Read Online Mad About the Hatter by Dakota Chase - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Dakota Chase
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under his armpit, muttering all manner of foul epithets, shot him a black look, as if the entire incident were Hatter’s fault.
It was more than a little irritating. After all, who was down on the ground on his rear end, with a sore jaw and what felt like a loose tooth, and who was still standing upright? He struggled to his feet, still cupping his jaw. “What are you so angry about? I’m the one who got hit!”
That stopped Henry in his tracks. Without warning, he bellowed out a half-strangulated scream, and launched himself at Hatter. The combination of his weight and gravity flattened Hatter to the ground again.
Hatter struggled to free himself, but Henry kept him firmly pinned to the ground. Fear made his blood pound in his ears as he watched Henry raise a fist he knew from experience was rock hard. “Um, would you kindly consider not hitting me again? Teeth, sad to say, do not grow on trees. At least, not anymore they don’t, not since the Molar Wars, and I would have a dickens of a time trying to replace these.” He beamed a high-wattage smile at Henry.
“You made me go into the bottle. You made me drink that purple goop, when all the time you had the power to get big! Why? Why would you do that? What did I ever do to you?”
Hatter shook his head. “You misunderstand. Yes, I can work a little magic, but only on myself. Even I had to eat Caterpillar’s mushroom to get small. I don’t have the power to make you big. If I did, I would’ve done so back in the Red Anthill instead of risking your neck—and my own, might I add—escaping the way we did.”
“Well, then, why didn’t you get big and carry me out?”
Hatter blinked. “Because… because….” The question took him aback, mostly because he didn’t have an answer. He honestly just hadn’t thought of it, not that he would admit to it. It took him all of a half minute to regain his poise. “Because then you would’ve missed out on a Grand Adventure and an Important Lesson! Yes, that’s why! Of course, that’s why!” He finally succeeded in pushing Henry off and regaining his feet. He watched Henry out of the corner of his eyes while he brushed the dirt from his pants and coat, straightened his lapel, and tugged on his cuffs. “What sort of person would I be if I denied you such an experience?”
Henry snorted. “The kind that wouldn’t get slugged for making me drink that purple crap. Grand Adventure and Important Lesson? I can practically hear the capitalization. What a load of horse crap.” He looked away for a few moments, then turned back to Hatter. “I guess I owe you an apology. It’s just this place. It’s getting to me! First the caterpillar, then shrinking and falling, then the ants, then having to drink the purple slop….” He thrust his fingers into his hair, twisting the blond strands. “I’m still not even sure where I am or how I got here, never mind how to get back home!”
“Speaking of which, Caterpillar said you were asking for me.”
That made Henry blink again. “Um, yeah. Yes. The last thing I remember before blacking out was my sister telling me to look for the Mad Hatter. That’s you, right?”
“So it seems. Though there are many other creatures here that either claim to be mad or were proven so, I’m the only Hatter in Wonderland.”
All the air seemed to escape from Henry, leaving him looking as deflated as an old balloon. “So it’s true, then? This is Wonderland? Alice hasn’t been lying all these years?”
Hatter gave Henry’s shoulder a reassuring pat. “Lying? Why would you think that of your sister? For all that I disliked her and thought her dull, she was not one for spinning untruths. This is Wonderland, in all its topsy-turvy, insie-outsie, backward-frontsie glory.”
The expression on Henry’s face was blatantly defeated. “Great. So… what do I do now? How do I get home?”
Hatter smiled again and then winced at the pain in his jaw. “I’m so glad you asked. It just
It was more than a little irritating. After all, who was down on the ground on his rear end, with a sore jaw and what felt like a loose tooth, and who was still standing upright? He struggled to his feet, still cupping his jaw. “What are you so angry about? I’m the one who got hit!”
That stopped Henry in his tracks. Without warning, he bellowed out a half-strangulated scream, and launched himself at Hatter. The combination of his weight and gravity flattened Hatter to the ground again.
Hatter struggled to free himself, but Henry kept him firmly pinned to the ground. Fear made his blood pound in his ears as he watched Henry raise a fist he knew from experience was rock hard. “Um, would you kindly consider not hitting me again? Teeth, sad to say, do not grow on trees. At least, not anymore they don’t, not since the Molar Wars, and I would have a dickens of a time trying to replace these.” He beamed a high-wattage smile at Henry.
“You made me go into the bottle. You made me drink that purple goop, when all the time you had the power to get big! Why? Why would you do that? What did I ever do to you?”
Hatter shook his head. “You misunderstand. Yes, I can work a little magic, but only on myself. Even I had to eat Caterpillar’s mushroom to get small. I don’t have the power to make you big. If I did, I would’ve done so back in the Red Anthill instead of risking your neck—and my own, might I add—escaping the way we did.”
“Well, then, why didn’t you get big and carry me out?”
Hatter blinked. “Because… because….” The question took him aback, mostly because he didn’t have an answer. He honestly just hadn’t thought of it, not that he would admit to it. It took him all of a half minute to regain his poise. “Because then you would’ve missed out on a Grand Adventure and an Important Lesson! Yes, that’s why! Of course, that’s why!” He finally succeeded in pushing Henry off and regaining his feet. He watched Henry out of the corner of his eyes while he brushed the dirt from his pants and coat, straightened his lapel, and tugged on his cuffs. “What sort of person would I be if I denied you such an experience?”
Henry snorted. “The kind that wouldn’t get slugged for making me drink that purple crap. Grand Adventure and Important Lesson? I can practically hear the capitalization. What a load of horse crap.” He looked away for a few moments, then turned back to Hatter. “I guess I owe you an apology. It’s just this place. It’s getting to me! First the caterpillar, then shrinking and falling, then the ants, then having to drink the purple slop….” He thrust his fingers into his hair, twisting the blond strands. “I’m still not even sure where I am or how I got here, never mind how to get back home!”
“Speaking of which, Caterpillar said you were asking for me.”
That made Henry blink again. “Um, yeah. Yes. The last thing I remember before blacking out was my sister telling me to look for the Mad Hatter. That’s you, right?”
“So it seems. Though there are many other creatures here that either claim to be mad or were proven so, I’m the only Hatter in Wonderland.”
All the air seemed to escape from Henry, leaving him looking as deflated as an old balloon. “So it’s true, then? This is Wonderland? Alice hasn’t been lying all these years?”
Hatter gave Henry’s shoulder a reassuring pat. “Lying? Why would you think that of your sister? For all that I disliked her and thought her dull, she was not one for spinning untruths. This is Wonderland, in all its topsy-turvy, insie-outsie, backward-frontsie glory.”
The expression on Henry’s face was blatantly defeated. “Great. So… what do I do now? How do I get home?”
Hatter smiled again and then winced at the pain in his jaw. “I’m so glad you asked. It just
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