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Authors: Natalie Standiford
Tags: JUV014000
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from boys. We feel confident that with further study, our hypothesis, that boys are more sexcrazed, will be confirmed.
The results of the questionnaires are compiled on the charts and graphs attached. We posted these charts on the site so the students can see how their answers compare with the other students’. As you can see, many students claim to have extensive sexual experience. If some of this is an exaggeration, we cannot be held responsible.
As for matchmaking, so far we have sent ten couples on dates. Two were successful (we define success as both parties agreeing to a second date). Two were complete disasters. The jury is still out on the rest of them.
The Dating Game, Questionnaire #2:
Who’s More Sex-Crazed, Boys or Girls?
All right, people. Let’s try this again. And if you are a boy, please respond. We need more answers from boys.
Do You Have Sex on the Brain?
Check the box next to each statement that is true for you.
1.I am a boy
2.I am a girl
3.I dreamed about sex last night
4.I dream about sex every night
5.I think soap operas are sexy
6.I think
The Price Is Right
is sexy
7.My parents never knock before coming into my room, and I have no problem with that
8.My best friend is of the opposite sex. If he/she fell in love with me, I’d freak out
9.My best friend is of the opposite sex. If he/she fell in love with me, I’d be thrilled
10I watch MTV Spring Break for the travel tips
11When I say someone is cute, I mean it in a stuffed-animal kind of way
12When I say someone is cute, it means I’m picturing him/her naked
Answer Key: If you checked boxes 7, 8, 10, and 11 you’re a prude. If you checked boxes 3, 5, and 9, you’re fairly normal. If you checked boxes 4, 6, and 12, you’re a total perv.
“Well, if it isn’t the Boobmeister,” Sebastiano purred. “Looks like you just took a step up on the social ladder, Holly. I’ll have to try to be seen in public with you more often.”
Monday morning and the halls were buzzing with talk of the Dating Game. Holly had picked up on it, too, but her twice-daily meeting with Sebastiano at their lockers kept her up to date on the very latest.
“I heard that Ingrid found some kind of love slave on your Web site,” Sebastiano said. “The guy actually came to her house and cleaned her room for her! He even shined her shoes! She’s in heaven!”
“Good morning, Sebastiano,” Holly said, as if he were a normal person who had normal conversations. “How was your weekend?”
“I love those charts you guys made,” Sebastiano said. “Showing how experienced the student body is. I had no idea this school was so full of perverts!” He glanced around, as if the dorky boy walking by with his skateboard could be a secret sex fiend. “It’s very exciting. It changes the whole concept of school! Like, what will we be learning today?”
Holly pawed through a pile of books on her locker shelf. “Do we have a quiz in Geometry today?”
“Do we? Oh no! I didn’t study. Did you ask about my weekend? It’s all hazy now. Must have been good.”
“Sounds better than mine,” Holly said.
“Better than yours? How can that be? Your weekend was spent luxuriating in the creation of the greatest invention to hit Rosewood since girls’ volleyball. A sex Web site! Detailing the innermost thoughts and desires of every punk in school! Pure genius.” He kissed his fingertips, Italian-style. He could be a real ham, that Sebastiano. “You were basking in your triumph! Weren’t you?”
“I didn’t do much basking,” Holly said, though it was beginning to dawn on her that maybe she should.
“Hmm. According to ‘Nuclear Autumn’ you’ve been seeing a lot of action.”
“You can’t believe everything you read,” Holly said. “Autumn doesn’t have the guts to write about my
real
activities.”
“Ooh. Tell me. I can take it. I’m unshockable.”
Holly was bluffing, of course, but she wasn’t exactly lying. Autumn
wouldn’t
want
The results of the questionnaires are compiled on the charts and graphs attached. We posted these charts on the site so the students can see how their answers compare with the other students’. As you can see, many students claim to have extensive sexual experience. If some of this is an exaggeration, we cannot be held responsible.
As for matchmaking, so far we have sent ten couples on dates. Two were successful (we define success as both parties agreeing to a second date). Two were complete disasters. The jury is still out on the rest of them.
The Dating Game, Questionnaire #2:
Who’s More Sex-Crazed, Boys or Girls?
All right, people. Let’s try this again. And if you are a boy, please respond. We need more answers from boys.
Do You Have Sex on the Brain?
Check the box next to each statement that is true for you.
1.I am a boy
2.I am a girl
3.I dreamed about sex last night
4.I dream about sex every night
5.I think soap operas are sexy
6.I think
The Price Is Right
is sexy
7.My parents never knock before coming into my room, and I have no problem with that
8.My best friend is of the opposite sex. If he/she fell in love with me, I’d freak out
9.My best friend is of the opposite sex. If he/she fell in love with me, I’d be thrilled
10I watch MTV Spring Break for the travel tips
11When I say someone is cute, I mean it in a stuffed-animal kind of way
12When I say someone is cute, it means I’m picturing him/her naked
Answer Key: If you checked boxes 7, 8, 10, and 11 you’re a prude. If you checked boxes 3, 5, and 9, you’re fairly normal. If you checked boxes 4, 6, and 12, you’re a total perv.
“Well, if it isn’t the Boobmeister,” Sebastiano purred. “Looks like you just took a step up on the social ladder, Holly. I’ll have to try to be seen in public with you more often.”
Monday morning and the halls were buzzing with talk of the Dating Game. Holly had picked up on it, too, but her twice-daily meeting with Sebastiano at their lockers kept her up to date on the very latest.
“I heard that Ingrid found some kind of love slave on your Web site,” Sebastiano said. “The guy actually came to her house and cleaned her room for her! He even shined her shoes! She’s in heaven!”
“Good morning, Sebastiano,” Holly said, as if he were a normal person who had normal conversations. “How was your weekend?”
“I love those charts you guys made,” Sebastiano said. “Showing how experienced the student body is. I had no idea this school was so full of perverts!” He glanced around, as if the dorky boy walking by with his skateboard could be a secret sex fiend. “It’s very exciting. It changes the whole concept of school! Like, what will we be learning today?”
Holly pawed through a pile of books on her locker shelf. “Do we have a quiz in Geometry today?”
“Do we? Oh no! I didn’t study. Did you ask about my weekend? It’s all hazy now. Must have been good.”
“Sounds better than mine,” Holly said.
“Better than yours? How can that be? Your weekend was spent luxuriating in the creation of the greatest invention to hit Rosewood since girls’ volleyball. A sex Web site! Detailing the innermost thoughts and desires of every punk in school! Pure genius.” He kissed his fingertips, Italian-style. He could be a real ham, that Sebastiano. “You were basking in your triumph! Weren’t you?”
“I didn’t do much basking,” Holly said, though it was beginning to dawn on her that maybe she should.
“Hmm. According to ‘Nuclear Autumn’ you’ve been seeing a lot of action.”
“You can’t believe everything you read,” Holly said. “Autumn doesn’t have the guts to write about my
real
activities.”
“Ooh. Tell me. I can take it. I’m unshockable.”
Holly was bluffing, of course, but she wasn’t exactly lying. Autumn
wouldn’t
want
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