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Authors: Fiona Harper
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wanted for nothing, been to the best schools, had everything handed to her on a silver platter. And she’d seemed happy enough. Why would anyone have thought she’d needed anything more?
Jennie realised that this was the first time she’d ever had the courage to ask why. Why were other things, other people, always moreimportant than her? Her normal tactic in this kind of situation had been to persuade her loved ones to move her up their list of priorities by being the most dazzling creature possible. And if that hadn’t worked, she’d got just naughty enough to bump herself up to the number one slot.
It was odd. She thought that if she’d ever let the words out to match what she felt, she’d crumple under the weight of them, but it wasn’t like that. She felt strangely light, almost ready to hear his answer—no matter what it was.
She met his gaze.
He didn’t blink, just pulled his shoulders back and heaved in some air. He kept his eyes on her as he stood up and walked round the coffee table to sit opposite her on the sofa. This obviously wasn’t going to be a quick chat.
‘The history Becky and I had. It’s complicated.’
She raised her eyebrows and mirrored his own response back to him. ‘Explain it to me, then.’
His eyes glazed slightly, and she guessed he was cataloguing memories, trying to find the best place to start. Knowing Alex’s ordered brain, he’d start at the beginning, lay a foundation, before he got on to the juicy stuff.She almost wanted to tell him to forget all of that, to put her out of her misery. There was a shift in his features, and she knew he’d found his ‘in’.
‘I grew up in a happy home,’ he said.
Okay, if they were going to go that far back, this was going to take all night. She didn’t say that, though.
‘My parents wanted more children after they had me and my brother, but it just wasn’t to be… By the time I’d started at university and Chris was studying for his A levels, I think my mother looked at her rapidly shrinking nest and decided to do something about it. So Mum and Dad decided to foster.’
She sat up straighter. He’d never mentioned that before, even though she’d heard plenty of stories about the happy-go-lucky Chris.
‘What has this got to do with your first—’ she couldn’t quite bring herself to use the same title she now occupied ‘—with Becky?’
He took a moment before he carried on. ‘Initially, my parents offered emergency foster care—children who needed a safe place to stay immediately, until they could be found something more permanent—but then they were asked to consider taking in a teenage girl.’
Her jaw loosened slightly. ‘You mean that girl was.’
He nodded. ‘I was away at university most of the time she was there, but slowly I got to know her. I can still picture her now, the way she looked the first day I met her. She was sitting in my parents’ kitchen, drinking lemonade. Fifteen years old, but nothing like the girls I’d known at that age. Dressed as if she was about to walk the streets, but so thin her tight skirt was baggy and shapeless. She looked frightened out of her wits, as if she’d run if I made any sudden move.’
Jennie could imagine it. A feral young woman, twitchy and skittish, large eyes with huge dark circles underneath. And in her mind’s eye she could see a young Alex, wanting to reach out to the girl to save her from all the awful things that had happened to her. Because that was what Alex was like, that was why he did the job he did. He felt the need to make things right, to protect people.
She tried hard not to listen to the question ringing in her ears, the one that prodded her to think about why he hadn’t felt that same need to shield his new wife, why he had left her to cope on her own.
Thankfully, Alex distracted her with the rest of Becky’s story. He didn’t think much of his ex’s family, that was for sure. From what he told her, the whole lot of
Jennie realised that this was the first time she’d ever had the courage to ask why. Why were other things, other people, always moreimportant than her? Her normal tactic in this kind of situation had been to persuade her loved ones to move her up their list of priorities by being the most dazzling creature possible. And if that hadn’t worked, she’d got just naughty enough to bump herself up to the number one slot.
It was odd. She thought that if she’d ever let the words out to match what she felt, she’d crumple under the weight of them, but it wasn’t like that. She felt strangely light, almost ready to hear his answer—no matter what it was.
She met his gaze.
He didn’t blink, just pulled his shoulders back and heaved in some air. He kept his eyes on her as he stood up and walked round the coffee table to sit opposite her on the sofa. This obviously wasn’t going to be a quick chat.
‘The history Becky and I had. It’s complicated.’
She raised her eyebrows and mirrored his own response back to him. ‘Explain it to me, then.’
His eyes glazed slightly, and she guessed he was cataloguing memories, trying to find the best place to start. Knowing Alex’s ordered brain, he’d start at the beginning, lay a foundation, before he got on to the juicy stuff.She almost wanted to tell him to forget all of that, to put her out of her misery. There was a shift in his features, and she knew he’d found his ‘in’.
‘I grew up in a happy home,’ he said.
Okay, if they were going to go that far back, this was going to take all night. She didn’t say that, though.
‘My parents wanted more children after they had me and my brother, but it just wasn’t to be… By the time I’d started at university and Chris was studying for his A levels, I think my mother looked at her rapidly shrinking nest and decided to do something about it. So Mum and Dad decided to foster.’
She sat up straighter. He’d never mentioned that before, even though she’d heard plenty of stories about the happy-go-lucky Chris.
‘What has this got to do with your first—’ she couldn’t quite bring herself to use the same title she now occupied ‘—with Becky?’
He took a moment before he carried on. ‘Initially, my parents offered emergency foster care—children who needed a safe place to stay immediately, until they could be found something more permanent—but then they were asked to consider taking in a teenage girl.’
Her jaw loosened slightly. ‘You mean that girl was.’
He nodded. ‘I was away at university most of the time she was there, but slowly I got to know her. I can still picture her now, the way she looked the first day I met her. She was sitting in my parents’ kitchen, drinking lemonade. Fifteen years old, but nothing like the girls I’d known at that age. Dressed as if she was about to walk the streets, but so thin her tight skirt was baggy and shapeless. She looked frightened out of her wits, as if she’d run if I made any sudden move.’
Jennie could imagine it. A feral young woman, twitchy and skittish, large eyes with huge dark circles underneath. And in her mind’s eye she could see a young Alex, wanting to reach out to the girl to save her from all the awful things that had happened to her. Because that was what Alex was like, that was why he did the job he did. He felt the need to make things right, to protect people.
She tried hard not to listen to the question ringing in her ears, the one that prodded her to think about why he hadn’t felt that same need to shield his new wife, why he had left her to cope on her own.
Thankfully, Alex distracted her with the rest of Becky’s story. He didn’t think much of his ex’s family, that was for sure. From what he told her, the whole lot of
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