the slow season and she didn’t feel too guilty taking the time off so she could sort through her life.
Axel was right, she needed to plan better and she was going to start right away. Once she had the rose farm affairs straighten out with Carlos and Fran, who were happy to keep things on track, she dashed to her house. She didn’t want to take any chances of seeing Andrew and he never arrived home before the afternoon. On the way to her house, she broke the law talking on her cell phone to set up an appointment to see a lawyer that Ronan had recommended.
After she hung up she wondered if Axel would be using the same man. She gazed unseeing up at her house as she pulled in the driveway. Kiki and Andrew might never know she and Axel were using the same lawyer. They might never know they were together in this. Somehow those thoughts made her feel better. Kind of like ...
“Take that!” she snapped. “They deserve it, and Axel and I will be stronger because of it.”
She could feel it, every time she started to slump into despair, she thought of him. Axel was there with her ... she wasn’t alone. Andrew wasn’t getting the upper hand this time. Any guilt she felt about getting too close to Axel, too fast, was tiny compared to the betrayal and bitterness she felt over Andrew cheating on their marriage.
She’d never considered being close to another man before the infidelity. She was faithful and planned to be her entire marriage. Happy or not, bumps in the marriage road or not, she’d planned to stay wedded to Andrew until death.
Or maybe she’d just been stubbornly denying how much she wanted out. Out of Andrew’s constant indifference, out of his separateness pushing her to the side, and out of his bed.
Liv clasped a hand over her mouth in surprise — as if she’d spoken the words aloud, and hadn’t just thought them. She cringed, shaking her head. But it was true. Guilt swept through her. Maybe it was her fault Andrew didn’t want to have sex with her? If she’d dressed fancier and tried to be more sophisticated with country club style, maybe then Andrew would have found her attractive? He’d have at least tried to romance her as if he cared.
Tears burned her eyes. The last time they’d had sex it had lasted less than ten minutes, and then Andrew had rolled out of bed without kissing her, to go golfing.
Liv dropped her hand to her side. “But I let him.” She’d not stopped him or tried to make it better between them or make it more intimate. She’d just let him go ... glad it was over so quickly.
Pictures flashed through her mind of Andrew kissing Kiki; of Andrew pressing Kiki over the hood of his car. So passionately.
She banged the steering wheel. “Maybe if that’s how he acted with me, then I’d want him!”
No, she wasn’t going to take all the blame for this — she wasn’t going to think she could have done better. It took two people to make a marriage work.
Determined to stop wallowing, she wiped away her tears and climbed out of her car. She was going to pack and leave Andrew a note saying that she needed some space to think, because she was unhappy with their marriage. The sad truth was she knew Andrew wouldn’t even come looking for her or become upset and demand she come back home. She knew he’d go straight to Kiki, thinking how lucky he was getting time away from his wife.
When Liv entered the house she looked at everything inside it in a different light. She wondered if she could see hints of cheating there. Now that she knew. It was stupid, however everywhere she went; to get a suitcase, her clothes, and her bathroom supplies — she looked for evidence.
Was there something in Andrew’s tossed off dirty clothes she could find? She barely caught herself from rifling through them. Were there condoms in his bathroom supplies or sexy oils used for an affair? Could she check their phone bill for phone calls?
“God!” She used it more as a cuss word than a supplication
Axel was right, she needed to plan better and she was going to start right away. Once she had the rose farm affairs straighten out with Carlos and Fran, who were happy to keep things on track, she dashed to her house. She didn’t want to take any chances of seeing Andrew and he never arrived home before the afternoon. On the way to her house, she broke the law talking on her cell phone to set up an appointment to see a lawyer that Ronan had recommended.
After she hung up she wondered if Axel would be using the same man. She gazed unseeing up at her house as she pulled in the driveway. Kiki and Andrew might never know she and Axel were using the same lawyer. They might never know they were together in this. Somehow those thoughts made her feel better. Kind of like ...
“Take that!” she snapped. “They deserve it, and Axel and I will be stronger because of it.”
She could feel it, every time she started to slump into despair, she thought of him. Axel was there with her ... she wasn’t alone. Andrew wasn’t getting the upper hand this time. Any guilt she felt about getting too close to Axel, too fast, was tiny compared to the betrayal and bitterness she felt over Andrew cheating on their marriage.
She’d never considered being close to another man before the infidelity. She was faithful and planned to be her entire marriage. Happy or not, bumps in the marriage road or not, she’d planned to stay wedded to Andrew until death.
Or maybe she’d just been stubbornly denying how much she wanted out. Out of Andrew’s constant indifference, out of his separateness pushing her to the side, and out of his bed.
Liv clasped a hand over her mouth in surprise — as if she’d spoken the words aloud, and hadn’t just thought them. She cringed, shaking her head. But it was true. Guilt swept through her. Maybe it was her fault Andrew didn’t want to have sex with her? If she’d dressed fancier and tried to be more sophisticated with country club style, maybe then Andrew would have found her attractive? He’d have at least tried to romance her as if he cared.
Tears burned her eyes. The last time they’d had sex it had lasted less than ten minutes, and then Andrew had rolled out of bed without kissing her, to go golfing.
Liv dropped her hand to her side. “But I let him.” She’d not stopped him or tried to make it better between them or make it more intimate. She’d just let him go ... glad it was over so quickly.
Pictures flashed through her mind of Andrew kissing Kiki; of Andrew pressing Kiki over the hood of his car. So passionately.
She banged the steering wheel. “Maybe if that’s how he acted with me, then I’d want him!”
No, she wasn’t going to take all the blame for this — she wasn’t going to think she could have done better. It took two people to make a marriage work.
Determined to stop wallowing, she wiped away her tears and climbed out of her car. She was going to pack and leave Andrew a note saying that she needed some space to think, because she was unhappy with their marriage. The sad truth was she knew Andrew wouldn’t even come looking for her or become upset and demand she come back home. She knew he’d go straight to Kiki, thinking how lucky he was getting time away from his wife.
When Liv entered the house she looked at everything inside it in a different light. She wondered if she could see hints of cheating there. Now that she knew. It was stupid, however everywhere she went; to get a suitcase, her clothes, and her bathroom supplies — she looked for evidence.
Was there something in Andrew’s tossed off dirty clothes she could find? She barely caught herself from rifling through them. Were there condoms in his bathroom supplies or sexy oils used for an affair? Could she check their phone bill for phone calls?
“God!” She used it more as a cuss word than a supplication
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