Technocreep

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Authors: Thomas P. Keenan
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proper English. This worried the National Security Agency.
    In 1999 the NSA issued a memo notifying its employees that “personally owned photographic, video, and audio recording equipment are prohibited items. This includes toys, such as ‘Furbys,’ with built-in recorders that repeat the audio with synthesized sound to mimic the original signal.” 311
    The fear was that a rogue Furby could record confidential information and then blab it back if its owner stopped off in a bar on the way home with the thing in tow.
    Apparently lacking the will, technical ability, or spare Furbies to cut them apart, the U.S. National Security Agency simply banned them from the premises. At a time when Edward Snowden was still trying to get his first driver’s license, and Wikileaks was only a dream of its “chief visionary” Julian Assange, the NSA was fretting about stuffed toys. 312 After all, they were made in China.
    We now know that first generation Furbys were faking it. They only had a two hundred word vocabulary—one hundred in Furbish, and one hundred more in English—that they were pre-programmed to reveal. In a blog post, Dwayne Hoover analyzed the inner workings of the original Furby:

    it’s not going to learn or say anything different than the 100 English words it was already programmed to ‘learn.’ You can read it Portuguese porn articles every single day for six months straight, and it’s still going to end up saying, ‘I big worried.’ But, it’s easy to see how the NSA wouldn’t know that. It’s not like they are big on, you know, gathering information about things. 313

    We all fell for it, and indeed there were Christmas-time “Furby Fights” at toy stores around the world. Web pages even revealed secret “Furby cheats” like “cover his eyes three times then pat him on the back, and he will crow like a rooster” 314
    If one Furby was good, two were even better, since they did have some rudimentary ability to interact. They reportedly played Hide and Seek with each other by saying the phrase “Hey Kitty Kitty Kitty Hide” back and forth. 315 Real pets were reportedly driven insane by their incessant chatter.
    This kind of annoying behavior, coupled with the lack of an on/off switch, spawned creative ways to “kill a Furby,” including putting him in a microwave so “the electronic parts of your Furby would be burnt out and destroyed in a very short time.” 316 Your microwave would also be destroyed, giving Furby the evil last laugh.
    Hasbro brought Furby back in 2012 to bedevil a new generation. Now with LED eyes, the new Furby comes in a box emblazoned with the ominous tagline “Furby—A Mind of Its Own.” This new Furby interacts with computers and smartphones and can lay eggs which hatch into Furblings.
    If Furbies could be demanding and petulant, bleating out “Ah-May Koh Koh—Pet Me More!” at the most inopportune times, the other virtual pet craze, Tamagotchis, was known to interrupt business meetings in Japan and cause people to miss their turn on a golf course.
    With their built-in digital meters, these pocket-sized creatures demanded regular care, feeding, and even bathroom breaks. The programming inside the Tama-Go has been reverse-engineered by Natalie Silvanovich, who posted some of her findings online. 317
    She shares Tamagotchi secrets like “from code inspection we learn that it is equally likely a girl will be Belltchi and Hositchi, and equally likely a boy will be Mattaritchi or Ahirkutchi.”
    These glorified digital watches, and our reaction to them, actually provides some great insights into human nature. From the hatching of the egg, the Tamagotchi’s life is a series of suspenseful, if somewhat pre-programmed moments. Will it be a boy or a girl? Which kind of baby personality will it have? What factors determine the variety of Toddler or Teen it

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