Sarah, in tears, threw herself on our big sister.
âOh, itâs all right, Sare,â said Jessie, but she left a few minutes later, and Sarah was still crying.
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Deborah called from the hospital in the morning. Theyâre not letting me out until tomorrow. Iâm a prisoner.
âHow come?
âSome number. Itâs minor.
âI want to see Mary Grace! Ruben wondered if something was wrong; no.
âSo come here. I want to see you.
âIâll come. She had to take Squirrel along, and she was pretty sure he wouldnât be allowed into the hospital, so she wore him in the sling and put a shirt of Harryâs on top and her coat on top of that. Sheâd worn that shirt when she was pregnant. Iâm putting you back in, she said to Squirrel. Surprising: short, red-headed Toby Ruben deceiving the big hospital, of which she was afraid. It had given her the Squirrel and maybe it could snatch him back, an idea no less powerful because it was nonsense. You better not cry, kiddo. She walked to the bus stop, patting his rear.
It wasnât Ruben who broke rules. Apparently she had become Deborah, and she fluffed her hair and stretched, unhunching her shoulders, which were already tight: this baby was too big to be carried on her chest. He slept and slurped his tongue a little too noisily, and slept againâa good friend. Deborah broke rules. She thought of Deborah saying she merely read aloud to her students. If Lawful Toby tried that, Director Carlotta would whoosh in like weather to catch her and hold her up to shame. What have we here, what what WHAT have we here! White Lady thinks our Black Ladies (and white ladies) are of no account, not worth trouble, not worth squints and frowns and headaches?
But there was no question about smuggling Squirrel into the hospital. Ruben wanted badly to visit Deborah, and see Mary Grace Laidlaw, that new citizen. Peter the Squirrel had to see her too; probably heâd marry her eventually.
At the bus stop an old woman disapproved of carrying babies on chests, and Ruben said, Oh, leave us alone! Probably the old woman, who drew herself into a seat and inserted herself in her own tote bag, grimacing, growing smaller and smaller while the tote bag grew larger and largerâquite probably the old woman cursed her. For while Ruben crossed the street in a hurry, buttoning the shirt over Squirrel and holding her coat as closed as it would get, first she remembered her dead mother, whom she didnât like thinking about, and then Squirrel made a sound in his sleep, an ah. In the lobby of the hospital he awoke and she heard him slurp his thumb, so she left and walked around an endless block with more than four sides, onto a bridge over the highway, where she walked against the wind and her baby was socked by wind and was soon crying. Ruben started to circle the block again. This time she saw a bench. She took off her coat and Harryâs shirt and took off Squirrel, who was shrieking by now. She pulled up her own shirt and nursed him, trying to yank the coat around her. She had never been so cold. People passed and looked at her, but nobody criticized her. When the baby fell asleep, she put him back into the sling and got dressed around him. Then she re-turned to the hospital and asked for the pass to see Deborah Laidlaw. And was handed it by someone who barely looked at her.
In the elevator, a nurse winked.
Pass in hand, Ruben hurried down the corridor where Squirrel had been born. Theyâd think she was tired of himâand sometimes she was. But not bringing him back.
In the room was her friend Deborah, bare-breasted, nursing someone not as large as her breast. Jill was leaning over her mother and Rose was lying on the bed next to Deborah, in her shoes. Jeremiah sat on the end of the bed taking his off, letting them thump to the faraway floor. The hospital had just that year decided to let the grimy sisters in.
âHi, hello and
Krista McGee
Eleanor Dark
Kathleen Rowland
Celina Grace
Cat Clarke
Elyse Scott
Deirdre Madden
Cynthia Bailey Pratt
D. J. Butler
The Whitechapel Society