Read Online Michelle Obama by David Colbert - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: David Colbert
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you sort of felt sorry for them because you knew it was just a matter of time before they were getting fired." Not much time, in fact. "She fired 'em fast," Craig said. There was always a reason, though it doesn't seem like the reason was always serious. "They'd do something and she'd say, 'That's it.'"
Michelle's explanation was that none of these boyfriends were as good as her father. She was waiting for someone who met the standard set by him. Her friends and family figured she'd be waiting a long time.
There was more to it, as there usually is. Sometimes her father's example was an excuse. When she was being tough on her boyfriends she was being tough on herself. She was trying to avoid making a mistake. Her perfectionist streak was coming out again. Like all perfectionists, a part of her worried that one wrong decision would mess up everything she'd accomplished. Anything that wasn't exactly right was totally wrong.
She also didn't want to get distracted by a boyfriend. As much as she wanted a familyâand she wanted one a lotâshe had worked hard to become a lawyer at Sidley, and there was more she wanted to do professionally.
All this gave her a hard shell. "My parents weren't very optimistic that I was going to find anybody who would put up with me," she told reporter Holly Yeager.
Then the summer associate who was supposedly a big deal arrived at the firm. Barack walked into her office and introduced himself.
Okay,
she thought.
His nose isn't so big.
She was already starting to soften.
He was also tall, she noticed. She liked that. Michelle is 5'11" in bare feet, and she wears heels that make her taller. Barack is 6'2".
He's actually not bad looking,
she thought.
Barack's first impression of her: "Lovely." As he recalled it in his memoir
The Audacity of Hope,
Michelle had "a friendly, professional manner that matched her tailored suit and blouse."
Michelle was already playing it cool. She had her reasons, and at least one of them made sense: She was supposed to be his mentor at the firm. It wasn't the same as being his boss, but it was a professional relationship. She didn't think it was right to mix that with a personal relationship. Less reasonable: They were both African American. "I thought, 'Now how would that look?'" she told David Mendell. "Here we are, the only two black people here, and we are dating? I'm thinking that looks pretty tacky."
They actually weren't the only two African Americans at the firm, though there weren't many in their positions. She was right that people would have noticed. But why did she suddenly care so much about what other people thought about her personal life? What was behind that vague word, "tacky," that she used to dismiss the idea? That was not a word she'd have used to describe any other two African Americans who were dating. She wouldn't even have thought it if Barack had been dating someone else at the firm.
It may have been something more than her usual instinct to stay free from relationships. Professionally, she was still a rarity: a female African American graduate of Harvard Law. She knew from experience that to be effective she needed to keep clients and colleagues focused on the part of her that was a lawyer. This was something her white female colleagues also had to do. For Michelle it went double.
Barack didn't give up asking for a date. Michelle resisted, but not because she wasn't interested. She made a "proclamation" to her mother: "I'm not worrying about dating ... I'm going to focus on me." Right.
She tried to deflect him by setting him up with her friends. He wasn't interested. She wasn't very disappointed.
Having fooled herself, Michelle thought she was doing a good job of hiding her feelings from everyone. But one of her colleagues, Mary Carragher, told biographer Liza Mundy that the courtship looked a little different from the outside. A few times Carragher would go to Michelle's office in the late afternoon and see Barack inside,
Michelle's explanation was that none of these boyfriends were as good as her father. She was waiting for someone who met the standard set by him. Her friends and family figured she'd be waiting a long time.
There was more to it, as there usually is. Sometimes her father's example was an excuse. When she was being tough on her boyfriends she was being tough on herself. She was trying to avoid making a mistake. Her perfectionist streak was coming out again. Like all perfectionists, a part of her worried that one wrong decision would mess up everything she'd accomplished. Anything that wasn't exactly right was totally wrong.
She also didn't want to get distracted by a boyfriend. As much as she wanted a familyâand she wanted one a lotâshe had worked hard to become a lawyer at Sidley, and there was more she wanted to do professionally.
All this gave her a hard shell. "My parents weren't very optimistic that I was going to find anybody who would put up with me," she told reporter Holly Yeager.
Then the summer associate who was supposedly a big deal arrived at the firm. Barack walked into her office and introduced himself.
Okay,
she thought.
His nose isn't so big.
She was already starting to soften.
He was also tall, she noticed. She liked that. Michelle is 5'11" in bare feet, and she wears heels that make her taller. Barack is 6'2".
He's actually not bad looking,
she thought.
Barack's first impression of her: "Lovely." As he recalled it in his memoir
The Audacity of Hope,
Michelle had "a friendly, professional manner that matched her tailored suit and blouse."
Michelle was already playing it cool. She had her reasons, and at least one of them made sense: She was supposed to be his mentor at the firm. It wasn't the same as being his boss, but it was a professional relationship. She didn't think it was right to mix that with a personal relationship. Less reasonable: They were both African American. "I thought, 'Now how would that look?'" she told David Mendell. "Here we are, the only two black people here, and we are dating? I'm thinking that looks pretty tacky."
They actually weren't the only two African Americans at the firm, though there weren't many in their positions. She was right that people would have noticed. But why did she suddenly care so much about what other people thought about her personal life? What was behind that vague word, "tacky," that she used to dismiss the idea? That was not a word she'd have used to describe any other two African Americans who were dating. She wouldn't even have thought it if Barack had been dating someone else at the firm.
It may have been something more than her usual instinct to stay free from relationships. Professionally, she was still a rarity: a female African American graduate of Harvard Law. She knew from experience that to be effective she needed to keep clients and colleagues focused on the part of her that was a lawyer. This was something her white female colleagues also had to do. For Michelle it went double.
Barack didn't give up asking for a date. Michelle resisted, but not because she wasn't interested. She made a "proclamation" to her mother: "I'm not worrying about dating ... I'm going to focus on me." Right.
She tried to deflect him by setting him up with her friends. He wasn't interested. She wasn't very disappointed.
Having fooled herself, Michelle thought she was doing a good job of hiding her feelings from everyone. But one of her colleagues, Mary Carragher, told biographer Liza Mundy that the courtship looked a little different from the outside. A few times Carragher would go to Michelle's office in the late afternoon and see Barack inside,
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