youâ¦you and Damien will be in our prayers.â She felt so small in his arms. He thought he mustnât hug too tight or risk cracking a rib. But when she looked up into his eyes, he saw the power and strength. She smiled at him and walked after Bear who turned to take her hand.
Jesse waved. âAdios.â He turned back and started to load the horses. As he stepped out of the trailer to get the second horse, she was standing there.
A spine-thrill of delight went through him and then the thud of a brick hitting him in the chest. She stood hip-cocked in a Zack stance and then shifted her weight just exactly as he would. Then she made a totally girlish move completely her own as he walked up to her. He imagined her pale breasts behind the fresh white shirt below that apricot triangle of neck and tried to still the tremor he was sure she could see. Her lips shone like licked red candy and he wished she would just say goodbye and leave. No, he didnât. He wished she would stay forever. He wished he could grasp her hand and put her in the truck and take her home to Texas. The intoxicating brown fragrance of her mesmerized him. She reached out her hand. He took it. In that formal, extremely polite way that she had, she thanked him for the riding lesson and said how nice it was to have met him. She hadnât seen him poking a pistol barrel into the hollow of his cheek. She didnât know he had visualized his brain like a flung pizza splattered on a wall.
She stood there for a moment in silence, as fair as a lily, those smoky blue-gray eyes scanning his soul. A breeze lifted her hair and caressed her neck. He wished heâd been that breeze.
Her eyes fell to his hands that could uproot a tree, hands thatcould caress a womanâs softness.
Feeling like an oaf in a ballet class, he managed to tell her to âget out there and ride those horses yâall have. Youâve got a real good feel.â Of all the things in the world a person could say, this is what I come up with. Good. Real good. You shouldâve pulled the trigger.
The next thing he knew he was watching her walk away again, only this time he wouldnât be seeing her tomorrow.
20
A Long Ride Home
H e drove clean through Colorado and saw nothing. An oppressive melancholy had closed in like a dense fog. He ached with a crushing desire he had never felt before. The more he realized it was never to be satisfied, the deeper he despaired.
The more he tried to push her out of his mind, the more insistent she became. He imagined himself picking up the cell phone, telling her he loved her, turning around to go back and get her and taking her home to Texas to spend the rest of his life with her.
The polished brightness of twenty-four-hour fuel dispensing paraphernalia gleamed under the lights as he tended to the needs of the truck. He bought a bag of pretzels, a chocolate bar, a Coke, a coffee, and a ready-made sandwich purporting to be turkey.
He stopped at Dalhart to let the horses out and shut his eyes. A little after three in the morning, he pulled out of the rodeo grounds and aimed for Lubbock. He reached into the glove box and took out a small, antique leather box. Embossed in silver, its lid bore apastoral scene of lovers on a hillside near a castle. Jesseâs mother, Francis, had told him it was her motherâs, made in England. Now it was skimming over a Texas highway and carrying in it a pure white wing feather from a Texas angel. Jesse flipped the lid and set the box on the seat, took out the feather and held it up to his cheek. It was the softest, most delicate thing, lighter than a breeze and soft as a flower scent. He moved it slowly over his face to tickle
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