Read Online Queen of Someday by Sherry Ficklin - Free Book Online Page B

someone else?
    “That sounds… like a terrible way to die,” I decide.
    Beside me, he says nothing, but we keep walking. He stops every so often to orient me inside the palace.
    Finally, we reach my door. My ladies go in ahead but I stop, turning to face him. His green-gold eyes are locked on mine—full of unspoken intentions. In that moment, the distance between us seems less like a few steps and more like a great chasm, as if he were so far away that I would have to call out so he might hear my voice.
    “Thank you, Alexander,” I mutter weakly.
    He cocks his head to the side thoughtfully. “For what?”
    My heart races again, and I am left wondering if what I felt between us had been more than just wine and dancing. Even now, here, part of me wonders what his hand would feel like on the small of my back, what his lips would taste like. I shake myself from the thoughts.
    Not sure what to say, I turn and go inside without answering his question, closing the door between us. I realize that I’m flushed, breathing too quickly. It takes all my effort to drive the dark, handsome Alexander and his imaginary kisses out of my mind.

 
     

    Mother is gone when we arrive. A note tells me she is in meetings with Count Lestocq all afternoon. I breathe a deep sigh of relief at her absence. The maids bring up a few bowls of hot water, and my ladies help me strip down and wash before lacing me into one of my new gowns.
    “How is she creating them so quickly?” I ask, not really expecting an answer.
    “The empress has an army of women down in the sewing rooms working on them,” Elizavetta says curtly. “By the end of the week, you’ll have a closet full of new gowns.”
    “The empress is very kind,” I say gently.
    Rina agrees. “That she is. And she’s quite fond of you.”
    “Of my family,” I correct her.
    “Oh, I don’t think it’s just that,” she says. “And Lord Peter certainly seems smitten.”
    Elizavetta snorts, and I frown.
    “Men can be quite fickle in their attentions. And quite cruel to delicate hearts,” I say, looking her in the eye. “You understand my position here, don’t you?”
    Elizavetta raises her chin boldly, her words like knives. “I understand that if you are unfit to wed Peter, another must be chosen.”
    I nod slowly. “And you must also realize that Peter will marry to secure an alliance, either with Prussia or Austria. Even now, there is a Saxon princess on her way to the palace to vie for his hand. Which of us wins will be determined by the empress and which country she chooses to make a treaty with. But either way, it will be one of us.”
    I say the words as gently as I can, but sternly enough so she realizes she’s not a second option, but a distant third at best.
    “You must understand, my lady.” Rina steps forward as Elizavetta backs away, her eyes swimming with unshed tears. “Since we were children, our parents have been bringing us to court. As soon as Peter was made heir, they began grooming Elizavetta as a potential bride for him. She’s been told that she was high in his esteem. Last night at the ball, when he lavished such attention on her, she thought…”
    I nod. “You thought he would go against his empress, choosing to marry for love and not politics.” I hold out my hand to Elizavetta and she takes it hesitantly, her already-round face puffy and red with emotion. “It is the dream of all women to marry a man we are deeply in love with, who is deeply in love with us. But we must also be practical.” Even as the words escape my mouth, I hear Alexander’s voice in my head.
    Love is never practical.
    I brush the thought aside. “Sometimes, we must learn to open our hearts and grow to love someone we think we might not be able to. It’s the lot of women, especially noble women. We are little more than property, bargaining chips, or chains that hold alliances together. That is the price we pay for our comfort, riches, and titles.”
    She snatches her