Read Online The List by Sherri L. Lewis - Free Book Online Page A

see if Cassandra Peyton had learned something I might have missed.
    Cassandra smoothed her fingers over her short, natural hair. “I met this wonderful man who I just knew was God-sent. We had a whirlwind dating period and were married three months after we met. The dating was great—every woman’s romantic fantasy. Even the first year of marriage was wonderful, but eventually, the real man came out, and my life became a nightmare.”
    Murmurs rose from the audience.
    Cassandra went on, “The worst part is, just like these ladies, my husband was a pastor. Looking back, for everything that ended up happening, there was a little red flag sometime while we were dating that, if I had paid attention, I would have realized who he was and gone running as fast as I could. There are no surprises in relationships.”
    Cassandra lifted a finger to punctuate her point. “My message to you tonight, women of God, is choose well . Once you make sure you’re prepared, make sure you choose a man who is adequately prepared as well. And I don’t care how lonely you think you are or how bad you want to have sex, don’t ever settle for less than God’s best for you. You’d rather be alone and horny than married to the wrong man.”
    It would have been funny if she wasn’t so serious.
    â€œI let my biological clock talk louder than the Holy Spirit. If I had listened to Him, my marriage would have never happened. But I was lonely. And I was getting old. I wanted to be married and have babies like all my friends. So I ignored me, the Holy Spirit, my mom—everyone who had enough wisdom to know that I had no business marrying that man.”
    She picked up a bottle of water from the coffee table in front of her. She took a long sip, I think, to give us time to focus on what she’d said.
    â€œDon’t be so afraid of being alone and childless that you end up worse off. I was left completely devastated, broke, hurt, bewildered, betrayed, confused—every bad emotion you can name. I won’t go into the details of what happened with my husband because he’s still pastoring, and I wouldn’t want to speak badly against a man of God.”
    Nicole leaned over and whispered in my ear. “Isn’t there a Pastor Peyton in that big church out in College Park?”
    I nodded.
    â€œDidn’t he just remarry, and he and his new wife are putting on a big marriage seminar in the fall?”
    I nodded again. I was sure she was wondering, as I was, if this was Cassandra Peyton’s ex. I respected the fact that she didn’t want to speak badly of him, but couldn’t help wondering what had happened.
    Cassandra continued, “Ladies, asking some simple questions can save you a world of hurt. What kind of family did he grow up in? What was his childhood like? What past hurts has he not dealt with that could one day be an issue in your relationship? What is/was his relationship with his parents like? How many serious relationships has he been in, and how and why did they end? Has he ever cheated? What is his philosophy for managing his finances? What does his credit look like, and how did it get that way? What’s the worst thing that ever happened to him, and how did he come through it? What is his prayer life like?”
    I guess the questions she was telling us to ask gave us some clues into what happened.
    â€œDon’t be so googly-eyed in love that you don’t see what’s really there. I know it’s hard because love and romance feels so good. And you can be blinded to the truth, or you see the truth but ignore it because you love the way it feels. Introduce him to your friends, your parents, your pastor. Maybe they’ll be able to see the truth you’re choosing to ignore. Is he submitted to the Spirit of Christ? When someone points out some area in his character that needs fixing, does he listen and seek the Lord to change, or does his pride