Read Online This Is So Not Happening by Kieran Scott - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Kieran Scott
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‘Oh, yeah, just deal with it. Get rid of it or whatever.’” My throat nearly closed over the words “get rid of it.” “But when it’s reality …”
“It’s not that easy,” Ally finished for me.
I swallowed hard. I couldn’t believe we were actually talkingabout this, but I was also so relieved we were talking about this. I’d been dying to spill it to her, but terrified she’d shut me down. I should’ve known better. I should’ve trusted her. “No, it’s not.”
“So … adoption?” Ally said.
“Yeah, but then she actually has to be pregnant. Like, in front of everyone. That’s how she put it, anyway.” I covered my face with my hands and groaned. “There’s no answer.”
“No good one, anyway,” Ally said. She sighed. “You just need to be there for her. Whatever she needs. That’s what I’d want if I were her.”
I couldn’t believe she’d just said that. I couldn’t believe she didn’t just hate us both. We sat there, quietly, for a long time. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say to Chloe, what I actually wanted. I just knew I was so glad, so grateful, to have Ally right then. I slowly reached out and curled my fingers around hers.
“What would you do if it were me?” she asked, her voice practically a whisper. “Do you think you’d feel different about it?”
My breath caught in my throat. I’d marry you was the first thought that popped into my mind. And it was true, I realized suddenly. I would marry her. I would take care of her. I would do whatever it took to protect her. But what was I, insane? I was seventeen. I couldn’t say that out loud. I sat up. Ally and I locked eyes. I could feel the heat coming through her fingers.
“I feel like ice cream,” I said suddenly. “Wanna get some ice cream?”
“Totally,” she said.
And we were out of there like the room was on fire.
ally
About halfway through my soliloquy on Monday afternoon, I finally stopped feeling like I had to pee, and started tuning in to what I was saying. Up until about five minutes before I was called in to audition for the play, I was questioning my sanity. I hadn’t acted since the spring musical in Baltimore my sophomore year, and there were a lot of good actors at Orchard Hill High, vying for only a few good roles. Why even bother?
But then some random chick I’d never met had told me to break a leg, and Corey Hinds from my Spanish class had flashed me a thumbs-up from the wings, and I remembered why I’d decided to do this in the first place. I needed a distraction. I needed to be able to hang out somewhere where people barely knew me and definitely didn’t know Jake. I needed something to do that he had nothing to do with. Faith was the only Crestie in drama club. It didn’t get much safer than here.
So here I was.
Besides, if I had to make a speech at my mother’s wedding, I might as well get used to performing in front of complete strangers again.
I finished my performance and stood there for a moment, the spotlight frying my face as I squinted out at Mrs. Thompson, the houndstooth-clad drama teacher.
“Very good, Ally,” she said. “Thank you. We’ll be posting callbacks tomorrow. Can you send Faith Kirkpatrick in next, please?”
“Sure. Thanks!” I said brightly.
I skipped down the stage steps and into the auditorium, experiencing that particular light-headed high I always getafter finishing with something I’d dreaded. When I shoved open the heavy auditorium doors, the hopefuls in the lobby looked up expectantly. Faith was walking a tight circle in the center of the space, her mouth moving in silent recital.
“Faith. You’re up,” I said, hooking a thumb over my shoulder in a dorky way I never would have done if not for the high.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
“Good, I think. Who knows?”
“Oh, I always know,” Faith said haughtily, flicking her blond ponytail. “Mrs. Thompson only ever smiles if you suck, because she, like, feels
“It’s not that easy,” Ally finished for me.
I swallowed hard. I couldn’t believe we were actually talkingabout this, but I was also so relieved we were talking about this. I’d been dying to spill it to her, but terrified she’d shut me down. I should’ve known better. I should’ve trusted her. “No, it’s not.”
“So … adoption?” Ally said.
“Yeah, but then she actually has to be pregnant. Like, in front of everyone. That’s how she put it, anyway.” I covered my face with my hands and groaned. “There’s no answer.”
“No good one, anyway,” Ally said. She sighed. “You just need to be there for her. Whatever she needs. That’s what I’d want if I were her.”
I couldn’t believe she’d just said that. I couldn’t believe she didn’t just hate us both. We sat there, quietly, for a long time. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say to Chloe, what I actually wanted. I just knew I was so glad, so grateful, to have Ally right then. I slowly reached out and curled my fingers around hers.
“What would you do if it were me?” she asked, her voice practically a whisper. “Do you think you’d feel different about it?”
My breath caught in my throat. I’d marry you was the first thought that popped into my mind. And it was true, I realized suddenly. I would marry her. I would take care of her. I would do whatever it took to protect her. But what was I, insane? I was seventeen. I couldn’t say that out loud. I sat up. Ally and I locked eyes. I could feel the heat coming through her fingers.
“I feel like ice cream,” I said suddenly. “Wanna get some ice cream?”
“Totally,” she said.
And we were out of there like the room was on fire.
ally
About halfway through my soliloquy on Monday afternoon, I finally stopped feeling like I had to pee, and started tuning in to what I was saying. Up until about five minutes before I was called in to audition for the play, I was questioning my sanity. I hadn’t acted since the spring musical in Baltimore my sophomore year, and there were a lot of good actors at Orchard Hill High, vying for only a few good roles. Why even bother?
But then some random chick I’d never met had told me to break a leg, and Corey Hinds from my Spanish class had flashed me a thumbs-up from the wings, and I remembered why I’d decided to do this in the first place. I needed a distraction. I needed to be able to hang out somewhere where people barely knew me and definitely didn’t know Jake. I needed something to do that he had nothing to do with. Faith was the only Crestie in drama club. It didn’t get much safer than here.
So here I was.
Besides, if I had to make a speech at my mother’s wedding, I might as well get used to performing in front of complete strangers again.
I finished my performance and stood there for a moment, the spotlight frying my face as I squinted out at Mrs. Thompson, the houndstooth-clad drama teacher.
“Very good, Ally,” she said. “Thank you. We’ll be posting callbacks tomorrow. Can you send Faith Kirkpatrick in next, please?”
“Sure. Thanks!” I said brightly.
I skipped down the stage steps and into the auditorium, experiencing that particular light-headed high I always getafter finishing with something I’d dreaded. When I shoved open the heavy auditorium doors, the hopefuls in the lobby looked up expectantly. Faith was walking a tight circle in the center of the space, her mouth moving in silent recital.
“Faith. You’re up,” I said, hooking a thumb over my shoulder in a dorky way I never would have done if not for the high.
“How’d it go?” she asked.
“Good, I think. Who knows?”
“Oh, I always know,” Faith said haughtily, flicking her blond ponytail. “Mrs. Thompson only ever smiles if you suck, because she, like, feels
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