alike.â But I craved that sense of belonging and I had a perfectly reasonable membership claim to precisely this imaginary clique.
Iâd also run aground a little, with
Chez Panisse Vegetables
. Having finished all the soups, salads, and pastas, Iâd been looking at a hundred-plus vegetable side dishes. Liz rightly wondered, during one dinner I made for friends, why anybody outside prefamine Ireland would serve a banquet consisting of potato pasta, potato gratin, a side of sautéed potato slices, and a platter of roasted fingerling potatoes. Unwilling to repeat dishes, I therefore neededa new raft of mains for my recipe-ticking mania. The
Chez Panisse Café Cookbook
, which I already owned, offered an obvious first step toward a solution. âWe have paid special attention to the ingredients we left out of â¦
Vegetables
,â Alice wrote, also in that introduction: âfish and shellfish, meat and poultry, eggs and cheese.â In short, everything a man wanted to eat. Simply in broadening my mission, I realized, and redefining it as an assault on the entire Chez Panisse cookbook oeuvre, I could squeeze through this frightening little bottleneck by combining mains from the
Café
book and even others, like
Chez Panisse Cooking
, by longtime Chez Panisse chef Paul Bertolli, with all the
Vegetables
outliers. And thatâs how I fell truly under Aliceâs spell, her vision of a broader communityâPaul Bertolli among its leading lights, along with various other cookbook authorsâliving the grand Chez Panisse lifestyle.
âOne of my partners had befriended a farm family in Amador County in the Sierra foothills who kept a few hogs and who had agreed to supply us with suckling pigs,â Alice writes, and so I showed up at the Marin Sun Farms booth at the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market, and I tried to befriend the poor rancher while I scored the goods for Long-Cooked Pork Shoulder, Simple Cured Pork Chops, and Roast Pork Loin with Rosemary and Fennel. Somebody named Nancy Warner and her family, according to Alice, slept outdoors âwith the chickens to protect them from attacks by coyotes and roaming packs of dogs,â and who wouldnât like to feel that a slumber party might replace cyanide-laced deer carcasses and government âpredator controlâ specialists? And, thus, I bought âpasturedâ Marin Sun Farms chickens for Pollo al Mattone with Lemon and Garlic, Chicken Ballotine with Chanterelles, and Grilled Chicken Breasts au Poivre. Nobody made business arrangements in Aliceâs new/old Berkeley; they befriendedpeople. The restaurant didnât offer anything as tawdry as seasonal specials; it just hewed to âcherished traditionsâ like âserving spring lambs from the Dal Porto Ranch,â as if Alice and company were a big collective grail knight, bringing bourgeois fertility to blighted modern America.
Now weâre really living, see, especially with Hannah crossing some developmental milestone bringing the world beyond Mommy into focus. Precocious talker and tentative walker, she took notice first of the dog, discovering that this hairy animal really was on Hannahâs and Mommyâs team, a part of their tribe; but next in line came the dawning awareness that a third human being lived in the house. Soon, my cuddles, once utterly useless at calming Hannah, acquired a modest but accelerating effect on her tantrums; my pancakes began to elicit a cautious interest, especially when she got me to serve the syrup on the side, in a little cream pitcher, so she could drink it all in one gulp. Thus, all the non-remunerative time required for all-
Café
dinners like Duck Legs Braised in Zinfandel, Grilled Endives with Sauce Gribiche, and Lindseyâs Chocolate Cake with Sicilian Sabayon felt not like evasionânot like running from the Great American Novel I knew Iâd have to abandon, sometime soonâso much as celebration, insistence
Roger Zelazny
Sibella Giorello
K. W. Matthews
Sherry Shahan
Jan Hambright
Catherine McKenzie
Meghan Quinn
Joy Fielding
Katie Reus
Julie Smith, Tony Dunbar