Most of them are my friends. You wouldnât even know them if it wasnât for me.â
We were off and running for hours, rehashing every other argument weâd ever had about our friends, our living arrangements, our busy schedules, and our future. By the time I slammed out of his apartment, we both knew weâd said things we shouldnât have, things that couldnât be taken back.
I didnât care what he told our friends. Or his friends, as heâd pointed out to me, insisting that my life consisted of little more than my job, my business acquaintances, my gym, and my tendency to live through him. I resolved to keep my mouth shut, especially to Sheila. I was sick of performing the Blaine and Daniel Show for an audience. Iâd always tried to have a real relationship with him, not some gay version of Secret Splendor, and I had no intention of turning it into a melodrama just because it was over.
âDo you have any idea how much tension youâre holding in your jaw?â Gavin asked. âYou obviously work out. Do you have a trainer? Because heâor sheâcould recommend some exercises or body work that would help bring down your stress level.â
âI donât have a trainer,â I said.
âMaybe you should. Where do you live?â
âNew York. Manhattan.â
âOh, God, I miss Manhattan. I know a couple of people I could recommend, if youâre interested in working with someone. You should take better care of yourself. What do you do?â
âIâm in advertising.â
âReally? Maybe youâve heard of my old boss. Lowell Davenport.â
âOf course. He was a Madison Avenue legend. You worked for him? What did you do?â
âI started as his trainer,â Gavin said. âBy the time he died, I guess I was just about everything to him. It was a big scandal that he had AIDS. A lot of his old friends and colleagues abandoned him. Youâd think, as gay men, weâd be beyond that after two decades, but advertisingâs a cutthroat world. No wonder youâre so tense.â
Gavinâs gaydar was apparently more finely tuned than mine, since he assumed I was gay and Iâd had no idea he was.
âI never met Lowell,â I said, âbut he was one of the people I studied. He reinvented advertising in the seventies. What kind of person was he?â
âHe was a class act. I adored him. I helped him as he deteriorated physically. Cooked for him. Took care of whatever needs he had. He jokingly called me his manservant, but we were really friends, especially at the end. He took care of me, too. His fortune was pretty well depleted, but he left me the money that helped me set up my practice. But I was so tired of people dying. Sometimes you just want to run away, you know?â
âYeah, I know.â
âMy family is here. Outside Baltimore. So I came home. But now that time has passed, I find myself wishing I was back in Manhattan. Itâs just so expensive to live there.â
âYouâre really good. I probably seemed to be a million miles away, but itâs because for the first time I felt relaxed enough to think about things Iâve been avoiding.â
âYouâre going to be sore, in spite of the fact that youâre in great shape. You released a lot of tension. Drink twice as much water as you usually do. Add fresh papaya and pineapple to your diet. And do think about working with a trainer.â
âYouâre hired,â I said, only half joking. Gavin laughed and handed me my robe. âSeriously, give me your card.â I, in turn, took one of my business cards from my wallet when I paid him. âIf you fax me your references, and youâre genuinely interested in moving back to Manhattan, we can discuss it.â
While Gavin took down his table, I thought it over. If Gavin sent me his references and they checked out, I could offer him a job similar to the
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