Read Online Future Queens of England by Ryan Matthews - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ryan Matthews
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headboard. Still holding the duvet up near his chin he took his magazine and continued to read it.
One by one the others all completed their nightly routines, got undressed and into bed and switched off their bed side lamps. Tony, however, stayed ever vigilant with one eye on his magazine and the other eye on the rest of the room, his was the last light to remain on.
After a minute or two of not being fully able to concentrate on his magazine he found himself starting to relax a little. He found an interesting article and gave it his full attention, he turned the page and the edge scraped across the duvet making a brief faint scuffing sound. From across the room Uwe huffed and turned over. Tony’s eyes left the page for a moment and watched the movement from Uwe’s bed. Uwe huffed audibly again and shuffled in his bed. Tony turned to the next page and Uwe opened his eyes wide in an exaggerated manner.
“Tony!” shouted Uwe in an exasperated tone, “will you please stop reading and turn that light out!”
Tony smirked to himself pleased that he had finally found a chink in Uwe’s armour, “give it a rest Herman the German, I’ll be finished in an hour or so.”
Uwe tutted loudly.
“Oh come on Tony,” squealed Hugh joining in, “we’ve all got to get up in a few hours. It’s a big day tomorrow.”
“Yeah and some of us need our beauty sleep,” muttered Gareth.
Tony tried to ignore them and attempted to read his magazine again.
“Hey, enough’s enough Tony,” said Keenan after a few more minutes, “lights out eh?”
“Oh for Christ’s sake,” Tony shouted angrily, ”if it’s too light for you I’ll dim it so as not to hurt your sensitive little eyes.” He fidgeted and fumbled about under the bed covers for a moment, sticking his tongue out in concentration, and then pulled out the underpants that he had been wearing that day. Carefully, keeping the duvet close to his chest so he didn’t reveal any flesh, he hung his tired red pants over the top of his bed side lampshade. The light in the room was reduced to a dim glow. “How’s that for a compromise?” he said triumphantly.
Uwe stared at the ceiling but spoke to Tony, “it’s still not good enough for me,” he explained. “I am like a delicate flower and like all plants I need complete darkness to photosynthesise.”
“You thick shit Uwe,” Tony patronised, “photosynthesis happens during the day. If you want to photosynthesise then you actually need me to leave the light on dickhead! No wonder you lost the bloody war,” he added with more than a hint of jingoism.
“I wondered how long it would be before one of you inselaffen would start talking about the war,” Uwe bawled.
“What’s an inselaffen Uwe?” enquired Hugh.
“Oh yes, I forgot none of you island monkeys can speak a second language, you just expect the rest of the world to learn English,” Uwe spat venomously. “If you really want to know Hugh buy yourself a German dictionary.”
“Everyone just shut up will you! Look, Tony, just turn the bloody light off so we can all get some sleep,” Keenan appealed.
“Oh Jesus wept! Sleep is for losers and narcoleptics,” cried Tony as he shook his magazine with agitation and attempted to read on ignoring their protests.
After a few minutes the heat released from the light bulb gradually started to warm Tony’s pants up. A small brown singe mark started to appear and a very faint crackling could be heard as the pants started to burn. As the temperature of Tony’s pants continued to rise they started to release a musky odour of the day’s sweat combined with the smell of burning polyester.
In the semi-darkness Bruce propped himself up onto one elbow and said with a grin, “What’s that delicious smell?” He chuckled to himself.
Uwe chimed in, “ Mein Gott! It smells just like hot weisswurst like I used to have back home in Westphalia.”
Panic started
One by one the others all completed their nightly routines, got undressed and into bed and switched off their bed side lamps. Tony, however, stayed ever vigilant with one eye on his magazine and the other eye on the rest of the room, his was the last light to remain on.
After a minute or two of not being fully able to concentrate on his magazine he found himself starting to relax a little. He found an interesting article and gave it his full attention, he turned the page and the edge scraped across the duvet making a brief faint scuffing sound. From across the room Uwe huffed and turned over. Tony’s eyes left the page for a moment and watched the movement from Uwe’s bed. Uwe huffed audibly again and shuffled in his bed. Tony turned to the next page and Uwe opened his eyes wide in an exaggerated manner.
“Tony!” shouted Uwe in an exasperated tone, “will you please stop reading and turn that light out!”
Tony smirked to himself pleased that he had finally found a chink in Uwe’s armour, “give it a rest Herman the German, I’ll be finished in an hour or so.”
Uwe tutted loudly.
“Oh come on Tony,” squealed Hugh joining in, “we’ve all got to get up in a few hours. It’s a big day tomorrow.”
“Yeah and some of us need our beauty sleep,” muttered Gareth.
Tony tried to ignore them and attempted to read his magazine again.
“Hey, enough’s enough Tony,” said Keenan after a few more minutes, “lights out eh?”
“Oh for Christ’s sake,” Tony shouted angrily, ”if it’s too light for you I’ll dim it so as not to hurt your sensitive little eyes.” He fidgeted and fumbled about under the bed covers for a moment, sticking his tongue out in concentration, and then pulled out the underpants that he had been wearing that day. Carefully, keeping the duvet close to his chest so he didn’t reveal any flesh, he hung his tired red pants over the top of his bed side lampshade. The light in the room was reduced to a dim glow. “How’s that for a compromise?” he said triumphantly.
Uwe stared at the ceiling but spoke to Tony, “it’s still not good enough for me,” he explained. “I am like a delicate flower and like all plants I need complete darkness to photosynthesise.”
“You thick shit Uwe,” Tony patronised, “photosynthesis happens during the day. If you want to photosynthesise then you actually need me to leave the light on dickhead! No wonder you lost the bloody war,” he added with more than a hint of jingoism.
“I wondered how long it would be before one of you inselaffen would start talking about the war,” Uwe bawled.
“What’s an inselaffen Uwe?” enquired Hugh.
“Oh yes, I forgot none of you island monkeys can speak a second language, you just expect the rest of the world to learn English,” Uwe spat venomously. “If you really want to know Hugh buy yourself a German dictionary.”
“Everyone just shut up will you! Look, Tony, just turn the bloody light off so we can all get some sleep,” Keenan appealed.
“Oh Jesus wept! Sleep is for losers and narcoleptics,” cried Tony as he shook his magazine with agitation and attempted to read on ignoring their protests.
After a few minutes the heat released from the light bulb gradually started to warm Tony’s pants up. A small brown singe mark started to appear and a very faint crackling could be heard as the pants started to burn. As the temperature of Tony’s pants continued to rise they started to release a musky odour of the day’s sweat combined with the smell of burning polyester.
In the semi-darkness Bruce propped himself up onto one elbow and said with a grin, “What’s that delicious smell?” He chuckled to himself.
Uwe chimed in, “ Mein Gott! It smells just like hot weisswurst like I used to have back home in Westphalia.”
Panic started
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