Read Online The Tamarind Seed by Evelyn Anthony - Free Book Online Page B

movement which will one day be accepted by the whole world.’
    â€˜God forbid,’ she said.
    â€˜He can’t. He doesn’t exist. Don’t interrupt me, I am playing at Capitalism and counting my assets. I am healthy, and I can have girls when I want. Except for you. But I don’t want girls, I don’t want to see my wife, and I don’t feel anything about the Socialist Revolution any more. What do I do about this?’
    She couldn’t think of anything to say to him for a moment. The moon was free of cloud and they could see each other clearly in the white translucent light. He looked harsh, and tense, his mouth pulled to the side. Without any reason, Judith was cold. She realised that the cause, on that sort of tropical night, was a sense of physical fear.
    â€˜What are you trying to say to me.’ She was whispering, as if the night watchman were still walking near.
    â€˜I don’t know,’ Sverdlov said. ‘I’m asking you. What do I do now?’
    â€˜You needed a holiday.’ It sounded a futile thing to say. ‘Perhaps you’ve been overworking. Don’t you feel any different now?’
    â€˜Yes.’ He was smoking again; he had forgotten to give her one. She had developed a taste of his strong cigarettes. ‘Yes. I feel more relaxed. I feel I could stay here indefinitely, with nothing more important to do than spend the time with you. I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to find a letter from my wife, telling me what a good thing the Czechoslovakians have decided to try all their government officials for treason, and what a mistake we made not to execute Dubjcek right in the beginning …’
    â€˜Does she really think that.’ Judith was horrified.
    â€˜That is how she thinks,’ Sverdlov said. ‘That is how I used to think, but for different reasons. Now I can’t accept those reasons either. I’m not even ambitious any more.’
    â€˜Can’t you apply to go back to the Regular Army?’ she asked.
    He glanced sideways at her. ‘That is the last thing I can do.’
    â€˜I can’t help you,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what the answer is. I suppose you’ll have to adjust to it. It probably won’t last long. As I said, you’re overworked and you needed a break. Stay on here till I go home. Can’t you do that?’
    â€˜Yes.’ She felt the strain go out of him. The hand holding her palm had been gripping hard; now the fingers moved, his thumb began its sensual exploration. ‘Yes, I can stay if I want to! we can leave on the same day … I thought we might go to the harbour again tomorrow. I would like to take a trip across to one of the other islands.’
    â€˜It’d take days,’ Judith said. ‘Grenada’s the nearest. You can fly there in an hour.’
    â€˜You can fly to Brazil in two,’ he said. ‘Do you want to swim before you go to bed?’
    â€˜Not tonight.’ Judith stood up and they moved back inside towards the door. He opened it for her and she stepped outside.
    â€˜It’s been a long evening. Disappointing for you too,’ she said.
    â€˜Good for both of us.’ Sverdlov held out his hand. When she took it he laid the other on her shoulder. ‘I’m surprised by one thing. Why haven’t you suggested that I come over to your side? Wouldn’t the West want me?’
    â€˜Probably.’ Judith looked at him. ‘But it just wouldn’t work for you. I know it wouldn’t.’
    â€˜I know it too,’ he said. He ran his hand up from her shoulder round the back of her neck, under her hair. I believe you are a neutral. You don’t want converts.’
    â€˜No. And I don’t want to be converted either. I believe in being free to choose. Don’t worry about it. You’ll get over the feeling; it’s just a mood.’
    He lowered his voice.