ingrained inside, that…
And a memory comes back. Long and tedious training. ‘You taught me that,’ I say slowly. ‘How to memorise positions and places, how to draw maps.’ Consequences were dire if we made a mistake: I remember, and quail inside. But I don’t make mistakes any more.
He smiles. ‘Yes. That was part of your training. You will do it.’
‘Yes. I will.’
‘Now get going.’
I stand, and he unlocks the door, looks both ways. ‘All clear. Go.’
I run around the school track, not trusting myself to meet Cam for the drive home until I calm down. All the moments with Nico I hold to myself, inside.
I was his favourite!
He hugged me. My forehead still tingles where his lips touched.
He saved me.
So many reasons he could have been angry, but he wasn’t!
But most of all: I know who I am . I know where I come from, and where I belong. What I must do. The Lorders failed . I remember .
Joy threatens composure, and I pound harder and harder around the track, until a wolf whistle pierces my reverie. I spin round.
Cam.
He claps, and I slow my pace, do another lap to cool down, then walk over to him.
‘Geez, you can run. Is this what you so desperately needed to do after school?’
I’m breathing hard. I shrug. ‘Sometimes, I really need to run,’ I say, not answering the question directly. And it is true enough. It used to be that I’d run to keep my levels up. Curious, I look at my Levo. Still hovering around 6: running used to put it up into the 8s, but it really is a useless bit of kit now.
‘Time to head home?’
I nod. ‘Sorry I’m all sweaty,’ I say, and grin, then try to remember to tone down. At least I have running as an excuse for being giddy.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
----
‘Are you ready to go?’ Mum asks.
I look up from the homework I am pretending to do at the kitchen table.
‘Where?’ I say, my mind a blank.
She laughs. ‘What day is it?’
And all I can think of is Guy Fawkes. Hard to believe this is still the same day that started before the sun came up with a burning house, and Tori.
‘It’s Thursday,’ she says.
‘Thursday?’ I stare at her blankly.
‘Group, right?’
‘Oh. Sorry.’ I dash to brush my hair, grab shoes. How could I forget? Too many other things floating through my mind. Group is every Thursday night. All the Slateds from the surrounding area get together with Nurse Penny to support our transition from hospital to society. Huh. More like to spy on us and watch for any deviation that needs to be dealt with. Then I squirm at my thoughts. That may be true in some ways, but Penny is all right.
This is still a test .
Yes. I must be like the rest of them. Penny or any other hidden listening ears mustn’t notice anything different or wrong. I cast my mind back. Last Thursday, I was so upset about Ben I could barely stay level enough to remain conscious. She’ll expect the same.
I focus on that day, being that person, pushing Rain and her memories aside.
Kyla, you’re on .
Penny’s jumper is bright lemon yellow with purple trim, her face just as sunny. She is talking to a woman and girl, neither of whom I recognise. The girl is fourteen or so, and grinning like a lunatic: a new Slated. They are all like that to begin with. Full of joy that the Lorders have stolen their memories, their past; that no matter what crimes they have committed, here is their second chance and a new life. I was like that, too, though less than most. Was it Rain’s memories hiding inside that always made me different?
The other nine are as always. No Tori any more; no Ben. And I don’t have to remind myself to be just Kyla, to act and look as she would. Here, in this place, I am her. Rain doesn’t belong.
We gather our chairs into a circle, and it begins.
Penny stands at the front. ‘Good evening everyone!’ Everyone looks at each other, hesitates. ‘Good evening,’ a few voices say back, and then the rest chime in.
‘Tonight I want you to welcome
And a memory comes back. Long and tedious training. ‘You taught me that,’ I say slowly. ‘How to memorise positions and places, how to draw maps.’ Consequences were dire if we made a mistake: I remember, and quail inside. But I don’t make mistakes any more.
He smiles. ‘Yes. That was part of your training. You will do it.’
‘Yes. I will.’
‘Now get going.’
I stand, and he unlocks the door, looks both ways. ‘All clear. Go.’
I run around the school track, not trusting myself to meet Cam for the drive home until I calm down. All the moments with Nico I hold to myself, inside.
I was his favourite!
He hugged me. My forehead still tingles where his lips touched.
He saved me.
So many reasons he could have been angry, but he wasn’t!
But most of all: I know who I am . I know where I come from, and where I belong. What I must do. The Lorders failed . I remember .
Joy threatens composure, and I pound harder and harder around the track, until a wolf whistle pierces my reverie. I spin round.
Cam.
He claps, and I slow my pace, do another lap to cool down, then walk over to him.
‘Geez, you can run. Is this what you so desperately needed to do after school?’
I’m breathing hard. I shrug. ‘Sometimes, I really need to run,’ I say, not answering the question directly. And it is true enough. It used to be that I’d run to keep my levels up. Curious, I look at my Levo. Still hovering around 6: running used to put it up into the 8s, but it really is a useless bit of kit now.
‘Time to head home?’
I nod. ‘Sorry I’m all sweaty,’ I say, and grin, then try to remember to tone down. At least I have running as an excuse for being giddy.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
----
‘Are you ready to go?’ Mum asks.
I look up from the homework I am pretending to do at the kitchen table.
‘Where?’ I say, my mind a blank.
She laughs. ‘What day is it?’
And all I can think of is Guy Fawkes. Hard to believe this is still the same day that started before the sun came up with a burning house, and Tori.
‘It’s Thursday,’ she says.
‘Thursday?’ I stare at her blankly.
‘Group, right?’
‘Oh. Sorry.’ I dash to brush my hair, grab shoes. How could I forget? Too many other things floating through my mind. Group is every Thursday night. All the Slateds from the surrounding area get together with Nurse Penny to support our transition from hospital to society. Huh. More like to spy on us and watch for any deviation that needs to be dealt with. Then I squirm at my thoughts. That may be true in some ways, but Penny is all right.
This is still a test .
Yes. I must be like the rest of them. Penny or any other hidden listening ears mustn’t notice anything different or wrong. I cast my mind back. Last Thursday, I was so upset about Ben I could barely stay level enough to remain conscious. She’ll expect the same.
I focus on that day, being that person, pushing Rain and her memories aside.
Kyla, you’re on .
Penny’s jumper is bright lemon yellow with purple trim, her face just as sunny. She is talking to a woman and girl, neither of whom I recognise. The girl is fourteen or so, and grinning like a lunatic: a new Slated. They are all like that to begin with. Full of joy that the Lorders have stolen their memories, their past; that no matter what crimes they have committed, here is their second chance and a new life. I was like that, too, though less than most. Was it Rain’s memories hiding inside that always made me different?
The other nine are as always. No Tori any more; no Ben. And I don’t have to remind myself to be just Kyla, to act and look as she would. Here, in this place, I am her. Rain doesn’t belong.
We gather our chairs into a circle, and it begins.
Penny stands at the front. ‘Good evening everyone!’ Everyone looks at each other, hesitates. ‘Good evening,’ a few voices say back, and then the rest chime in.
‘Tonight I want you to welcome
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