Lyttelton's Britain

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Authors: Iain Pattinson
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to bring all their others up to this standard.
    With the building of the cathedral, the city became a venue for Royal weddings. In 1002, Emma, the daughter of the Duke of Normandy, came to Winchester to marry Ethelred the Unready, who used the occasion to launch his unsuccessful range of torch batteries.
    By 1900 the mighty cathedral was subsiding and major repair work was required to its foundations. Reconstruction work was supervised by one Francis Fox, who was working on the London Underground. Luckily he was able to fit them in, as he only ever turned up to drive on the Northern Line two days a week. Investigation revealed the substructure had suffered a major fracture, but excavation holes constantly flooded with water. Fox therefore employed a diver called William Walker, whom he supervised with shouts of ‘Mind the gap’.
    The cathedral is today a major attraction and houses the 12th Century Winchester Bible, which is beautifully illuminated. This Christmas they’re hoping to get Ainsley Harriott to switch it on.
    Another famous name with local associations is that of JaneAusten, who is pictured in the city’s portrait gallery with her hair in a bun. That was the evidence that got her sacked from the Winchester Grill Burger Bar.

BASINGSTOKE

    T HE H AMPSHIRE TOWN of Basingstoke boasts an historical tapestry richly woven with culture. Evidence of an early settlement and its trading links may be seen at the town’s Willis Museum, which houses Roman pottery found at Silchester camp and a hoard of bronze and iron European coins, retrieved from Basingstoke’s parking meters.
    Pride of place in the town’s museum goes to the skull of a 300,000-year-old male, discovered locally in 1962. A primitive being with short legs and long arms, ‘Basingstoke Man’ is described by experts as genetically somewhere between ape and human. Sadly they don’t know anything about that old skull.
    The name ‘Basingstoke’ is first mentioned when William the Conqueror commissioned the Domesday Book, where it is described as a settlement with a population of some 200-odd people, but then the Normans could be a bit judgmental.

    The result of Britain’s first experiment into genetic modification holding a large marrow
    Basingstoke’s early prosperity was based on the production of wool. Sheep were raised locally, and their wool was cleaned by being beaten with a mixture of water and clay by large wooden hammers driven by watermills. Later, in a more enlightened age, it was decided to shear the sheep first.
    Basingstoke’s first hospital was founded in the early 13th Century and dedicated to St John the Baptist. However, medical treatment was crude in the extreme with amputations performed using a large, blunt axe, although a sharp one could be made available if you went private.
    Basingstoke saw its ultimate test with The Black Death of 1347, which left the town decimated. ‘’Tis a sight to vex the spirit: Them the Lord hath spared do move with hollow cheeks and eyes that are sunken unto their sockets. Broken are they with despair and the pity of their existence. A stillness most dreadful and ghostly doth cloak the whole town withal’, but other than those comments, the RAC Guide gives it two rosettes.
    In 1392 the town was destroyed by fire and had to be completely rebuilt. The king subsequently made the ‘good men’ of Basingstoke into a corporation, giving them the right to use his common seal, as the sensitive nostrils of amphibious mammals made them useful as smoke alarms.
    1657 saw the Basingstoke Witch Trials, where a woman named Goody Turner was found guilty of practising witchcraft. After surviving a ducking in the pond, an angry mob then tried to burn her at the stake, but she was too damp and kept going out. While they were drying her off, she asked for seventeen burglaries, two serious assaults and one attempted murder to be taken into account, so her sentence was reduced to community service.
    Nearby is the home

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