Slim to None

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Authors: Jenny Gardiner
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with a nine-pound medicine ball, anyhow. In the meantime, I’ve lost my appetite for my yummy treat. I think I’ll go curl up with a good cookbook instead.

Roasted Chicken and Fresh Pasta with Sun-Dried Tomatos and Basil in Heavy Cream Sauce
    You’ll have to forgive me if I’m guesstimating on this recipe, but I have found that throwing things all together without a lot of direction makes for a more satisfying outcome.
    to roast chicken
    1 3-4 pound chicken (I buy mine freshly-butchered from the farmer’s market)
    A variety of seasonings: kosher salt, pepper, garlic powder, perhaps a little onion powder, a dash of cumin, a pinch of saffron—use your imagination.
    1 stick butter, sliced into 1-tbl. increments
    1/3 c. white wine (for deglazing)
    Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Rinse bird under cold water, dry well with paper towels. Place bird on small rack in roasting pan. Blend together seasonings in a bowl and sprinkle generously over skin. Carefully lift skin and distribute pats of butter throughout between the skin and the meat.
    Throw in the oven and cook till done, about 75 minutes (generally 20 minutes per pound). The legs will loosen on the chicken when it’s done and the skin will be a glossy golden color.
    When done, remove from oven, use tongs to place chicken on a plate or cutting board. Then put roasting pan on stove, with heat on high just to get pan hot, then splash about 1/3 c. white wine into the pan, turning heat down to medium, allowing the liquid to pull the delicious brown drippings. Turn off heat. You can save this and freeze it to use for gravy some time, or add to a chicken stock base, or even splash some of it into your cream sauce for flavoring.
    for pasta
    3-1/2 c. bread flour
    pinch of salt
    4 duck eggs at room temperature (from farmers market)
    3 yolks (from large chicken eggs, again fresh from farmers market)
    1 tbl. Olive oil (optional)
    *I’m going to give you the food processor version to prepare this as it’s quickest.
    1. Put flour and salt in food processor, pulse to combine.
    2. Whisk eggs, yolks and olive oil lightly and pour into machine while it is running.
    3. The dough will begin to come together but not in a neat ball. If the moisture is correct, there will be a few dry bits on the bottom.
    4. Test dough—add liquid or flour, if needed.
    5. Remove from machine and knead 5-7 minutes until silky smooth. It should be a bit tough to knead. When it gets harder to get the seam side of the dough to come together, then it is usually ready. The dough will be glossy. Wrap in plastic and rest at least 30 minutes.
    When ready to roll flour, dust clean countertop with a couple of tablespoons of semolina flour. A wood surface works best for rolling pasta. Roll out the dough with a roller into palm-sized sections. Feed into pasta machine, starting on #1 and repeating all the way up till it’s at the finest level. At that point, place pasta back onto floured counter, and slice with knife to tagliatelle-sized pieces. The pasta can be boiled immediately in lightly-salted water for about 4 minutes, or can be spread on cookie sheets and frozen, one layer at a time.
    for sauce
    1 cup heavy cream
    1/2 c. sun-dried tomatoes, packed in oil, drained, rinsed, patted dry, and sliced into thin strips
    1/2 c. fresh basil, rinsed, and finely chopped
    1 tsp. finely minced shallots
    1 tbl. butter
    splash of reduction sauce from drippings (optional)
    kosher salt and pepper to taste
    Melt butter on medium heat and sauté shallots until soft. Add sun-dried tomatoes, cooking for about 2 minutes. Add cream and bring to simmer, adding basil, seasonings and reduction sauce to taste. Serve over fresh pasta with sliced chicken.
    (serves 4)

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.
    Dan Bennett

Separate Fat from Meat with Tongs
    The thing about gyms is they really should be manned by overly-large ugly people. You know, the mainstream populace. I think it’s an

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