Read Online Morningstar by S. L. Armstrong - Free Book Online Page B

hearing that statement from Almighty God. I looked up into the still warm, still loving eyes of the Lord and wondered at His thoughts and what it had taken for Him to say that to me. His gaze remained unknowable, though, and so I turned away.
    "Samael." His voice called to me.
    I turned back and realized that it was not the Father that had spoken to me, but the Son.
    Jesus stepped forward as He addressed me. "I know the strength and courage that it took for you to come here. This is still your home, Samael, and Radueriel's, too. Come and visit from time to time."
    Mysterious ways, indeed.

Pre-dawn light filters into our room, casting long shadows. I inch my way to the bed, my eyes intent on its occupant. I sit on the edge, and he rolls onto his back, his vibrant eyes opening. He smiles at me, a smile of sleepy happiness.
    "You saw Him," he says softly, reaching up to caress my cheek with the back of his hand.
    I nod. "I saw Him."
    "Did you finally decide what it is you want?" he asks, pulling me down so that we are nose to nose.
    I nod again. "I did."
    He giggles, a light-hearted, tinkling sound. "And what is it you have decided?"
    I kiss his nose, his cheeks, and then I kiss his lips, dipping my tongue into his mouth and tasting his sweetness. I sit back a bit and run my thumb along his lower lip, thinking of our Father and my own choices in every life I have lived. "I decided that what I want is you. In this world. Now and forever."
    Radueriel throws his arms around me, embracing me tightly as he laughs and cries, tugging me down to lie atop him. We fit together as we always have, ideally, perfectly, as if made for one another. A lock and a key.
    I believe now that God made us this way intentionally, only I was too blind to see.
    Perhaps that had been my sin, even more so than pride.
    As I explore his body and bury myself in his heat, I think about Heaven, Hell, Earth, God, angels, and myself. I think of my past, my present, and our future. As I find my release in him, I realize that I am happy. I am content. And I am in love.
    Milton once said, ''Tis better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven'. After all these years, I think I finally found something better than both.