Read Online The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion - Free Book Online

have noticed my shock. “Relax. We’re outside.”
    There was no point in arguing. I would not be seeing her again after tonight. The lighter flamed and she held it to the cigarette between her artificially red lips.
    “Anyhow, I’ve got a genetics question,” she said.
    “Proceed.” I was back in the world I knew.
    “Someone told me you can tell if a person’s monogamous by the size of their testicles.”
    The sexual aspects of biology regularly feature in the popular press, so this was not as stupid a statement as it might appear, although it embodied a typical misconception. It occurred to me that it could be some sort of code for a sexual advance, but I decided to play safe and respond to the question literally.
    “Ridiculous,” I said.
    Rosie seemed very pleased with my answer.
    “You’re a star,” she said. “I’ve just won a bet.”
    I proceeded to elaborate and noted that Rosie’s expression of satisfaction faded. I guessed that she had oversimplified her question and that my more detailed explanation was in fact what she had been told.
    “There may be some correlation at the individual level, but the rule applies to species. Homo sapiens are basically monogamous but tactically unfaithful. Males benefit from impregnating as many females as possible but are able to support only one set of offspring. Females seek maximum-quality genes for their children plus a male to support them.”
    I was just settling into the familiar role of lecturer when Rosie interrupted.
    “What about the testicles?”
    “Bigger testicles produce more semen. Monogamous species require only the amount sufficient for their mate. Humans needextra to take advantage of random opportunities and to attack the sperm of recent intruders.”
    “Nice,” said Rosie.
    “Not really. The behavior evolved in the ancestral environment. The modern world requires additional rules.”
    “Yeah,” said Rosie. “Like being there for your kids.”
    “Correct. But instincts are incredibly powerful.”
    “Tell me about it,” said Rosie.
    I began to explain. “Instinct is an expression of—”
    “Rhetorical question,” said Rosie. “I’ve lived it. My mother went gene shopping at her medical graduation party.”
    “These behaviors are unconscious. People don’t deliberately—”
    “I get that.”
    I doubted it. Nonprofessionals frequently misinterpret the findings of evolutionary psychology. But the story was interesting.
    “You’re saying your mother engaged in unprotected sex outside her primary relationship?”
    “With some other student,” replied Rosie. “While she was dating my”—at this point Rosie raised her hands and made a downward movement, twice, with the index and middle fingers of both hands—“father. My real dad’s a doctor. I just don’t know which one. Really, really pisses me off.”
    I was fascinated by the hand movements and silent for a while as I tried to work them out. Were they a sign of distress at not knowing who her father was? If so, it was not one I was familiar with. And why had she chosen to punctuate her speech at that point . . . of course! Punctuation!
    “Quotation marks,” I said aloud as the idea hit me.
    “What?”
    “You made quotation marks around ‘father’ to draw attentionto the fact that the word should not be interpreted in the usual way. Very clever.”
    “Well, there you go,” she said. “And there I was thinking you were reflecting on my minor problem with my whole fucking life. And might have something intelligent to say.”
    I corrected her. “It’s not a minor problem at all!” I pointed my finger in the air to indicate an exclamation mark. “You should insist on being informed.” I stabbed the same finger to indicate a full stop. This was quite fun.
    “My mother’s dead. She died in a car accident when I was ten. She never told anyone who my father was—not even Phil.”
    “Phil?” I couldn’t think of how to indicate a question mark and decided to