from? You see red on a guy? Blood. You hear them do that howl? Blood. They’re everywhere. And they know who we are. We run with them. We’re Blood too.”
She pulls me back to the bed and takes my hands. “Take the pill. Drink your juice. In five minutes, you won’t feel so scared.”
Kat’s eyes burn into me. Small beads of sweat dot her forehead. She grips my shoulders and kneels in front of me. “Please.”
“I ain’t a junkie,” I say, staring at the pill.
“Me neither,” she snaps.
I swallow it, gulping down the juice. Kat sighs deeply, rubs her forehead, and glances at the door like she’s making sure no one heard us. Like we’ve just escaped something terrible.
“Good girl,” she whispers, and arranges my braids, her eyes full of relief. “Good girl.”
Warmth. I begin to float away. Drift all soft and cozy. Like a hug. Kat here with me. I did a good job.
She looks like a cat. The way she walks.
Do I look like a peach?
I laugh and lie back on the bed, pull down the blanket, smush my face into the pillow.
“Will I remember?” I ask.
“Yeah. But you won’t mind so much. Sit up. And do what I do.”
Outside I can hear voices. Chuck and Little John sitting on their chairs. There’s a knock at my door. And I grin.
Grandpa’s coming.
12
2700 SURF AVENUE, APARTMENT 6B CONEY ISLAND, NEW YORK
June 30
She acts like a doctor, but she doesn’t look like one. Her hair is short, braided into uneven cornrows. She’s old—older than my mom, and fat. Behind her left ear is a red star tattoo. There’s another tattoo on her chest, peeking from underneath her white tank top. A saggy bug—maybe a bee—and two faded words I can’t make out. Devon leans against the doorway of the bedroom, watching us.
She uses her hands to examine me. My teeth, mytongue, my arms. I lift my shirt. Take a deep breath. She presses the bruise on my thigh.
“That hurt?” I shake my head no.
“Good. Lie down.”
She pushes my knees apart and looks between my legs. Devon types into his phone, a toothpick in his mouth. I fix my eyes on the ceiling, wishing she’d stop or I could just disappear. I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want her looking at my body.
“Anything hurt?”
I shake my head no. She lifts an eyebrow.
“You sure?”
I nod.
From her suitcase she pulls out a small plastic bag. Inside is something that looks like a bracelet, but soft and wet.
“I’m gonna put this inside you. Like a tampon. After three weeks, take it out and you’ll get your period. Understand? I’ll bring a new one every month. If you feel sick, or if you don’t bleed when you should, tell your daddy and he’ll call me. Deep breath.”
Fingers. Hold still. Where’s Baby?
“You know how to put on a condom?”
I shake my head no. Kat tried to show me last night, but I wouldn’t look.
“A’ight. Well, you gotta learn. Kat’ll teach you. Always use one, so you won’t catch nothin’. Understand? Tricks hate ’em, but too damn bad. They wanna freestyle, they can drive themselves down to the track. All done. Sit up. Take this.”
I swallow another half a pill and wait for the warmth.
Devon smiles. “All good?”
“All good,” she says, and grips his hand, their chests touching as Devon brings her in for a hug.
“Queen Bee,” he says with shining eyes.
He’s not wearing a shirt. On the left side of his broad chest is a red star. “Kat needs a re-up on Oxy.”
“A’ight.”
“C’mon,” he says to me. “Ink’s waitin’.”
I lie on the couch, the man’s sweaty face just inches from my chest, the buzzing needle tight between his fingers. It digs into my skin, burrowing like an insect. Buzz, buzz . Stop. Wipe. Buzz, buzz . Stop. Wipe. Dip. Buzz. Buzz .
Flecks of blood hit my cheeks.
“Damn, yo. This girl can bleed. She get high last night?”
Devon shrugs.
The man looks annoyed. “Can’t hardly see what the fuck I’m doin’ here.” Wipe, wipe. Buzz. Buzz . “Fuck.
