Read Online Provocative (Tempting Book 3) by Alex Lucian - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Alex Lucian
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leave the car and walk into the hospital.
But fuck. I was scared, down to my marrow.
The blood that pooled in my underwear was warm, and each movement I made caused it to pool in other places.
A rush of ice cold panic hit me. I pressed a hand between my legs, touched the wet that had leaked through my yoga pants. As I pulled my hand away, my jaw trembled the word “Fuck,” but sound itself escaped me.
Nathan had purchased a handful of books. The one thing I’d read earlier that week had said that once you hear a strong heartbeat, your chances of miscarriage dropped, drastically.
I couldn’t be losing a baby , I thought.
There’s a reason for this.
There has to be.
It’s normal.
Everything will be okay.
Somehow, I pushed myself out of the car, averting my eyes from the blood stain on the driver’s seat. The snow was still falling and I registered that it was bringing with it a certain kind of cold, a cold that didn’t seem to touch me in any deep way.
My fingers were wet with blood as I stepped into the emergency room and stared, my mind suddenly going blank.
“Miss?” someone asked.
Gray scrubs approached me, the lines of the uniform sharpening as they closed in.
“Can I help you?”
All I did was hold up my fingers and wrap my other hand over my belly. It was as if I was in a trance, my sensory input narrowed to the width of a needle. I tried to say something—but my tongue was a hundred pounds and dry.
Somehow, I found myself being gently pushed into a wheelchair. As I was pushed down the hallway, I took in the lights that flashed and dimmed above my head. I pressed a hand more firmly to my stomach, wanting to reach inside of me and hold onto the tiniest human I’d ever known.
More lights flickered and my head tipped down and blood kept leaking from my center.
I wanted Nathan.
* * *
T he doctor treating me was unknown. She held my hand and said a few words before a nurse came in and took a vial of my blood.
“Is there someone we can call for you?” the doctor gently asked. She still hadn’t told me what was going on.
I was finding my voice. “My boyfriend. He should be here soon.” But I had lost track of time itself since walking through the emergency room doors. How far away had he said he was?
Where was he? I thought of my phone, but didn’t pull it from my bag.
“We’re going to test your HCG levels, check your cervix, and perform an ultrasound. Is that alright with you?”
I nodded, because what else did she really expect me to say?
The nurse assisting the doctor pulled out a paper blanket.
“Undress from the waist down,” the doctor said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll be back in just a moment.”
I waited until the door clicked shut before I moved. My legs were like twin rubber bands as I stood and slowly lowered my pants. I was able to somewhat ignore the dark spot until I pulled down my white panties. The red was blooming, far worse than any period I’d had in recent memory.
I had a quick, irrational thought to press a hand to myself, if only to hold in whatever was sliding out of my body. Could I staunch the bleeding? Could I prevent the loss?
When I first learned I was pregnant, I had trouble accepting it. In fact, I had walked into my first obstetrician appointment having an emotional disconnect from the pregnancy. It wasn’t until I’d heard the heartbeat—and then watched the little blob squirm around the monitor—that it felt real. And more than real, it felt … right. I was having a baby with Nathan, a man I loved above all others.
Was this my penance for not accepting it right away?
I couldn’t accept I was losing the baby, my baby—not yet. Bleeding wasn’t uncommon in pregnancy. I’d read that in more than a few books.
But as I stared at the blood soaking my panties, I wondered what I was to do with them. Fold them up, tuck them somewhere? Throw them away?
No. The thought made my stomach clench and vomit press against the back
But fuck. I was scared, down to my marrow.
The blood that pooled in my underwear was warm, and each movement I made caused it to pool in other places.
A rush of ice cold panic hit me. I pressed a hand between my legs, touched the wet that had leaked through my yoga pants. As I pulled my hand away, my jaw trembled the word “Fuck,” but sound itself escaped me.
Nathan had purchased a handful of books. The one thing I’d read earlier that week had said that once you hear a strong heartbeat, your chances of miscarriage dropped, drastically.
I couldn’t be losing a baby , I thought.
There’s a reason for this.
There has to be.
It’s normal.
Everything will be okay.
Somehow, I pushed myself out of the car, averting my eyes from the blood stain on the driver’s seat. The snow was still falling and I registered that it was bringing with it a certain kind of cold, a cold that didn’t seem to touch me in any deep way.
My fingers were wet with blood as I stepped into the emergency room and stared, my mind suddenly going blank.
“Miss?” someone asked.
Gray scrubs approached me, the lines of the uniform sharpening as they closed in.
“Can I help you?”
All I did was hold up my fingers and wrap my other hand over my belly. It was as if I was in a trance, my sensory input narrowed to the width of a needle. I tried to say something—but my tongue was a hundred pounds and dry.
Somehow, I found myself being gently pushed into a wheelchair. As I was pushed down the hallway, I took in the lights that flashed and dimmed above my head. I pressed a hand more firmly to my stomach, wanting to reach inside of me and hold onto the tiniest human I’d ever known.
More lights flickered and my head tipped down and blood kept leaking from my center.
I wanted Nathan.
* * *
T he doctor treating me was unknown. She held my hand and said a few words before a nurse came in and took a vial of my blood.
“Is there someone we can call for you?” the doctor gently asked. She still hadn’t told me what was going on.
I was finding my voice. “My boyfriend. He should be here soon.” But I had lost track of time itself since walking through the emergency room doors. How far away had he said he was?
Where was he? I thought of my phone, but didn’t pull it from my bag.
“We’re going to test your HCG levels, check your cervix, and perform an ultrasound. Is that alright with you?”
I nodded, because what else did she really expect me to say?
The nurse assisting the doctor pulled out a paper blanket.
“Undress from the waist down,” the doctor said, putting a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll be back in just a moment.”
I waited until the door clicked shut before I moved. My legs were like twin rubber bands as I stood and slowly lowered my pants. I was able to somewhat ignore the dark spot until I pulled down my white panties. The red was blooming, far worse than any period I’d had in recent memory.
I had a quick, irrational thought to press a hand to myself, if only to hold in whatever was sliding out of my body. Could I staunch the bleeding? Could I prevent the loss?
When I first learned I was pregnant, I had trouble accepting it. In fact, I had walked into my first obstetrician appointment having an emotional disconnect from the pregnancy. It wasn’t until I’d heard the heartbeat—and then watched the little blob squirm around the monitor—that it felt real. And more than real, it felt … right. I was having a baby with Nathan, a man I loved above all others.
Was this my penance for not accepting it right away?
I couldn’t accept I was losing the baby, my baby—not yet. Bleeding wasn’t uncommon in pregnancy. I’d read that in more than a few books.
But as I stared at the blood soaking my panties, I wondered what I was to do with them. Fold them up, tuck them somewhere? Throw them away?
No. The thought made my stomach clench and vomit press against the back
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