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Authors: Misty Malone
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something was bothering you. I should have done something.”
“ But you tried. You tried to get me to talk to you last night. I just didn't feel ready to talk yet. Then you told me to call you if I had a nightmare.”
Heath paused a moment before asking, “Sara, do you remember, last night when we were talking about Heather you said the thought of having someone that's protective of you sounded good to you?”
She sheepishly answered, “Yes.”
“ Does it still?”
“ Yes.”
“ Then why won't you let me protect you?” She didn't answer, but he could tell she was thinking about what he'd said. “Honey, I'm upset that you suffered last night and you wouldn't even give me the chance to help you.”
“ Heath, I just didn't want to be a bother.”
“ Honey, you're not a bother. I truly care about you and want to help. If you would have called me last night I could have at least held you until you felt safe. Would that have been so bad?”
She quietly said, “I would have loved to have had your arms around me last night, Heath. I was so scared.” She started crying, and Heath again wrapped his arms around her. She cried into his shirt while he held her. He didn't like seeing her cry, but knew crying was probably her first line of defense that he'd need to get past. Maybe giving in to tears would help her open up to him.
He held her tight while she cried, whispering encouraging words to her and gently rubbing her back. When the crying slowed he said, “Sara, please let me help you. I don't want you having nightmares again tonight, but you probably will unless we talk. Can you try to tell me what happened?”
She took a deep breath and courageously said, “I don't know if I can, but I'll try.”
“That's my girl.” He held both of her hands again as he said, “Let's start, am I right that the incident at the beach reminded you of something that happened in the past?” She nodded her head, and he encouraged, “Okay. Thank you. That's a good start, Honey. Now, can you tell me when it happened?”
Over the next hour Heath patiently helped Sara recount an incident that occurred when she was a freshman in high school. She had gone to the library after school to work on a report. She had gotten so involved in her research she didn't realize how late it was until it had gotten dark. Afraid she'd get in trouble for being late, she took a shortcut home through an alley. Two men tried to abduct her in the alley. Luckily, she screamed loud enough that an off-duty policeman heard her and came to her rescue. However, she had to testify against the men in court, where their attorneys placed the blame totally on her. She was depicted by the men's parents and friends, who in reality had never even seen her prior to the incident, as the type of girl that hangs out in secluded alleys after dark. They made it look like she welcomed their attention, even went out looking for it on occasion. That incident and reputation followed her through high school.
In talking with her and asking her questions, Heath realized that the worst part of the whole scenario was that Sara had been blamed for the situation so many times that she believed, at least in part, it was her fault. That worried Heath greatly.
Looking directly into her eyes, Heath told her, “Listen to me a minute, Sweetheart. This is very important. What those men did to you, or attempted to do to you was terrible. It was absolutely awful, but it was in no way your fault. The fault is one hundred percent theirs. Do you understand what I'm saying?”
She quickly responded, “I know it was awful and they shouldn't have done it, but I have to admit that if I wouldn't have been there they couldn't have done it. So that means I have to accept partial responsibility.”
Heath quickly told her in a very authoritative way, “No, you most certainly do not, Sara.” His stern voice startled
“ But you tried. You tried to get me to talk to you last night. I just didn't feel ready to talk yet. Then you told me to call you if I had a nightmare.”
Heath paused a moment before asking, “Sara, do you remember, last night when we were talking about Heather you said the thought of having someone that's protective of you sounded good to you?”
She sheepishly answered, “Yes.”
“ Does it still?”
“ Yes.”
“ Then why won't you let me protect you?” She didn't answer, but he could tell she was thinking about what he'd said. “Honey, I'm upset that you suffered last night and you wouldn't even give me the chance to help you.”
“ Heath, I just didn't want to be a bother.”
“ Honey, you're not a bother. I truly care about you and want to help. If you would have called me last night I could have at least held you until you felt safe. Would that have been so bad?”
She quietly said, “I would have loved to have had your arms around me last night, Heath. I was so scared.” She started crying, and Heath again wrapped his arms around her. She cried into his shirt while he held her. He didn't like seeing her cry, but knew crying was probably her first line of defense that he'd need to get past. Maybe giving in to tears would help her open up to him.
He held her tight while she cried, whispering encouraging words to her and gently rubbing her back. When the crying slowed he said, “Sara, please let me help you. I don't want you having nightmares again tonight, but you probably will unless we talk. Can you try to tell me what happened?”
She took a deep breath and courageously said, “I don't know if I can, but I'll try.”
“That's my girl.” He held both of her hands again as he said, “Let's start, am I right that the incident at the beach reminded you of something that happened in the past?” She nodded her head, and he encouraged, “Okay. Thank you. That's a good start, Honey. Now, can you tell me when it happened?”
Over the next hour Heath patiently helped Sara recount an incident that occurred when she was a freshman in high school. She had gone to the library after school to work on a report. She had gotten so involved in her research she didn't realize how late it was until it had gotten dark. Afraid she'd get in trouble for being late, she took a shortcut home through an alley. Two men tried to abduct her in the alley. Luckily, she screamed loud enough that an off-duty policeman heard her and came to her rescue. However, she had to testify against the men in court, where their attorneys placed the blame totally on her. She was depicted by the men's parents and friends, who in reality had never even seen her prior to the incident, as the type of girl that hangs out in secluded alleys after dark. They made it look like she welcomed their attention, even went out looking for it on occasion. That incident and reputation followed her through high school.
In talking with her and asking her questions, Heath realized that the worst part of the whole scenario was that Sara had been blamed for the situation so many times that she believed, at least in part, it was her fault. That worried Heath greatly.
Looking directly into her eyes, Heath told her, “Listen to me a minute, Sweetheart. This is very important. What those men did to you, or attempted to do to you was terrible. It was absolutely awful, but it was in no way your fault. The fault is one hundred percent theirs. Do you understand what I'm saying?”
She quickly responded, “I know it was awful and they shouldn't have done it, but I have to admit that if I wouldn't have been there they couldn't have done it. So that means I have to accept partial responsibility.”
Heath quickly told her in a very authoritative way, “No, you most certainly do not, Sara.” His stern voice startled
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