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Authors: Gilbert Morris
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down beside his wife. “Sorry to be late, Leah,” he managed to get out as he put the package on the bed.
“What is it?” she asked.
Stuart realized with some confusion that he had no idea what was in the package. “Just a little gift,” he said. “Nothing much.”
Leah opened the package. She recognized the haggard look on Stuart’s face. He had been drinking again, and he smelled of stale perfume, and she knew he had been with some woman. Her fingers felt numb, and there was no joy in her as she removed the wrapping from the package. She saw a brooch with gold trim and a green stone inside and knew instantly that it was not a gift that he had picked out for her.
“Thank you, Stuart,” she said evenly.
Suddenly Stuart saw the tawdriness that he had allowed to creep into his life, and he could not keep silent. “I was drunk and Ace came to get me. He made me come home. That brooch was one he bought for Ellie.”
Leah looked into Stuart’s face and could still see the handsomeness that had stirred her a year ago, but now she saw a certain weakness that had left its mark. Perhaps it had always been there, but she had never recognized it until now. God had given him great gifts, a strong body, handsome features, but something was missing from him. Perhaps it was what was missing from all men, she thought suddenly. She looked into his tired face and saw his haunted eyes and quietly reached out and took his hand.
The touch of Leah’s hand on his seemed to hit Stuart Winslow like a blow. He was as guilty as a man could possibly be, and never in his life had he felt so low and worthless. He looked up with pure misery in his dark eyes and said, “I’m sorry, Leah.”
Leah tried to control the emotions that churned inside, but she did not want to confront him on their anniversary, so she said, “It’s all right, Stuart.”
“No, it’s not.” Stuart lowered his head and stared at the wedding band on her hand and then at the one on his own finger. “I feel like a ticket that someone’s bought and then lost on,” he said bitterly. “I’m a loser. You should never have married me, Leah.”
“It’ll be different, Stuart. When the baby comes, it’ll be different.”
Suddenly Stuart leaned forward, and she took his head and held it against her breast. “Things are going to change,” she whispered, “when the baby comes.” She tried to believe her own words as she felt the shaking of his shoulders, and a ray of hope sprang up. She had never seen him broken like this before, and she cried out, “Oh, Lord, make him different!”
CHAPTER FOUR
Cracks in a Marriage
“There’s a good boy!”
Leah laughed aloud as Raimey splashed vigorously, holding his fat fists clutched tightly together. He sent the soapy water in the large dishpan everywhere, and Leah turned her face to avoid getting soap in her eyes. “You are a water bug! That’s what you are.”
Raimey, at the age of five months, was fat and pink and lively. His dark blue eyes, so much like those of Stuart, looked up at her. He clutched his right fist even more tightly and struck himself in the face with it. “Yah!” he said in shocked surprise.
“That’s what you get when you hit yourself in the face, Raimey.”
Giving her baby a bath was one of the pleasures of motherhood for Leah. She had had a difficult pregnancy and an even more difficult delivery, but since the arrival of her new son, Leah had bloomed. Motherhood agreed with her, for even in the five-month period she had regained her figure almost completely and was healthier than she had ever been in her life, or so it seemed to her. Now as she soaked the baby’s silky skin while he splashed and chortled and grinned toothlessly, a thought came to Leah.
I’m like a beggar who only has a few things and is afraid to put them down for fear someone will steal them. The thought startled her, and her smile disappeared as her mind continued to work.
It was a fanciful thought and a
“What is it?” she asked.
Stuart realized with some confusion that he had no idea what was in the package. “Just a little gift,” he said. “Nothing much.”
Leah opened the package. She recognized the haggard look on Stuart’s face. He had been drinking again, and he smelled of stale perfume, and she knew he had been with some woman. Her fingers felt numb, and there was no joy in her as she removed the wrapping from the package. She saw a brooch with gold trim and a green stone inside and knew instantly that it was not a gift that he had picked out for her.
“Thank you, Stuart,” she said evenly.
Suddenly Stuart saw the tawdriness that he had allowed to creep into his life, and he could not keep silent. “I was drunk and Ace came to get me. He made me come home. That brooch was one he bought for Ellie.”
Leah looked into Stuart’s face and could still see the handsomeness that had stirred her a year ago, but now she saw a certain weakness that had left its mark. Perhaps it had always been there, but she had never recognized it until now. God had given him great gifts, a strong body, handsome features, but something was missing from him. Perhaps it was what was missing from all men, she thought suddenly. She looked into his tired face and saw his haunted eyes and quietly reached out and took his hand.
The touch of Leah’s hand on his seemed to hit Stuart Winslow like a blow. He was as guilty as a man could possibly be, and never in his life had he felt so low and worthless. He looked up with pure misery in his dark eyes and said, “I’m sorry, Leah.”
Leah tried to control the emotions that churned inside, but she did not want to confront him on their anniversary, so she said, “It’s all right, Stuart.”
“No, it’s not.” Stuart lowered his head and stared at the wedding band on her hand and then at the one on his own finger. “I feel like a ticket that someone’s bought and then lost on,” he said bitterly. “I’m a loser. You should never have married me, Leah.”
“It’ll be different, Stuart. When the baby comes, it’ll be different.”
Suddenly Stuart leaned forward, and she took his head and held it against her breast. “Things are going to change,” she whispered, “when the baby comes.” She tried to believe her own words as she felt the shaking of his shoulders, and a ray of hope sprang up. She had never seen him broken like this before, and she cried out, “Oh, Lord, make him different!”
CHAPTER FOUR
Cracks in a Marriage
“There’s a good boy!”
Leah laughed aloud as Raimey splashed vigorously, holding his fat fists clutched tightly together. He sent the soapy water in the large dishpan everywhere, and Leah turned her face to avoid getting soap in her eyes. “You are a water bug! That’s what you are.”
Raimey, at the age of five months, was fat and pink and lively. His dark blue eyes, so much like those of Stuart, looked up at her. He clutched his right fist even more tightly and struck himself in the face with it. “Yah!” he said in shocked surprise.
“That’s what you get when you hit yourself in the face, Raimey.”
Giving her baby a bath was one of the pleasures of motherhood for Leah. She had had a difficult pregnancy and an even more difficult delivery, but since the arrival of her new son, Leah had bloomed. Motherhood agreed with her, for even in the five-month period she had regained her figure almost completely and was healthier than she had ever been in her life, or so it seemed to her. Now as she soaked the baby’s silky skin while he splashed and chortled and grinned toothlessly, a thought came to Leah.
I’m like a beggar who only has a few things and is afraid to put them down for fear someone will steal them. The thought startled her, and her smile disappeared as her mind continued to work.
It was a fanciful thought and a
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