to think Jay would be with you.”
If they’re driving back now, they should have found Jay in the van and know he’s not with me. My stomach drops as though I’m in a lift that’s descending too fast.
“I left Jay in Liam’s van,” I say, a shudder running through me. “He should be in Liam’s van.”
“Maybe he went for a walk?”
I shake my head, scrubbing my face with my hands. I need to get it together. “He wouldn’t. He worries about going to new places on his own. He has no depth perception because of his eye. He just wouldn’t. And where would he go out here?”
“He’s what… fifteen now?”
“Yeah.” I feel hollowed out.
“He’ll be okay. We’ll ask round the camp in a bit, see if he crashed with anyone, alright?”
Holding on to the wall, I stand up. Jay’s hangover has got to be just as bad as mine. I don’t want to think about how drunk he was last night after I passed out, what he might have done. This is my fault.
“Come on, I’ll see if I can find you some clothes to wear.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, pulling the towel higher up my skinny chest.
After pulling most of the clothes out of his chest of drawers, I end up in a pair of oil-stained gray sweatpants and a ratty black T-shirt. Everything else is too big, because although we’re just about the same height, I’m quite a bit skinnier. But I don’t care what the clothes look like when the smell of them is part engine oil, part Malachi.
“We’ll go talk to Shane first,” Malachi says, opening the front door.
It’s much later than I thought, the sun is high over our heads, and it’s starting to get hard to hold my anxiety in check. Anything could have happened to Jay.
Malachi clicks his fingers at Maisie as she lies in the shade by the side of the van. She comes at once, tail wagging. I rub my knuckle across her head, wondering for the first time exactly what happened last night and how I ended up in Malachi’s van.
Shane’s caravan is opposite. Shane sits outside on the front step, his skin reddening in the hot sun.
“I didn’t see any kid, but everyone was smoking in Finn’s van last night as far as I know,” Shane says, yawning and stretching his massive chest. I know I should look away, but I can’t.
Some wordless communication seems to pass between him and Malachi before Shane pulls on a pair of flip-flops and stands up.
The once-lush grass is dying in the heat of the sun. Shane walks across it in front of me and hammers on Finn’s door. The sound of his fist thuds dully against the hot plastic. Scraping the toe of my knackered Converse across the hard, dusty earth, I tell myself I don’t even care about seeing Finn anymore. I just want to know where Jay is. Malachi hangs back with Maisie.
Obviously hungover, Finn squints at us in the too bright light.
“Yeah…?” he says, looking from Shane to me.
If Finn’s surprised to see me, he doesn’t show it. He even gives me the ghost of a smile, but I don’t return it.
“Chris’s brother Jay in there with you?” Shane asks much louder than he needs to, causing Finn to wince a little. I’m beginning to really like Shane.
“Um… don’t think so. Pixie… Jay with you?” Finn calls into the van, looking round for anyone crashed out on the floor.
Pixie emerges from the van’s only bedroom with Logan, his arm slung round her shoulder. The both of them are half-undressed. Finn doesn’t seem bothered or surprised. “Nah, he’s not here…. What’s going on?”
“Just trying to find out where he is,” Shane says in the most nonchalant tone possible before walking off towards the next van.
“Hey,” Finn reaches out before I can step away, his fingers closing round my arm. “Everything alright, Chris?”
I force myself to nod, but I’m brittle and tense, and he can see I’m not all right. His eyes search my face, his expression genuinely concerned.
“Is your brother missing? What happened?”
I suddenly feel like I’m going to
If they’re driving back now, they should have found Jay in the van and know he’s not with me. My stomach drops as though I’m in a lift that’s descending too fast.
“I left Jay in Liam’s van,” I say, a shudder running through me. “He should be in Liam’s van.”
“Maybe he went for a walk?”
I shake my head, scrubbing my face with my hands. I need to get it together. “He wouldn’t. He worries about going to new places on his own. He has no depth perception because of his eye. He just wouldn’t. And where would he go out here?”
“He’s what… fifteen now?”
“Yeah.” I feel hollowed out.
“He’ll be okay. We’ll ask round the camp in a bit, see if he crashed with anyone, alright?”
Holding on to the wall, I stand up. Jay’s hangover has got to be just as bad as mine. I don’t want to think about how drunk he was last night after I passed out, what he might have done. This is my fault.
“Come on, I’ll see if I can find you some clothes to wear.”
“Thanks,” I mumble, pulling the towel higher up my skinny chest.
After pulling most of the clothes out of his chest of drawers, I end up in a pair of oil-stained gray sweatpants and a ratty black T-shirt. Everything else is too big, because although we’re just about the same height, I’m quite a bit skinnier. But I don’t care what the clothes look like when the smell of them is part engine oil, part Malachi.
“We’ll go talk to Shane first,” Malachi says, opening the front door.
It’s much later than I thought, the sun is high over our heads, and it’s starting to get hard to hold my anxiety in check. Anything could have happened to Jay.
Malachi clicks his fingers at Maisie as she lies in the shade by the side of the van. She comes at once, tail wagging. I rub my knuckle across her head, wondering for the first time exactly what happened last night and how I ended up in Malachi’s van.
Shane’s caravan is opposite. Shane sits outside on the front step, his skin reddening in the hot sun.
“I didn’t see any kid, but everyone was smoking in Finn’s van last night as far as I know,” Shane says, yawning and stretching his massive chest. I know I should look away, but I can’t.
Some wordless communication seems to pass between him and Malachi before Shane pulls on a pair of flip-flops and stands up.
The once-lush grass is dying in the heat of the sun. Shane walks across it in front of me and hammers on Finn’s door. The sound of his fist thuds dully against the hot plastic. Scraping the toe of my knackered Converse across the hard, dusty earth, I tell myself I don’t even care about seeing Finn anymore. I just want to know where Jay is. Malachi hangs back with Maisie.
Obviously hungover, Finn squints at us in the too bright light.
“Yeah…?” he says, looking from Shane to me.
If Finn’s surprised to see me, he doesn’t show it. He even gives me the ghost of a smile, but I don’t return it.
“Chris’s brother Jay in there with you?” Shane asks much louder than he needs to, causing Finn to wince a little. I’m beginning to really like Shane.
“Um… don’t think so. Pixie… Jay with you?” Finn calls into the van, looking round for anyone crashed out on the floor.
Pixie emerges from the van’s only bedroom with Logan, his arm slung round her shoulder. The both of them are half-undressed. Finn doesn’t seem bothered or surprised. “Nah, he’s not here…. What’s going on?”
“Just trying to find out where he is,” Shane says in the most nonchalant tone possible before walking off towards the next van.
“Hey,” Finn reaches out before I can step away, his fingers closing round my arm. “Everything alright, Chris?”
I force myself to nod, but I’m brittle and tense, and he can see I’m not all right. His eyes search my face, his expression genuinely concerned.
“Is your brother missing? What happened?”
I suddenly feel like I’m going to
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