Royce said to his brother.
“Who?” I asked. “Promised her what?”
“Clementine,” Randy said.
Royce groaned. “She’ll kick our ass if we show up
at her house. Adam, you met her the other day. She was the girl from the
Halloween party.”
“Which girl?” Nif and I and the twins had attended
the Halloween party at the university. Nif didn’t have that great of a time
because she didn’t know anybody there, so we left early. I had dressed as a
dog, and she went as a cheerleader holding a giant jar of peanut butter. Only a
few people had gotten the joke, which had pissed off the already-grumpy Nif
even more. The twins had worn normal clothes, but Royce decked out in makeup
and a wig to make his head look fake. They spent the evening before the party
walking around campus freaking people out when Royce would move and talk.
“Clementine was the badger.”
I remembered her. She was drunk on the couch
making out with a gladiator. She had a thick, southern accent. “How is she
going to help?”
“Let’s go,” Randy said. “We gotta grab some stuff
from the house, but we’ll explain on the way.” They shoved the Al Capone
shotgun in my hands. The gun was heavy and didn’t feel natural. I’d shot
handguns when I was much younger. I’d never held anything like this.
As I held the gun, I worried about something that
had been bothering me a lot, especially in the past hour.
I was a pussy, and I knew it.
I used to watch all those war movies, like Hamburger Hill, Platoon, Saving Private
Ryan, shit, even the sci-fi ones like Starship
Troopers, and it always terrified me. I tried to put myself in that
situation. I always wondered how I’d react when the shit started to fly. I knew
the answer.
I was afraid my fight or flight instinct was
broken. All I had was the flight part.
Once, before we got married, Nif and I were at a
Lucky Wishbone waiting at the picnic table outside for our food. This
scraggly-looking homeless dude and his wife or girlfriend came up and sat at
the table next to us.
“Give us some money,” the guy said. He said it to
Nif. “We’re hungry.”
“Get a job, shit bucket,” Nif said.
I could be a real jerk sometimes, but when it came
to confrontations with absolute strangers, I preferred avoidance. Nif, on the
other hand, liked to light every fuse she came across.
Small and meek at first glance, her abrasive,
aggressive manner caught people by surprise. They backed the fuck down right
away.
But not always.
The guy went crazy. He jumped up on the bench and
ripped off his jacket, revealing a frame so emaciated and frail that a strong
sneeze could be fatal. He pounded his chest like a goddamned gorilla, and he
let out an incoherent, screaming stream of expletives right in my girlfriend’s
direction.
Nif laughed.
The guy’s companion tried to get him off the
bench. He pulled away, and for a moment, I thought he was going to haul off and
punch Nif right in the face.
I froze.
I knew I should do something, anything . But I didn’t know what. At the very least, even the most
timid of men would put themselves between the crazy and his girl. But I did
nothing. I sat there, useless, and I allowed my girlfriend to do all the work.
“Come on,” the guy’s girlfriend said, finally
pulling him off the table. She dragged him away as he continued to scream at Nif.
He left his jacket on the table.
Nif picked it up and taunted him as they left.
“You left your coat, you fucking bum! You’re going to freeze to death tonight,
you worthless pile of vomit. I’m going to find your corpse in the morning and
piss right in your dead fucking face! You hear me?”
After he was gone, Nif looked and me and laughed.
“What an asshole,” she said.
She never noticed or said anything about my lack
of reaction. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I was a coward, and I knew it. I could pretend,
lie to myself all I wanted, but the truth was the truth. There was no fixing
it. As much as I
“Who?” I asked. “Promised her what?”
“Clementine,” Randy said.
Royce groaned. “She’ll kick our ass if we show up
at her house. Adam, you met her the other day. She was the girl from the
Halloween party.”
“Which girl?” Nif and I and the twins had attended
the Halloween party at the university. Nif didn’t have that great of a time
because she didn’t know anybody there, so we left early. I had dressed as a
dog, and she went as a cheerleader holding a giant jar of peanut butter. Only a
few people had gotten the joke, which had pissed off the already-grumpy Nif
even more. The twins had worn normal clothes, but Royce decked out in makeup
and a wig to make his head look fake. They spent the evening before the party
walking around campus freaking people out when Royce would move and talk.
“Clementine was the badger.”
I remembered her. She was drunk on the couch
making out with a gladiator. She had a thick, southern accent. “How is she
going to help?”
“Let’s go,” Randy said. “We gotta grab some stuff
from the house, but we’ll explain on the way.” They shoved the Al Capone
shotgun in my hands. The gun was heavy and didn’t feel natural. I’d shot
handguns when I was much younger. I’d never held anything like this.
As I held the gun, I worried about something that
had been bothering me a lot, especially in the past hour.
I was a pussy, and I knew it.
I used to watch all those war movies, like Hamburger Hill, Platoon, Saving Private
Ryan, shit, even the sci-fi ones like Starship
Troopers, and it always terrified me. I tried to put myself in that
situation. I always wondered how I’d react when the shit started to fly. I knew
the answer.
I was afraid my fight or flight instinct was
broken. All I had was the flight part.
Once, before we got married, Nif and I were at a
Lucky Wishbone waiting at the picnic table outside for our food. This
scraggly-looking homeless dude and his wife or girlfriend came up and sat at
the table next to us.
“Give us some money,” the guy said. He said it to
Nif. “We’re hungry.”
“Get a job, shit bucket,” Nif said.
I could be a real jerk sometimes, but when it came
to confrontations with absolute strangers, I preferred avoidance. Nif, on the
other hand, liked to light every fuse she came across.
Small and meek at first glance, her abrasive,
aggressive manner caught people by surprise. They backed the fuck down right
away.
But not always.
The guy went crazy. He jumped up on the bench and
ripped off his jacket, revealing a frame so emaciated and frail that a strong
sneeze could be fatal. He pounded his chest like a goddamned gorilla, and he
let out an incoherent, screaming stream of expletives right in my girlfriend’s
direction.
Nif laughed.
The guy’s companion tried to get him off the
bench. He pulled away, and for a moment, I thought he was going to haul off and
punch Nif right in the face.
I froze.
I knew I should do something, anything . But I didn’t know what. At the very least, even the most
timid of men would put themselves between the crazy and his girl. But I did
nothing. I sat there, useless, and I allowed my girlfriend to do all the work.
“Come on,” the guy’s girlfriend said, finally
pulling him off the table. She dragged him away as he continued to scream at Nif.
He left his jacket on the table.
Nif picked it up and taunted him as they left.
“You left your coat, you fucking bum! You’re going to freeze to death tonight,
you worthless pile of vomit. I’m going to find your corpse in the morning and
piss right in your dead fucking face! You hear me?”
After he was gone, Nif looked and me and laughed.
“What an asshole,” she said.
She never noticed or said anything about my lack
of reaction. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
I was a coward, and I knew it. I could pretend,
lie to myself all I wanted, but the truth was the truth. There was no fixing
it. As much as I
Similar Books