She pulls me back to the bed and takes my hands. “Take the pill. Drink your juice. In five minutes, you won’t feel so scared.”
Kat’s eyes burn into me. Small beads of sweat dot her forehead. She grips my shoulders and kneels in front of me. “Please.”
“I ain’t a junkie,” I say, staring at the pill.
“Me neither,” she snaps.
I swallow it, gulping down the juice. Kat sighs deeply, rubs her forehead, and glances at the door like she’s making sure no one heard us. Like we’ve just escaped something terrible.
“Good girl,” she whispers, and arranges my braids, her eyes full of relief. “Good girl.”
Warmth. I begin to float away. Drift all soft and cozy. Like a hug. Kat here with me. I did a good job.
She looks like a cat. The way she walks.
Do I look like a peach?
I laugh and lie back on the bed, pull down the blanket, smush my face into the pillow.
“Will I remember?” I ask.
“Yeah. But you won’t mind so much. Sit up. And do what I do.”
Outside I can hear voices. Chuck and Little John sitting on their chairs. There’s a knock at my door. And I grin.
Grandpa’s coming.
12
2700 SURF AVENUE, APARTMENT 6B CONEY ISLAND, NEW YORK
June 30
She acts like a doctor, but she doesn’t look like one. Her hair is short, braided into uneven cornrows. She’s old—older than my mom, and fat. Behind her left ear is a red star tattoo. There’s another tattoo on her chest, peeking from underneath her white tank top. A saggy bug—maybe a bee—and two faded words I can’t make out. Devon leans against the doorway of the bedroom, watching us.
She uses her hands to examine me. My teeth, mytongue, my arms. I lift my shirt. Take a deep breath. She presses the bruise on my thigh.
“That hurt?” I shake my head no.
“Good. Lie down.”
She pushes my knees apart and looks between my legs. Devon types into his phone, a toothpick in his mouth. I fix my eyes on the ceiling, wishing she’d stop or I could just disappear. I don’t want him to see me like this. I don’t want her looking at my body.
“Anything hurt?”
I shake my head no. She lifts an eyebrow.
“You sure?”
I nod.
From her suitcase she pulls out a small plastic bag. Inside is something that looks like a bracelet, but soft and wet.
“I’m gonna put this inside you. Like a tampon. After three weeks, take it out and you’ll get your period. Understand? I’ll bring a new one every month. If you feel sick, or if you don’t bleed when you should, tell your daddy and he’ll call me. Deep breath.”
Fingers. Hold still. Where’s Baby?
“You know how to put on a condom?”
I shake my head no. Kat tried to show me last night, but I wouldn’t look.
“A’ight. Well, you gotta learn. Kat’ll teach you. Always use one, so you won’t catch nothin’. Understand? Tricks hate ’em, but too damn bad. They wanna freestyle, they can drive themselves down to the track. All done. Sit up. Take this.”
I swallow another half a pill and wait for the warmth.
Devon smiles. “All good?”
“All good,” she says, and grips his hand, their chests touching as Devon brings her in for a hug.
“Queen Bee,” he says with shining eyes.
He’s not wearing a shirt. On the left side of his broad chest is a red star. “Kat needs a re-up on Oxy.”
“A’ight.”
“C’mon,” he says to me. “Ink’s waitin’.”
I lie on the couch, the man’s sweaty face just inches from my chest, the buzzing needle tight between his fingers. It digs into my skin, burrowing like an insect. Buzz, buzz . Stop. Wipe. Buzz, buzz . Stop. Wipe. Dip. Buzz. Buzz .
Flecks of blood hit my cheeks.
“Damn, yo. This girl can bleed. She get high last night?”
Devon shrugs.
The man looks annoyed. “Can’t hardly see what the fuck I’m doin’ here.” Wipe, wipe. Buzz. Buzz . “Fuck.
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