Read Online Give Me Everything You Have: On Being Stalked by James Lasdun - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: James Lasdun
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you kill all of “us” what will you do? everything you have is stolen … there will be nothing left to steal!
Subj: Fwd: Re: (more notes on your sadistic world)
To: [Sandy]
… I was begging for help. And fine, who the fuck am I? A former student, someone he could get a little “lift” from in the midst of his mid-life … Fine, but it hurts to see that he thinks me worthy of something to steal but not to support in any real way for it to be my own.
Subj: why do I bother forwarding this shit?
To: [her English academic]
James. He’s an innocent bystander. It’s almost as if he just walked past a window and I manipulatively called down for help. “Sir … Sir?”
Look, muslims are not like their Jewish counterparts, who quietly got gassed and then cashed in on it … my people are crazy motherfuckers and there will be hell to pay for what your people have done to them …
Subj: signs of the end of the world …
began with Janice’s limping.
why the fuck did you send me to her? was this supposed to be a joke on me? an inside jew-joke?
ha ha ha ha! So nice of you. And I’m a psychotic jaywalker because I believe in God and haven’t sold my soul to American cash?
you couldn’t have, without all the bullshit (incestuously paid-for) rave reviews you get, found me an agent to work with?
[…]
You steal.
You steal.
You steal.
Call it antisemitism, I call what you do arrogance and I call it disgusting.
Subj: I want my money back …
For the term you “taught me” and for the term you were my “advisor” but couldn’t even remember to bring me my work.
Subj: apologies …
I hope you don’t take anything I say seriously. I understand everyone is too chickenshit to help an insane woman. And no, I don’t expect you to pay me for what you stole. it happens all the time and why should you care about my nervous breakdowns? I never even fucked you …
Subj: a real, unpsychotic note
[…]
You are a kind man, James. I don’t think you’re the caricature of a white man but I’m hoping I’ve pissed you off. It brings color to the cheeks.
Mr. Horned God.
So tacky!
Subj: surrender …
you must be so perplexed.
i’m hoping my mean-streak doesn’t lend itself to calling your management company and telling them you rent the apartment out on weekends. I would. I hope I don’t. I really firmly believe that you need to absolve your guilt by giving me your keys.
[…]
(I hope I’m scaring you slightly. That would be exciting.)
I also believe you are on medication instead of dealing with why you and most Jewish people are sadistic. That is why your writing falls flat.
Subj: Harriet too … you fucked her too?
Is that right?
Well, I almost feel sorry for her because she obviously went from being a good writer to turning in nothing and you stole her writing too … in that story. You stole from everyone in our class.
[…]
I don’t feel that bad for her. She was another vicious, overly competitive Jewess …
I wish ill health and disaster …
for you and your family.
Baruch adonai,
Nasreen
jews in america
need to shut up. the crazy shit that comes out of your mouths spreads far and wide in a city filled with blacks, muslims and asians who’ve had it: This sort of projection doesn’t work and all of you pussies who sit around writing stupid shit and stealing from little girls are just as much to blame.
[…]
Go forward this to the anti-defamation league. They’re criminals too …
* * *
So the summer continued.
I was bewildered, stunned, appalled, but at this time I didn’t take the actual content of the emails very deeply to heart. I regarded the outburst as something entirely freakish: an eruption of irrational fury that, unpleasant as it was to witness, had nothing to do with me personally. It would end soon, I believed, either in silence or in a mortified apology (a genuine one that would unconditionally retract all the false accusations instead of reserving the right, as her occasional
Subj: Fwd: Re: (more notes on your sadistic world)
To: [Sandy]
… I was begging for help. And fine, who the fuck am I? A former student, someone he could get a little “lift” from in the midst of his mid-life … Fine, but it hurts to see that he thinks me worthy of something to steal but not to support in any real way for it to be my own.
Subj: why do I bother forwarding this shit?
To: [her English academic]
James. He’s an innocent bystander. It’s almost as if he just walked past a window and I manipulatively called down for help. “Sir … Sir?”
Look, muslims are not like their Jewish counterparts, who quietly got gassed and then cashed in on it … my people are crazy motherfuckers and there will be hell to pay for what your people have done to them …
Subj: signs of the end of the world …
began with Janice’s limping.
why the fuck did you send me to her? was this supposed to be a joke on me? an inside jew-joke?
ha ha ha ha! So nice of you. And I’m a psychotic jaywalker because I believe in God and haven’t sold my soul to American cash?
you couldn’t have, without all the bullshit (incestuously paid-for) rave reviews you get, found me an agent to work with?
[…]
You steal.
You steal.
You steal.
Call it antisemitism, I call what you do arrogance and I call it disgusting.
Subj: I want my money back …
For the term you “taught me” and for the term you were my “advisor” but couldn’t even remember to bring me my work.
Subj: apologies …
I hope you don’t take anything I say seriously. I understand everyone is too chickenshit to help an insane woman. And no, I don’t expect you to pay me for what you stole. it happens all the time and why should you care about my nervous breakdowns? I never even fucked you …
Subj: a real, unpsychotic note
[…]
You are a kind man, James. I don’t think you’re the caricature of a white man but I’m hoping I’ve pissed you off. It brings color to the cheeks.
Mr. Horned God.
So tacky!
Subj: surrender …
you must be so perplexed.
i’m hoping my mean-streak doesn’t lend itself to calling your management company and telling them you rent the apartment out on weekends. I would. I hope I don’t. I really firmly believe that you need to absolve your guilt by giving me your keys.
[…]
(I hope I’m scaring you slightly. That would be exciting.)
I also believe you are on medication instead of dealing with why you and most Jewish people are sadistic. That is why your writing falls flat.
Subj: Harriet too … you fucked her too?
Is that right?
Well, I almost feel sorry for her because she obviously went from being a good writer to turning in nothing and you stole her writing too … in that story. You stole from everyone in our class.
[…]
I don’t feel that bad for her. She was another vicious, overly competitive Jewess …
I wish ill health and disaster …
for you and your family.
Baruch adonai,
Nasreen
jews in america
need to shut up. the crazy shit that comes out of your mouths spreads far and wide in a city filled with blacks, muslims and asians who’ve had it: This sort of projection doesn’t work and all of you pussies who sit around writing stupid shit and stealing from little girls are just as much to blame.
[…]
Go forward this to the anti-defamation league. They’re criminals too …
* * *
So the summer continued.
I was bewildered, stunned, appalled, but at this time I didn’t take the actual content of the emails very deeply to heart. I regarded the outburst as something entirely freakish: an eruption of irrational fury that, unpleasant as it was to witness, had nothing to do with me personally. It would end soon, I believed, either in silence or in a mortified apology (a genuine one that would unconditionally retract all the false accusations instead of reserving the right, as her occasional
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