Read Online The Northwoods Chronicles by Elizabeth Engstrom - Free Book Online Page B

going to give this to Cane,” she said, and got
up from the table. She knew her attitude, actions and talk seared
Doc just as good as if she’d laid him on the grill, but she
couldn’t help it. She couldn’t sit across and make small talk while
so much was going on in her mind, and it wasn’t all about
Kenneth.
    Yes it was, it was all about Kenneth, about the
things he made her think about. Long for. Remember. Oh god, she
wished he had never come up to White Pines Junction looking for
some fishing action. She’d give about anything to go back to the
peaceful life she and Doc had before he butted in.
    She stood on the front porch and whistled for
Cane. Little gusts blew leaves in swirls across the lawn and around
the front end of the truck. The fluffy white Samoyed didn’t take
long to come from wherever he was and run up to her, all
bright-eyed smiles and happy curly tail. He took the bone from her
hand as gentle as possible and ran off to chew it in private.
“Life’s so simple for you, isn’t it?” she asked as she watched him
plop on the grass and begin to gnaw.
    Sadie Katherine remembered when life had been
simple for her, too.
    The door behind her opened and closed and then
Doc’s hands were on her shoulders. She loved the feel of them, big
square fingers that knew their way around delicate little knots in
two-pound-test line as well as a hardworking chainsaw, as well as
all her body’s pleasure points. “Stay with me, Sadie Katherine.
Please,” he whispered in her ear and one tear found release from
the burning emotion, skipped down her cheek and fell to the porch.
She didn’t speak, her silence thunderous, and soon she felt a kiss
on the top of her head, then the hands were gone and the door
behind her opened and closed again.
    Oh god, it hurt so much. Life hurt, it hurt so
badly she didn’t know if she could endure it. She wished she had
known about the cramping pain in the gut that could come from just
living.
    She gripped the weathered railing and felt the
rough wood dig into her hands. What if she had known about this
traitorous human emotion? Would she have made a different decision?
Would she have forfeited this feeling of wood in her hands because
decisions might hurt her? Would she deny herself the warmth of Doc
in their bed, his big arm around her, holding her close as he
snored? Would she give up, even once, the happiness in her heart
when he smiled at her across the breakfast table as the sunrise
pinked the sky?
    No, she had made those choices, and they had
been good ones. Perfect ones. Happy ones. Satisfying, fulfilling,
normal choices.
    Could she trust herself to continue to make
reasonable choices?
    She had to. She had no one else to trust, given
her history.
    Doc was clearing the table when she came back
in. “Think I’ll go on to bed,” she said.
    “I’ve got some bookwork to do, and then I’ll
join you,” he said without looking at her.
    Sadie Katherine wondered if she had already made
her decision. Otherwise, she’d be comforting him. The fact that he
wasn’t pressing her made her love him even more. Made her ache for
him even more.
    She slid out of her clothes that felt too big,
and stepped into the shower, turning the water on hot and full
force. She liked how it started out startlingly frigid, and then
gradually warmed up to the point where she had to add cold to mix
in. She liked the extreme in temperatures. She soaped up, loving
the slippery feeling of the soap on her skin, taking particular
care to notice every motion of her hands, her fingers, as they
manipulated the washcloth, and she was alive to the sensations of
the water and the soap and the air. And afterward, the cold breeze
when she opened the shower door to get the towel. And then the
towel on her skin, and the comb through her hair, and the look in
her eyes that didn’t look like the eyes of any human she had ever
encountered.
    Doc was downstairs a long time, and when he came
in, he wore a T-shirt and boxers