tracing the outline of the slabs. There was a small crack over by the coat stand, and as I focused on it, I realized that I could distinguish every speck of dirt and dust trapped inside it.
âItâs all clear. I didnât mean to worry you. Better to be safe than sorry,â Ruadhan said, locking his arm into mine as he escorted me down the driveway.
It was still very frosty, and the subzero temperature had caused the rain from the night before to form a skating rink across the pavement. I followed the outline of the riverbank and a large bridge appeared in the distance. It reminded me of something from a travel guide, and I took a second to breathe in the freshness of the morning once again. I looked up toward the sky, but the sun was hidden behind light gray clouds.
âWhere are we going?â I inquired as we began making our way down the lane, passing the last of the local stores.
Ruadhan pawed at the stubble on his chin. âIâm not sure.â
We strolled alongside the riverbank for a while. Ruadhan seemed consumed in private thought. We walked past a sign that read âMill Meadows,â and Ruadhan nudged me toward the gate of the park, eyeing a bench next to the pathway.
âAre you all right?â I asked.
Ruadhan uncoiled a scarf from around his neck, placing it down for me to sit on, and I smiled at his chivalry. I took a seat next to him. The park was tranquil as the trees that bordered it swayed gently in the soft breeze.
âIâm so sorry about what happened on the mountain, Lailah,â Ruadhan finally began.
I shifted uncomfortably. âItâs okay. You didnât know. I hadnât known. Iâm sorry I didnât tell you who I was before Azrael did.â I had just as much to apologize forâperhaps more. When Ruadhan had pushed Ethanâs sword through my chest, he thought he was ending a Pureblood; he hadnât a clue that the girl in shadow was me. I had deliberately kept my past from himâeverything, including my real name. Gabriel had thought it was safer to keep the little we did know about me a secret while he searched for the answers to what we didnât.
âI care about you, love. I only want you to be happy,â Ruadhan said, scratching the tops of his legs.
âI know that.â I was so lucky to have someone like Ruadhan in my life. I couldnât lose him. âRuadhan, what did you mean about Gabriel finishing you properly?â
âOh, little love. I told you once before, I had a debt to repay to Gabriel for saving me. But now he has found what he was looking for, he doesnât need me anymore. And so, I have asked him to end me before you leave together.â Ruadhan didnât look at me, instead choosing to stare out over the Thames.
I stifled a gasp. âNo, Ruadhan, just because weâre leaving doesnât mean you shouldnât go on. I donât care what you say, you donât deserve to die; thereâs nothing for you in death.â
âI donât fear death, Lailah.â His words were smooth as he continued to stare out at the river.
âYou should,â I shot back.
Ruadhan finally turned to face me, taking my hands in his. He squeezed them as he attempted to reassure me.
But I wasnât reassured. He needed to understand. âBefore you tell me your life has already been taken, let me be clear. You are not dead. You should cling to the existence you have, because there is nothing for you after this.â¦â
âYouâre right, love, and I know I cannot change the color of my soul. But Gabriel will afford me one final moment of light.â His voice dropped into a low whisper. âAnd even though it will be but a single moment, itâs one in which the Devil will no longer own me. I will know my God again. I will find peace.â He cleared his throat. âWith no purpose left here, why would I cling to what I have becomeâto this ?â
I
Eva Slipwood
E. D. Brady
Izzeldin Abuelaish
Becky Lee Weyrich
Chris Cleave
Timothy Williams
Neil Richards
Joe Craig
Cyndi Friberg
Cynthia Harrod-Eagles